What should I believe!?

[KarinaFreeman]

My SO and I have been together for a few months and we haven't talked on the phone yet because he was nervous!
So today he promised me that we could talk on the phone, then he told me he "wasnt feeling good" and he had a headache so he didnt want to talk...
but yet he's been on the computer all day today...
and when i told him that i didnt understand why he could go on the computer but couldnt talk to me,
he just got upset and said "he didnt want to fight about it"
what should i believe?
Does he just not want to talk to me?

[LadyMarchHare]

Some people have hard times talking on the phone. I'm one of them. I usually find any excuse to not use the phone or deal with anyone via phone except my best friend and, now, my SO. He may have that problem. He may also feel intimidated since it can be a big step, putting a voice to the text on the computer or to the pictures you have. I don't think it's that he doesn't want to talk to you, he probably is, as he said, nervous. The not feeling good could've either been a way to avoid it or he honestly made himself sick from nerves. But he's definitely avoiding the subject by thinking it'd spark a fight and I don't think it should. You honestly wanted to know why he said one thing yet was doing another.

My advice would be to ask him directly if he is looking for an excuse to not talk to you over the phone and why. Tell him how you feel but don't make it so it sounds like you're demanding this from him. Unless he's comfortable, the phone conversation won't be enjoyable for either of you. Basically this sounds like a bit of miscommunication if not outright lack of communication, but it happens. Frustrating as all get out, but you have to keep calm and try to work things out, even if it takes a while.

[Caitlin2009]

i have a hard time talking on the phone myself even with Denise, its not something im comfortable with and prefer to talk online, she knows this and understands. When she went on vacation i had no choice but to push away my little fear and call her up. I wouldnt give him such a hard time about it, when hes ready and willing he will do it but dont force it

[Swederica]

Are you sure he was active at the computer all day?
I forgot to turn my stuff off and i was away for 8 hrs :P

[Bluestars]

Regardless of whether he is uncomfortable, I think you need to hear his voice. Instant messaging is completely different than talking on the phone--which I believe is more personal and let's you get to know the person on a more intimate level. My SO was nervous about talking on the phone at first as well, but eventually he got over it.

Maybe you could ask him why he is so nervous, and you could try doing things to ease him into it--like have some questions you could ask one another so that he wouldn't have to worry about making conversation.

[Caity]

My guy was really nervous to talk to me for the first time. He'd get all shy and then say he had a sore throat or a headache and didn't want to talk. We talked using headphones over msn. We started off small, mostly me talking until he was more comfortable and he got more used to it and now he has no problem at all. Just give your SO some time to see if you can work something out. =)

[ProjektPooh]

I remember when me and my SO first talked on the phone, it was kind of weird.
In fact, the first thing he told me was that I sounded like his mother lol.
We worked past the nervous feelings, and talk on the phone all the time now.
My best friend actually convinced him to do it.
If you have to, maybe you could send him a voice clip of your voice?
I know there are websites where you can record your voice and send them. So maybe he just needs to hear your voice first, and that will help reassure him and take some pressure off from calling you.
Best of luck!

[agentholli]

It took my bf 9 months to talk to me on the phone. it felt like forever but it was amazing. We have talked everyday on the phone since then Be patient, he will do it when he is ready