EX LDR contacts me. Wants her things back.

[Brieasaurus]

I just don't like the personal attacks stating I'm controlling or anything like that. That is not an excuse. I never told her what to do and I have not personally insulted anyone on here either, but I see a line of double standards in my interactions on here. I am expected to 'man up' but she is not expected to return my stuff. Those things are just as important to me as her possessions. And that is fair.

She has contacted me several times after our break up trying to see what I was doing. She also got informed I was out of town and she said she didn't want to hear about me partying or enjoying myself being 'I'm not happy I don't want you to be either' after I cut contact from her.

She could have easily asked for her things prior to this, but conveniently forgot when she was breaking up with me through Facebook. I really have no obligation to even contact her with her requests to get her things back. I simply want my things back including my money back as well. That is only fair.

Firstly, nobody has called you controlling or personally attacked you in this thread. I don't understand why you keep bringing this up when it has nothing to do with the issue at hand here. It also isn't a gender debate. Just because a large amount of us who are saying that you should give her stuff back are girls, means nothing. What it does mean, is that we all feel you should do it. We're not forcing you to do anything; it's just our opinion. You asked for our opinion and there it is.

Reading what you just said about her being upset about you going out and all that, it seems like she's still playing games with you. If you really cut contact with her, you shouldn't be accepting her calls or anything. Who cares if she's upset that you had fun? I know it's hard but you need to ignore her or else you're going to forever be bothered and upset by what she's doing or saying about you.

The only reason I'm really bothered by this thread is because of the fact that I've had to go through this before except not with an ex. My best friend at the time and I had gone on vacation together and over the course of the vacation, we got into a really big fight. She ended up stealing the necklace my SO had given to me at our first visit, along with two copies of Chuck Palahniuk books where he had personally written me messages and my favorite sweatshirt. Once I got home and realized those items weren't in my bags, I was devastated. I called her and she told me that if I didn't pay for the "price" of the trip (it wasn't even a paid trip, it was a family trip) and forgave her then I would never see them again. I didn't and although she did end up giving my necklace back, I never got my other stuff back. I don't regret it because I'm glad that I never have to deal with her again.

So I know where you're coming from but I also know how it feels to have something that you value being held "hostage". I think it's really unreasonable to ask for that money back considering it was suppose to be a trip that would've benefited both of you. You gave her that gift. Let it be a lesson learned. I think you should give her the locket back because it's kind. If you don't feel that, then don't and don't ask her for your stuff back either. Those are the only two "fair" answers there are considering you can't force her into giving you your stuff back. Continuing to argue with her about it is only going to keep bringing up bad emotions. I hope you can at least see my point of view a little bit better now.

[Biscous]

I completely understand.

[Kerry]

The only reason I'm really bothered by this thread is because of the fact that I've had to go through this before except not with an ex. My best friend at the time and I had gone on vacation together and over the course of the vacation, we got into a really big fight. She ended up stealing the necklace my SO had given to me at our first visit, along with two copies of Chuck Palahniuk books where he had personally written me messages and my favorite sweatshirt. Once I got home and realized those items weren't in my bags, I was devastated. I called her and she told me that if I didn't pay for the "price" of the trip (it wasn't even a paid trip, it was a family trip) and forgave her then I would never see them again. I didn't and although she did end up giving my necklace back, I never got my other stuff back. I don't regret it because I'm glad that I never have to deal with her again.

omg... how awful! it needs to be said but what a bitch!

[Romeo s Juliet]

omg... how awful! it needs to be said but what a bitch!

^^
whoohoo yes i second i second it!