I am trying to come to terms with the fact that my S/O and I have different expression/communication approaches. We have been together for 2 years and he has gotten a lot better at expressing himself and communicating with me, but I am feeling impatient and frustrated that he is often silent and 'doesn't know what to say'. I feel that expressing and communicating are important factors of a LDR and I feel like I am always asking him "what are you feeling?" "what are you thinking?" "what's going on with you?" "whats your opinion on this situation?" I wish he would just naturally tell me these things, and I feel like I may get annoying when I ask him. How have you come to terms with accepting and embracing that there will always be communication differences?
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I have to say at the start I had the same problems with my bf because he wasn't very expressive lol the only thing I can say is to tell your SO about this and ask them to be more open with how they are feeling or to attempt on you behalf to communicate with you a little better. He has put in the effort and has gotten and I appreciate his trying to become better at it. All I can say is that it takes time and patience, but I recommend what is best is to just tell your SO how you are feeling and pretty much what you just said in this thread
Though my only advice is try to be understanding of your SO if they say " it's hard to express myself " or something along those lines because like I have had to learn...we don't always see things the same way (especially men and women) and that is something both people have to work on Hope this helps!
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I have the communication problem, actually. My Hattie knows it and will often ask me how my day was or how I'm feeling to get me to let him know if something's wrong because I'm so used to not talking about myself or indulging my problems. I have to prod back here and there, but he's a lot more open verbally and affectionately, text-wise since we haven't met IRL yet. I don't know if he's come to terms/accepted my very odd way of communicating, but I haven't. It's genuinely frustrating when you can't actually SAY "I love you" and not have it sound like you're making fun of your SO. I've had a less than charming life so my way of handling grave or serious matters is through humor and sarcasm. So when it comes to being serious, I fail verbally. He asks me if we'll be together always, I automatically respond with "well what do you think?" when I wanted to just say "Yes."
Many things could factor why people communicate (or don't) the way they do but if you gently coax them from their shell, eventually things will get easier. It's just a matter of finding a way to be supportive of them and not let your aggravation or impatience gnaw away at you, which is easier said than done, believe me. Ask the questions, but maybe ask him to tell you when he thinks you're being annoying or prying too much. That way you know. He may not say it and silently grit his teeth, but you can't help that.Comment
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