Do you have a time limit to closing the distance?

[lucybelle]

I told my SO I had a 3 year max. We closed the distance at about 2 years. He knew that if he had waited much longer, we would have went our separate ways.

[Spriteling]

3-4 more years. When I finish my PhD, I will move to whatever city she's in, or at the very least somewhere close enough that if we life halfway, each of us could commute. That's non-negotiable for us. It may be tricky for me to get a postdoc wherever she's going to get her PhD, but we plan on her doing a PhD in a city that has multiple unis.

[princessmeg1328]

When we first started dating, we had not idea when we were going to close the distance. It wasn't something we discussed very often since we were still getting to know each other. Now that we're engaged and getting married in November, we're hoping to close the distance in January. It all depends on when I get my visa. We're hoping I can be there in time for my birthday (in February). We'll have been long distance for a total of 2 years and a few months.

[lala]

me and my SO met eachother last year and were 3 months CD..then I had to return back home and we didn't know what would happen then..cause living on two different continents and being busy with school and work let us doubt that it would work..so we didn't make any plans.. well it happened a lot last year and we both want to see eachother and want to be together.I hope that we can make a decision this summer or at least talk about the future. I wouldn't close the distance if I wasn't sure that it's he I want to be and spend my life with. Moreover, it's a big risk for me to move,cause I would leave everything that's important to me plus I wouldn't be able to work in my profession. If we wait till we both have our work/graduation..it would take us 2,5-3 more years and we would be around 27.. but I'm not sure if I can go on for so long with just seeing eachother once a year (f we're lucky). And on the other side I don't want to lose him..

[Sora1101]

seeing as how I've already been LD for close to 3 years I'd probably only last another 2-3 years. I'd like to say I could wait forever but I'm young and I don't want to spend my life waiting for something that's never going to happen.

[Sierra]

My boyfriend and I did have a time limit on our relationship and having to close the distance. We are both adults and should have been able to make this change one way or another. I would say that I was unhappy at my job and knew that after a certain amount of time I would be leaving and that would create a window for me to close the distance if I moved to him.

We picked 18 months as our time limit and it worked out well. I am going back to school and that is a positive change that came with me moving as well.

That being said I do not think a time limit is appropriate for every relationship. My boyfriend is 30 and I'm 28. I think you both need to be at a certain point in your lives to make a time limit work.

[dukes2011]

That being said I do not think a time limit is appropriate for every relationship. My boyfriend is 30 and I'm 28. I think you both need to be at a certain point in your lives to make a time limit work.

Completely agree with you, Sierra!

[Snowlilly]

When we first started dating, we had not idea when we were going to close the distance. It wasn't something we discussed very often since we were still getting to know each other. Now that we're engaged and getting married in November, we're hoping to close the distance in January. It all depends on when I get my visa. We're hoping I can be there in time for my birthday (in February). We'll have been long distance for a total of 2 years and a few months.

I noticed one of you is in the US. Have you checked into the K1 fiance visa, because for some reason it appears that it is easier to come over to the US with that one before you marry, then if you marry and then apply for a visa. For some reason the US frowns on the marriage thing first and tends to scrutinize those visa much harder as they are looking for the "fake" marriages. Just a thought. Friend of ours did the K1 and it went pretty smoothly. Have heard more horror stories on the ones that did the marriage first.

[enemey96]

Well we were hoping to be able to close the distance this summer, well we wouldn't have been living together, but we'd have been living in the same area and would have been able to possibly even go to the same college. But my Mum was completely against it as it would mean living with my Dad & step mum. But the decision will be made final tomorrow when I find out whether I got into college here or not - that was kind of the deal I made with my Mum.
So now we've decided that presuming I get into college here, I will stay here for 3, or possibly even 2 if I can finish it that quick, years and he will go to college there and then will start his first year of university, and then once I finish college here I will move over and live with him.
I'm willing to wait as long as it takes, but I would much rather that I finish college here in 2 years and then get to live with my SO 1 year sooner

[TwoThree]

One year from now, more or less (which means after four and a half years of being together). Nothing is set in stone, though. It could be three months from now if I were willling to rush things, cut a few corners and burn a few bridges, but I don't think that would be wise. My SO and I never set a limit for us to close the distance, though. We know it's going to be difficult and we're both willing to give us as much time as needed to do things right. If it takes another three years instead of one, we'll take it.

[Shepard-Fowkes]

At this stage in our lives, all we can do is have general ideas for closing the distance. I mean, we're too young to be able to say, "If jobs or school don't bring us together by X time, then we'll just get married to close the distance." Unless the time limit is like ridiculously long, but even then I wouldn't want to have one. Considering we're international and young, any time limit we would have would have to be very long and very, very loose. There's just too many variables to set a hard and fast limit: immigration, building careers, moving out on our own, getting or finishing an education. With each plan we have for closing the distance, there's a bunch of things that all have to work at the same time. A time limit would just be unrealistic.

[charly]

Well, I would love to have a sort of set date, but my SO just refuses to look that far in the distance. I start university after summer, so I'm stuck here for about 3 years or more (unless I complete my bachelor somewhere else ofcourse). I'm not sure I can go 3 more years of long distance, it takes just too much of me. We 'survived' a year now, and time will just past further, but I would love to have a sort of date. I know my SO is planning on doing some sort of exam to end this year (his last year of bachelor) earlier, and he hinted on coming to Holland. But yeah, to vague to actually hope for something now.

[lademoiselle]

I'd say between 3 and 4 years from now. I'll have to stay in London for at least 3 years while I complete my degree, then I'm willing to go the distance for one more year after that. We've already been LD for almost 2 years now; while I'm not delighted by the idea of being separated for 3-4 more, I think we can manage it.

[lonelyinlove]

We've been togethet almost 4 years & most of it's been LD. We never really had a time limit except that we wanted it to end, But now Im at the point where if it doesn't end by sometime next year, I can't do it anymore.... : /

[Moon]

Nope, no time limit for us. We've been in this relationship for a bit over three years, and it works for us. We both have too much going on for now for either of us to make the move, and life throws too many curveballs to plan so far ahead, so both of us are both satisfied and grateful for what we do have in each other We'll close the distance eventually, when the time is right, but we don't stress about it much.