Convincing Her to Make Her Happy, Not for me.
Hi everyone,
My SO is in-between where she wants to go to college. She lives in and grew up in Sioux Falls,South Dakota, went to Bemidji State in Bemidji, Minnesota for her freshmen year and does not want to go back. She wants to Either go to Weber State in Ogden, Utah OR Metro State in Denver, Colorado.
The problem is her parents will not support her unless she is going to a school in South Dakota or Minnesota. She WILL NOT go to a college in South Dakota and doesn't want to go to Minnesota but will if she HAS TO. Her fall back is St. Cloud State in St. Cloud, Minnesota. Although she will not be that happy to be there she is realizing that might be what happens.
How she can make it work at Weber or Metro is by moving there and taking a year off to gain residency for in state tuition. Out of state tuition is just too much. Weber is going to be almost impossible because of how much it will cost to move and the worries or finding a job before running out of money. I clearly would love to have here close to me in Colorado but I worry that she's scared of coming here because I am here. I understand because we have only known each other since January but I don't want her here to be with me. I want her to move here because it is what would make her happy. I mean that seriously. Yes it'd be my dream to have her here but more then that I want to see my baby girl happy with where she will be for the next 3, 4, or 5 years of her life.
Now the hard part. Getting her to belief that I want her here to be happy with where she is living, and not to be near me. The harder part would be that the best way for her to live out here would be to live with me at my moms house (pay very cheap rent and own groceries) till she could get her feet under her (job and place of her own... or with me if we're ready). She is very independent and would feel very guilty about accepting this. I want her to understand that I am offering her this because I want her to be able to go to school and live someWHERE she loves and not for someONE she loves (me, although both would be nice).
How can i make her understand this? Advice? Anything?
P.S. Sorry if this just seems like venting.
My SO is in-between where she wants to go to college. She lives in and grew up in Sioux Falls,South Dakota, went to Bemidji State in Bemidji, Minnesota for her freshmen year and does not want to go back. She wants to Either go to Weber State in Ogden, Utah OR Metro State in Denver, Colorado.
The problem is her parents will not support her unless she is going to a school in South Dakota or Minnesota. She WILL NOT go to a college in South Dakota and doesn't want to go to Minnesota but will if she HAS TO. Her fall back is St. Cloud State in St. Cloud, Minnesota. Although she will not be that happy to be there she is realizing that might be what happens.
How she can make it work at Weber or Metro is by moving there and taking a year off to gain residency for in state tuition. Out of state tuition is just too much. Weber is going to be almost impossible because of how much it will cost to move and the worries or finding a job before running out of money. I clearly would love to have here close to me in Colorado but I worry that she's scared of coming here because I am here. I understand because we have only known each other since January but I don't want her here to be with me. I want her to move here because it is what would make her happy. I mean that seriously. Yes it'd be my dream to have her here but more then that I want to see my baby girl happy with where she will be for the next 3, 4, or 5 years of her life.
Now the hard part. Getting her to belief that I want her here to be happy with where she is living, and not to be near me. The harder part would be that the best way for her to live out here would be to live with me at my moms house (pay very cheap rent and own groceries) till she could get her feet under her (job and place of her own... or with me if we're ready). She is very independent and would feel very guilty about accepting this. I want her to understand that I am offering her this because I want her to be able to go to school and live someWHERE she loves and not for someONE she loves (me, although both would be nice).
How can i make her understand this? Advice? Anything?
P.S. Sorry if this just seems like venting.
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