Before the pain

[mandy]

So Ive never really posted anything before and am really new to all this but i know what im im about to do is going to be one of the hardest thigs ive experienced. Me and my boyfriend have been off and on for 5 years, this time it feels so right, everything feels alot better. The thing is.. ive decided to move back to my parents to study for the next year and its in the next state. Im so so so scared that im going to ruin how far we have come?? I have 4 weeks left with him before i move and im not feeling very secure about it. Although we have come far compaire to where we were i still feel we have so much to work on. He keeps telling me all will be ok. But im so scared. does anyone have any tips or thoughts on what i can do or what i should be doing in these 4 weeks???

[kittyo9]

A lot of people here started CD and ended up LD for similar reasons. It's not uncommon, and there isn't much reason to be scared if you trust him and he trusts you. You'll only be a state away-- that means visiting isn't going to be very complicated and you'll be able to see him something like once a month or every other month, maybe more, if it's in your/his budget. I know it seems scary right now, but given some time, you will get used to it. Just make sure you want to be with him and that you stay honest and open with him while you're at a distance, as well as learning to communicate your feelings over media such as instant messaging and phone/video chatting. This takes practice if you aren't already used to it, but eventually you will find a system that works for you. My SO and I use emoticons ( ) and action phrases marked by asterisks ( *hugs you* ) to communicate feelings and actions just as if we were physically together.

In the next four weeks, you might want to talk to him about how you plan to see one another while you're studying and how you are going to communicate with one another. Having this stuff straightened out before you go LD will help make the transition easier.

[Honeypie]

I agree .. you have to figure out all the different ways you'll be "talking" 99% of the time my SO & I text. We use smiley faces ( ) but we show actions alot too {HUGS} {KISS KISS}.

[Zephii]

It could potentially be very good for your relationship. Once all the physical stuff is taken away, all you have is communication, and at the base of it, that's the most important part, next to love itself.
Before you leave, talk about the 'rules' of the relationship (open or closed, will there be checking in or freedom, how often do you expect to talk, etc) and have plenty of sex.
Good luck!

[floridaellen]

It could potentially be very good for your relationship. Once all the physical stuff is taken away, all you have is communication, and at the base of it, that's the most important part, next to love itself.
Before you leave, talk about the 'rules' of the relationship (open or closed, will there be checking in or freedom, how often do you expect to talk, etc) and have plenty of sex.
Good luck!

As usual, I agree with Zephii! My SO and I started off CD and then became LD for college. It has actually strengthened our relationship!

Oh and definitely have a lot of sex. That's the worse part :P

[aeiouna]

Just agreeing with what everyone else said. I'm another one from the "CD to LD (back to CD)" camp and my SO and I both agree we're a lot stronger now than we were before going long distance.

[mandy]

Thanks everyone it's very comforting to hear your stories and how you guys go about it with out going insane, I plan to take all your advise and see how we go thank you all so much.