Meeting his family

[kirbycat]

In the first week of June, I will be joining my SO and his family for a vacation at a lake in northern Minnesota. It'll be his parents, sister, grandmother, and a couple extended family members. This trip is a yearly tradition for them. My family takes a similar vacation every summer in Michigan, but it's always been a strictly family thing; there's only been a couple times when a non-relative has joined us (not that we're anti-other people or anything, that's just the way it's always gone). I think my SO's family is more inclusive of friends, etc. on their trip, but it still feels like a big deal to me. Especially when we've only been dating for two months.

It's also a big deal because it'll be the first time I'm meeting his family - immediate AND extended family, all sharing one little lakeside cabin for a week. I've met his parents and sister over Skype already; they're wonderful, generous people, and I know they're excited to meet me, so I know I have nothing to worry about. And from what he's told me about his family, I'm pretty sure I'll fit in well. However, this will also be my first time ever meeting a boyfriend's family (I've never reached this point in a relationship before ) so I can't help but be a little nervous.

I know the general rule for this situation is "just be yourself." But does anyone have any other good advice? Things that are good/bad to do? Lessons learned from your own family-meeting experiences? Awkward questions from his mother I should be prepared to answer?

[blueeyes79]

I am meeting my SO family next month too...All 7 siblings, neices, nephewa thier kids, his mom of course...I am so nervous LOL...I cant wait thought i am also exicted/ i hope they like me...LOL

[notyourexgirlfriend]

I'm sure everything will go well

[lala]

aaw that's cute and so nice that they invited you. I met my SO parent's a few times..but this summer I'll stay at their house for 7 weeks and am super excited!
the advice I would give you is of course first to be yourself!! I think it's also nice to bring a little something (bottle wine..). When they were around I didn't kiss him or did this lovey dovey things- for me it has to do with respect. And that is the most important, to respect his parents and family!

[ChibiFelicia]

I met his family the first time i went to the states (like a few days after >.<) We'd been dating nearly a year by the point. Hadn't ever spoken to his family (except cousins i play games with) I was soooo nervous! But i agree with other be yourself and i'll agree with lala regarding not doing any lovey dovey stuff. We always kept our distance. Every time we see his family its like that...except his aunty. We like winding her up lol She keeps telling us to get a room lol

[snow_girl]

Don't build it up in your head. When I dated guys in school and would go over to their house's meeting their parents was not big deal at all. Why make it a big deal now? It'll be fine

[theBeardedDutchman]

I just met my SO's whole family earlier this month. It can be stressful because you want to make a good impression. Having a gift of some sort is always nice and a good entry into conversation. I agree with not doing anything lovey at first. Be yourself, be polite, and enjoy the time

[kirbycat]

Thanks for the reassurance.

I've thought of bringing some kind of gift, but I don't really know what would be appropriate. We're going to be staying at a rustic lakeside cabin, and most of the time will be spend fishing/boating/hiking/roasting marshmallows over the fire. What's a good gift for that kind of situation?

[lyonsgirl]

Relax! His family is excited to me the lady in his life, and obviously want to meet you because you were invited.

My SO's family is now my family as well, so I help out with whatever I can. His parents bought a new dishwasher the last time I was there and his dad is hopeless with tools, (and his mom was at work) so I helped out putting it in. (I let the boys do the heavy lifting!) The golden rule applies in all situations, especially when meeting family! (Treat others the way you want to be treated.)

ETA: Just saw your post... Does his family like board/card games? My grandpa has a cabin in Minnesota and one of the best things we do after a long day on the lake is family game night.

[one-more-reason]

I agree with everyone else, just relax and be yourself and you'll be okay! I'm sure they're very excited to meet you. when I met my SO's parents for the first time I didn't bring a gift or anything, I just got a bit dressed up and like others said, I made sure to not be too lovey around my SO. we were just having dinner at his house so I offered to help a lot, clearing the table and helping with the dishes, his mom liked that. :P so yeah, things were totally fine! we got along really well. now whenever my SO is home and we're talking on skype his mom will come say hi and we'll chat for a little while (while my SO rolls his eyes in the background of course). :P

as for awkward questions, nothing really awkward came up in conversation when I met his parents, but an awkward situation arose a bit later... we had been together for a little over two months when I met his parents the first time, we hadn't had sex yet, but we had gotten used to sharing a bed and enjoyed sleeping together. at my SO's house he has a roll-out bed underneath his bed in his room and his mom went to a lot of trouble to set it up for me so that I could sleep there. that night I slept in my SO's bed with him, but in the morning I kind of had to... ruffle around the sheets a bit and make it look like I had slept in the other bed. :/ the second time I stayed at his house with him (this was about a month later) she didn't bother taking out the second bed for me... maybe she knew all along that I hadn't slept there the first time, but nothing was said about it and it didn't end up being awkward, even though it's a funny story to tell. :P

good luck! I'm sure it'll be fun.

[cambells19]

You don't necessarily have to bring a gift. If you want to though, you could bring board games to play in the free time, you could bring marshmallows for roasting over the fire, or you could possibly make snacks for people since you will be hiking. You don't have to go all crazy and get them a scented candle or something even though it would be nice. Just be yourself and enjoy the moment.