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    Feeling demotivated

    my SO and I decided to join a volunteer project in a third country so that we can have something to do this summer and also 'travel' together. We were both very eager. But the process was such a roller coaster ride. We had countless problems in the way but eventually found a way to solve them.
    Once I told her that my family is having some financial problem. But my parent still let me go on this trip and we can well afford it. There was one problem today. the earliest appointment I could make to apply for visa is just 7 days before my departure date. I can still ask the embassy to speed it up but I'm still worried. I asked for some support from her, just want her to say everything would be alright. Instead, I got something like: 'it's not really important whether you can go or not' and she talked about me giving up a few days ago because of my family's problem. I was crushed to hear those words and felt really demotivated. I only need one last step before we can see each other again and I tried so hard. I thought she might be worried to much about me or maybe she is a bit stressed about her school work recently. But making excuses doesn't make it better I don't want to give up until my visa officially got refused. but what she said was heart-breaking what should I do or tell her now

    #2
    Sometimes we say the wrong thing. For example, last night I was freaking out - for some reason (likely tired after a long day at work and we hadn't had dinner yet) I was convinced I'd die in childbirth and I told my SO that. Instead of something comforting, he came out with "Then maybe you should have it in the hospital". Immediately he could see on my face he'd put his foot in it But, my point is, we or our partners, just can't always come out with the right thing at the time. We don't always know how to respond, or we're caught up in our own feelings.

    Just bring it up gently with her, tell her you understand why she said those things but that when you're scared and reaching out to her, that's not the things you need her to be saying. You need support, and to be uplifted. Just tell her what you need, so next time she'll have a better time knowing the right course. She doesn't actually want to hurt you.
    Carrots xx
    Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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      #3
      Originally posted by Zephii View Post
      Sometimes we say the wrong thing. For example, last night I was freaking out - for some reason (likely tired after a long day at work and we hadn't had dinner yet) I was convinced I'd die in childbirth and I told my SO that. Instead of something comforting, he came out with "Then maybe you should have it in the hospital". Immediately he could see on my face he'd put his foot in it But, my point is, we or our partners, just can't always come out with the right thing at the time. We don't always know how to respond, or we're caught up in our own feelings.

      Just bring it up gently with her, tell her you understand why she said those things but that when you're scared and reaching out to her, that's not the things you need her to be saying. You need support, and to be uplifted. Just tell her what you need, so next time she'll have a better time knowing the right course. She doesn't actually want to hurt you.
      Carrots xx
      ^^this ^^ completely agree with this

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