Physical Relationship?

[hope92]

My boyfriend and I became separated by distance 3 into our relationship. I have always thought that what we shared was inexplicably...different. We are both introverts, but we share a passion for one another that is usually felt rather than spoken. We are compatible, similar people. We want the same things out of life, and I could not see myself with anyone else. We both feel as though we have known each other for much longer than we really have. But to say I was not worried about having lackluster conversations over Skype would be a lie. And I made that known before we went our separate ways for the summer. It was a very honest and open conversation. We actually cried together, which made me feel closer to him than I have ever felt to anyone else, ever.

But ever since our LDR began, I have felt so distant from him. He works 10-13 hours a day, sometimes starting out as early as 5 a.m. The only time we really have to talk is right before he goes to bed. Consequently, he's exhausted, and I would consider myself to be the shyer of the two of us. We're probably having similar conversations to those that we have when we are together. But there's just something so much more comfortable about us talking on a couch, holding each other close. I don't mind the silences when we are together.

Also when we are together (this held especially true on his first visit a few weekends ago), we have a very intense physical side to our relationship. We have not yet had sex, but we have done everything else. But, even in the beginning of our relationship, we just never flirt. And being away from him honestly just makes me want him more. Like, want want. I kind of just want to say it, but I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable, and I don't want to torture the guy since it will still be a little while before we see each other again. We never even mention wanting to kiss, or touch, or even hold one another over Skype or phone or text or anything. This whole LDR thing makes me feel like we're just friends who say "I love you" once a day, and compliment each other. But then the fact that I really want him makes me think that maybe we just have a purely physical relationship? When talking about our next visit, he was trying to plan a bunch of activities. Is it bad that more than anything else, I just want to get intimate with him, and feel that passion again?

What are your thoughts?

[Kiyama]

I think it's a problem most of us share so stay strong and don't dwell on it too much.

Maybe you should explore Skype a bit more. It's a great way to stay intimate despite the distance. of course it can be difficult during the week, especially if he's exhausted because of his job but maybe at the weekend you can take more time and have a proper Skype date? It'll give you something to look forward to when it's a rough week and you don't get to talk much.

[aomnomnom]

I havent met my SO in person yet but i feel extremely close and comfortable with him emotionally and physically. I dont think it will be a torture if you have cyber sex. As you have said you have done everything else besides sex so why do you have to be shy to initiate sex talk? It's not lame but rather fun to be on skype and have a little sexy time when you are away from eachother. My SO is not a kind of guy who would masturbate to porn either, so, he waited until im on skype with him and its like one of the things we do and share you know?

[Zephii]

1) There's nothing wrong with you.
2) I know I sound like a lemon, but close your eyes when you talk to him. It helps feel less like he's not there. A good sense of "make believe" makes LDR so much less painful.
3) Tell him you want him. You're not torturing him. He probably really needs to hear it and feels the same way, but doesn't want you to think he's sleazy. You don't even need to blurt it out and embarrass yourself. Just like, speak softly and say "I wish I could express how badly I want you right now" you can clarify "physically" if you think he's not getting your drift.
4) Phone/skype sex isn't all just touching yourself and saying "imagine my nipple growing hard in your mouth" - actually it can be a lot more than that, and just as intimate, soft and bonding as "making love" type regular sex. Don't let stereotypes scare you away from opening up.

[Honeypie]

Be open, be honest about your feelings ..... he might be feeling the same way & like you just doesn't know how to say it .... most of all have fun