Not sure what to do?

[Maximum212]

I'm 15, the girl is 14. I know we're young. You could say the girl was my SO, and partially still is. I just feel odd because given the circumstances, I'm not sure where all of this is going to do. We met on a chat site months ago, and talked for a little while before I told her about my feelings for her, twice i believe, and finally asked her out. I truly think I did love her, she did mean something to me, and she had a special place in my heart. I don't think I've ever been truly IN LOVE though. Not even with her. The feelings were definitely there for her though. Due to our ages, our parents didn't want us to date anyone yet. We dated for a month until I brought the issue up to her, and she agreed that she didn't want to date behind her parents' backs anymore. I didn't want to do so with my parents either. So we broke up, staying friends, even while we still had feelings for each other. I still have feelings for her, but recently I'm not sure of her feelings for me.
One day, on the 26 going into the 27th I believe, I was texting her. She said I could call any time after 4PM. Being so excited since we barely ever got calls in, I overdid it, calling 3 times, 5, 6 and 7PM, and texting her twice. I think I came off as pretty clingy. Since then, she didn't come online (on the chat site) and didn't text me. I got worried, to say the least. She did come online two days or so ago, and she said that she didn't get my phone calls or texts because her phone was off, saying that people love to call her for some reason and that if they wanted to talk to her, they could text her. I don't see how this justifies turning your phone off, and not getting in contact with me somehow, not even one text. Apparently she was dealing with some "dumb bull" and that was why she wasn't on. But I still don't understand why she wouldn't text me at least once. I'm always the one to start the conversations, text, the chat site or otherwise, and I wish that would change. We haven't texted each other since then.
Its as if unless I start a conversation with her, she won't start one with me. She does text me first sometimes, on a good day. But it doesn't happen that often, so its pretty one-sided. I stopped texting her for fear of seeming even more clingy, and also partially waiting to see if she would text me. No such luck. I don't know how I feel about this. I feel like her feelings for me are dwindling, but my feelings for her are still strong. I know its pretty unrealistic, given that it would most likely be many years, 8-9 at the most, before we see each other because of our ages and school and all, unless she takes a trip over to NYC, or I somehow end up going to Tennessee. I guess that's why I'm a Pisces, I find it pretty hard to give up on things, even really unrealistic things like this. I still think it could work if we just stay friends for a while. I am afraid of the friend zone, and I am afraid that her feelings for me would change. But if that happens, it can't be helped. I'm pretty worried. What can I do?

[lucybelle]

At 15 I think you should go ahead and get in that friend zone. 8-9 years is a long time to wait to just meet someone. I feel like you'll miss out on all the fun, stupid things a teen is supposed to do. Stay friends, and if it's meant to be it's meant to be. There's plenty of stories of rekindling old friendships and turning them into something more. Maybe you can be that story one day. But for now, don't put your young life on hold.

[Caitlin2009]

ditto to what Lucy said, your still young you have plenty of time for that in your life. 8-9 years is too long just to see someone for a visit, one of the rules for an LDR is to visit at least once a year maybe more if you can, but i assume your in middle school so your chances of visiting one another is slim to none, unless your parents say its ok and they go with you. and they are right you are too young for a relationship. wait a few years

[Sora1101]

I also agree with what was said above

I started dating my SO when I was 15 and because of it I've let a lot of fun opportunities pass me by, school dances, date night with friends, dating in general. We've been dating for almost 3 years and I've seen him a grand total of 3 days. It's hard as hell and I don't wish that on anyone and for awhile I started resenting my SO because I couldn't go out and be a teenager like all of my friends. What's more is you're both going to be going through a ton of changes during your time apart and either by time you meet or somewhere along the way you're going to lose feelings for each other and all of those fun things you missed out on you're never going to be able to get back.

Take it slow, be friends and after awhile your parents will see that you are just friends and maybe they will let you meet, see what happens then or 8-9 years from now but don't waste your prime years chasing after someone you probably won't end up with anyway. Sorry if that sounds harsh but trust someone who's been down that road unless you truly love someone with all your heart a LDR is impossible, it takes tremendous effort to make it work especially when you won't be meeting for a very long time. You have a lot of growing to do and that's not a bad thing so do you really want to be tied down to some face over the computer screen while all your friends are out partying and having fun while you're stuck home glued to your phone or computer for someone who you're not 100% sure you love?

[luna_banana]

At 15 I think you should go ahead and get in that friend zone. 8-9 years is a long time to wait to just meet someone. I feel like you'll miss out on all the fun, stupid things a teen is supposed to do. Stay friends, and if it's meant to be it's meant to be. There's plenty of stories of rekindling old friendships and turning them into something more. Maybe you can be that story one day. But for now, don't put your young life on hold.

This is so true! My dad had a huge crush on his friend in high school but was always too scared to ask her out. He found her on facebook last year and they have finally started dating and are so happy together Things will work out if they are meant to be.

[Anna N' Luc]

I met my SO about 4, almost 5 years ago when I was 18 and he was 22. He was dating someone at the time and although both of us professed our feelings we decided to be friends. We lost touch, I moved to the USA and recently got back in touch with him via facebook and even though we haven’t seen each other in about 4 years, the feelings are still there and probably stronger than before. I’m more mature and ready for a relationship and so is he. We have both dated other people and both slept with other people (not that you should be even close to considering sleeping with someone at your age) and I think that because we have both had these experiences, we know what we want out of a relationship. I truly believe that he is the one for me but I also think that if we had started dating when we first met, we probably wouldn’t have stayed together, we were both so young and immature and mistakes would have been made. Good luck, I know it’s hard when someone you like doesn’t seem to reciprocate, I will say this though, when I was 14, I was terrible at telling people how I felt, communication is just not something teens tend to be good at so there is every possibility that she is just not good at the communication side of things. I’d say, be friends with her, keep in touch and you never know what may happen years down the track.

[BoyInLove]

Advice! Take it or leave it.

One thing I've discovered due to my older sister's business of going to various anime conventions around the USA is that it doesn't take much to travel 'cross the states, though of course for you your parents would be the ones driving. I feel as though you should have tried to have you both convince your parents that even if this isn't love, you both want to see where it takes you. Because really, what if this IS the one you're matched to? Consider it. Before you talk with her, talk with your parents. Try to convince them to accept that you want to date this girl, tell them that you and her stopped dating behind their backs because you respected their decision [that'll get you brownie points with them], and then ask them, plead with them if you don't care about your pride, to see it from your point of view. This passion, this lovely romance you want.. Even if they doubt you can have these deep feelings at this age, tell them that you want to find out. Depending on their reaction, you can proceed from there. If they see things your way [Heck, if you get them to drive you sometime! I feel as though it could work, only a 12 hour drive or so, longer with sleeping breaks], tell this girl that you want to rekindle things and tell her about what you did with your parents. You'll definitely see her true feelings for you then. Then ask her to try and do the same with her parents, and it may all work out happily ever after, neh?
If your parents don't see things your way, then wait another day or two and ask this girl something along the lines of, "In an ideal world, where you got everything you wanted, would you choose to be with me?". If she says yes, ask her what she wants to do about both of your feelings for each other, because it's difficult not knowing what you've decided for the future. If she says no, well... I think she might have moved on.

That's just a general suggestion though, feel free to alter it or discard it entirely. I'm a believer in your kind of situation succeeding. Why? 'Cause I'm 16, my girl is 14-nearly-15, and we're utterly in love and don't regret our decisions in staying with each other, even waiting for each other for a few years before we can live together. It works, and truly, the only bad thing is when I'm not talking to her, I miss her. And that's not a bad thing for a relationship. But all in all, I also wanna comment on this: Just because she nearly never texts you first doesn't mean you should assume anything. If it's always been this way and you haven't talked to her about it, maybe it's just who she is. I know some people that never take the initiative to talk to others/me, yet they enjoy the contact nonetheless. Also, that "dumb bull" sounds like a jock trying to date her, spamming her phone with messages and getting her annoyed enough to turn off her phone. I'm sure if a cheerleader tried to get you to date her and you didn't want to and she sent you a message every 3 minutes, you'd do something drastic too. Good luck!