Brand new to LDR! Plz Help!

[QKnee]

I'm brand new to this and I need help!!

I'm from the Chicago area and my girlfriend left for San Diego yesterday morning... and I'm already going crazy! I already miss her so much! Please tell me it will get better because I don't see how I can go on like this. I think about her literally all the time. I know that nowadays it'll be easy to stay in touch, but there's still that physical barrier. I'm used to her living 7 blocks away, not 2000 miles. I'm used to waking up with her at my side every morning, smelling her hair, feeling her soft skin, kissing her beautiful lips. It's just not the same interacting with her solely through computers and phones. We both cried so much when she left yesterday and that feeling hasn't left me. It feels not just like she's been torn away from me, but like part of myself has been torn out. We also have no set time for closing the distance, which is making me worried that the distance will be too much and we won't be able to hang on, and that I'll lose her. Did anyone else go through this when they or their SO left for the first time? What can I do to make it better?

[Jgui]

Welcome to the LFAD community! You'll find plenty of support here which may help you get through your struggles.

Being CD then to LDR can be tough, I haven't experienced it firsthand, but can imagine the pain one goes through as their SO leaves. As far as easing the pain, keep yourself busy all the time, hang out with friends, start a new hobby, basically anything that will help keep your mind off the distance. It does get easier overtime and the distance is tough, but it isn't impossible.

As you've mentioned, with technologies these days makes it easier to stay in contact. Email, text, call, and skype -often- to stay connected. Go on "dates" with each other, watch a movie and/or eat together, try and do the things you both would normally do, but via skype.

Best of luck and hang in there!

[littleblue]

Being completely honest, I cried for about 2 weeks when my SO left. If I wasn't crying, I was in public! We'd already been together for a year, and the first week or two is definitely the hardest. My SO was supposed to be away for 3 months and so far its been 8, so I know how you feel in regards to not having an end date.

If you can, plan to visit each other as often as you can, and make sure you communicate often. It makes the time in-between a lot more bearable if you have something to look forward to, even if its just a phone call.

Everyone will tell you to keep busy and it really is the best advice. I used to not want to do anything in case I missed a call from my SO, but you don't even notice the time if you distract yourself.

[Kiyama]

The first time is the hardest. I cried for a whole week and was in sort of a delirium for another 2. Then my new job started and I finally got my thought off things and a focus back on my life.
Take your time to grief. We all go through that but it won't last forever. Keep yourself busy with work, go out with friends and maybe take up a new hobby. And eventually you'll get used to being apart.
Try and work in your communication from the start. Set aside time when you talk, maybe have a date night (Skype!) nice a week to stay connected. It isn't always easy but A ldr can work, even when you can't be sure when you'll be able to close the distance. I know the insecurity. It's always easier to be able to focus on a final closing date but with even when you don't have it, its possible to make it work
My SO and I don't have a final closing date. We have the hope to be together in about a year from now but it depends on jobs and visas so we can't know for sure...
Also, lfad is a great place to find support by the way.

[Zephii]

I don't think it gets easier, but you do get better at it. The pain will be less fresh with time. You can do it. It will be worth it and then you'll have an amazing story to tell your kids when they are growing up.
I find planning sweet surprises is always the best way to distract myself from the distance - because it feels more like I'm taking advantage of him being out of the house than filling in time til we talk again.

[QKnee]

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I've also been having trouble sleeping so I'm dragging through the day at work. Sleeping alone doesn't really bother me per se, but I still miss her a lot at night so it makes it hard to sleep. It's hard to distract myself with other thoughts and activities in the middle of the night, so that's the hardest time for me.