LDR haters make me mad

[wr1312ec]

there is this guy that i work with who knows that my BF and I are in a LDR and he keeps telling me that i'm wasting my time with him and that my BF is probably seeing other girls and that my BF doesn't mean it when he says things like i'll never cheat on you or i love you. I trust my BF 100% I know he is sincere when he tells me that he loves me and i know that he won't do anything to hurt me or our relationship. I hate it when my co-worker says things like that to me, he says how can you be sure that he isn't seeing anyone and when was the last time you seen him. this guy knows my BF because we both started at this restaurant when it opened last oct however he was fired in nov and i haven't been able to see him since because of our conflicting work schedules. then he moved to PA in Jan about 5 days after we made us offical. I know i shouldn't let what this guy is saying get to me and i try my hardest to brush it off but it just ends up upsetting me and making me angry. and he isn't like a younger guy that is trying to break me and my BF up so he can get with me, he is in his early 60's. does anyone else get negativity about being in a LDR? how do you deal with it? i wanna just scream my head off sometimes lol

[Yaaamiii]

You're bound to get it eventually. Most, if not all, of us who are/have been in LDR's have gotten some sort of negative comment. It's just how you deal with it. I know it's hard and it can be very frustrating at times. Some people don't understand and may never understand. If it happens again, do your best to sound confident when you say that you know he would never cheat on you (not saying you don't sound confident, I have no clue.) He may never stop bugging you about it. Just try to keep calm and brush it off. It's probably not worth getting upset over =(. You guys know what your relationship is like and how strong it is, and only the two of you can define it.

[Darth_Taco]

Is he telling you this stuff while you're suppose to be working? If he is, just tell your boss he's bugging you over your personal life. Other than that, there's not much you can do. I get shit like this all the time, and not even with long distance. Do you have any idea how awkward it is to live in a Catholic neighborhood as a gay man? @_@ Trust me, no mater what choices you make in life, people will give you crap over it. All you can do when you're questioned or judged is that your choices are your own and you'd rather not have to explain yourself. If they keep bugging you over it, you point out that they're a nosy bitch :'D.

[corrda00]

Im in the same situation kinda. I just ignore it. This one guy at work says that my SO is gonna cheat on me and Im never goin to find out.
I know my SO, he doesn't. End of story. I know I can trust her. I know she won't cheat on me and I know if she did she would tell me.
Don't listen to people like that. They're just going to bring you down.

[kteire]

Yeah, just ignore it, and if you're not able to, don't get drawn into an argument about it! Never argue with an idiot, they'll drag you down to their level, and beat you with experience

I've found what's worked for me is being blunt. Like if someone says, he's probably cheating on you, I say, "Nope, he isn't." Or he doesn't love you, "Yes, he does." And if they pry past that, I just say "Well it's really none of your business, is it?" It really isn't anyone's business but yours and your SO's!!

[allbymysmelf]

I live in Paris, and a lot of french guys are not very respectful of girls. I had this one guy trying to get me to cheat on my boyfriend, and telling me how my relationship means nothing, and that its stupid. ETC. It made me really upset. Also, he had JUST met me so he knew nothing about me or my boyfriend! He was just annoyed because I was rejecting him and I told him that I already had a boyfriend back in England. It annoyed me more that he judged me as a person, saying that I was a girl and all girls want the same thing which is to have ***, and I said, if that is true then why would I be in a committed long distance relationship and rejecting you.. URGHH. PEOPLE!

[Grail]

It certainly can be discouraging when other people take out their own personal issues and use them as a measuring stick for your life experiences.
Unfortunately, it's human nature to judge things by what we know, but that doesn't make it right either.

As for me, I'm the type of person that feels pity for people that would make comments like that. While not all LDRs are picture perfect, he is obviously blind to some of the joys that have come from it. I hope you never feel obligated to be an "eye opener" for people like this, so you don't end up wasting any thoughts trying to convince him otherwise. However, if he continues to snip about you on this subject, you honestly have to stand up to him or he'll just be toxic until the day he dies.

For the most part, save your energy for improving yourself and your partner .

[Irina_Linn]

oh god i understand you sooooo much...some people (and even my friends!) with a smile on my face are telling me:well while he is so far maybe look around and find someone more rich,more beautiful etc? it just makes me so mad when they start advicing to look for other guys,like for rich dudes and shit (my BF is not a millionare,hes pretty average but i don care) or when some people sigh and then say "oh i dont believe it works out,it never does".what is their business anyway???

[BlueCat]

I've had people question me on this, it's usually the "how do you know he's not cheating on you?" to which I say "because I trust him." They can't really argue with your trust in your partner.

[Irina_Linn]

even when we were together in college (before LDR) there was a guy n he used to just come up and tell me "hey...u know..i heard stories about ur BF".n then he used to shut up and waited for me to react.even though i wanted to slap him so bad i asked calmly "wat stories?" n he was like "oh...that he is flirting and dating many girls here..that you guys broke up".or once i went looking for my guy (he was DJ in our bar and must have gone out) i met this guy again n asked did he see my BF and he replied "yeah outside...with a girl".i mean that girl is our mutual friends and i know he has many female friends so i dont make drama over it but the way this guy acted just pissed me off

[Honeypie]

I've found the best way to deal with people like that is simply to walk away .... when I've been told my SO could cheat & I'd never know about it, I reply "yes he could but he won't" & smile

[staystrong12]

My babe gets crap about it a lot more than I do, 'cause he knows a lot more people up where he lives and he actually has a social life and a job and all that. He's always around people. I guess when he was in high school (he just graduated last week), he was known as the guy who's in an online LDR. People always gave him crap about it, and it gets him down and angry a lot. Then I get pissed off, 'cause he has enough to deal with as it is. And I never like being asked how we met, 'cause I always get the same reaction, like "Ohh....that's....nice." You know, 1 in every 5 relationships start online nowadays. It is becoming more and more common. People are too quick to judge. And they're always in other people's business. Your LDR is your business, and no one else's. I can understand someone saying something because they're worried; but if they're just being jerks about it, don't listen to them. It's none of their business and they don't have a right to insult and judge your relationship.