Boyfriend attempted suicide :(

[Vonsever]

I got the call yesterday from his brother that my SO had been drinking with his best friend while being on his painkillers and various other medications (he got into a bad car accident a few months ago) knowing that he cannot do that and was in the hospital.


A few days prior to this he was telling me that he was feeling really depressed and stressed out about everything that was going on with him. He's a musician and an artist and he gets zero privacy due to fans and such. and while he loves making music he was telling me that the lifestyle is really getting to him and he needs to get away from it as soon as he's healed up and able to come be with me. People are always coming up to him and sending him gifts and writing about him, etc. One time while we were talking on the phone a group of girls just rushed over to him asking for pictures and stuff. He has a ton of art interviews going on right now that are really stressing him out because they're pretty big companies, as well as interviews for art colleges, etc. He also found out that his best friend, who is like the only person he really considers a true friend, has stage 3 cancer and didn't tell him about it. and plus, being unable to walk around on his own from the accident has him really upset as well, as well as a bunch of other things going on with him.

I can understand why he is upset and I didn't really take it seriously when he told me that he was feeling this way, I just told him people care about him.

After talking to his brother and finding out that he did that I am really worried about him. I don't have the funds to get to him right now and I don't know what to do. I'm not upset with him just worried about him.

Can anyone offer some advice for the situation?

[Tanja]

Being in the spotlight all the time can really take it's toll on you. And finding out about his friend must've been a big blow. I can't imagine how worried you must be. I know I would be going crazy if my SO did this and I couldn't go see him

If he's famous (is he rich?) couldn't he pay for your flights? Surely he would want you there with him. It would help him see there's people who care and love him and that he's got every reason to live.

[MissButterfly]

Well, I don't really know what to say, I'm always afraid to give the wrong or bad advices... I just want to say that this is a terrible situation for him and for you, and I wish you all the strength of the world. I'll keep you both in my thoughts!
I've been there once, and so has my SO (quite some time before we even knew each other though), so I know what it feels like. The only thing you can do is be there for him. Make him feel safe and comfortable, even if you can't be physically with him. Don't force him to talk about it, he probably needs a lot of time to deal with what he tried to do. In the beginning it can be really hard, he might even feel guilty about it towards you and his family. Just stay strong and be supportive, that's all I can say. At least now the people around him know it too and he can get professional help (which he should...).
Again, I'm really sorry that you have to go through such a difficult time, hugs!

[Vonsever]

His brother offered to fly me out for a week to be with him, I told him I was fine with that.

I spoke to my SO briefly today before he fell back asleep and we discussed professional help as an option, he seemed somewhat open to the idea. I want him to do whatever will make him feel better. I'm so heartbroken over this situation

-hugs to you both-

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I don't know how to help, but I can relate. I attempted suicide a few months ago. I don't generally talk about this, but it is something I feel I should speak about here today. I am so glad to be alive today and that my attempt failed. I look back and I think that is really the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life. My SO was so scared for me and he didn't know what to do. I'd say the best thing you can do is just let him know you're there for him. My SO reassured me constantly that I was worth it and that he couldn't live without me. He told me he was always there and if I ever felt like that again, to talk to him. Also, I am now on antidepressants. I would definitely recommend he look into professional help. *hugs*

[efish1042]

This will sounds insensitive. I know it did when it was said to me when I was depressed and suicidal. However... it really is true.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

There are several forums here with advice on dealing with depression and stress as well as a million articles, resources, and counselors out there to help. He will need your full support to get through this and you will likely be just as confused as him. Does he want to talk or not? Should I leave him be or cuddle? Things of that nature. Just don't let it get you down or else the situation will only be two-fold.

Happiness is a chemical operation of the brain. Raise endorphins with exercise, laughter, vitamins D and C (sunlight!). Drugs and alcohol only make the situation worse as they inhibit these chemical pathways that lead to happiness (or if they open them, they make it harder for them to occur naturally). Make sure he knows that life is worth living. For you, himself, his family, his music... encourage him to talk to express himself through his music. Much of the best mucis out there has been produced by depressed musicians. Artists tend to lead a sad life. But you know what they say about lemons and lemonade.

As my mother says, "When the great big elephant of life backs up and takes a ten ton poo on you, you have two choices. Either wallow in it and be stinky or stick a rose bush in it and grow something beautiful."

Good luck.

[Amy:x]

Oh my goodness! Thats terrible, poor guy!! I hope you are all okay and get through the troubles x

[Sharon Q]

-Gives big hug- I know what you are going through is rough. I don't have much to say, I've been there, So has my SO he even thought about it when I was with him before we became LD. The only thing that seemed to snap him out of it was my being afraid of losing him that way. If he left me, I could cope with that... if he committed suicide I don't think I could cope with that at all. It would kill me inside. Once I revealed this to him and we talked more, I tried to help him, He went through a lot of changes having to move out of his dad's, us becoming LD, and a lot more stuff as well.

Recently he's been doing better. I dont want to be too drab with this or put his personal business out there, but my point is it got better. He got help and is doing a lot better.

Theres a lot of free online counseling sites as well as the suicide provention hot line, you can just call to talk to someone, you don't have to be suicidal, like if he's upset he can just call and talk to someone. It helps, I've used it several times.