As some of you may recall, my last post here was after a terrible visit in which my (now ex) SO showed a completely different side to me. I came back home close to 6 weeks ago and have heard nothing from him. I was in contact with both his Mom and Aunt who said they didn't know what could possibly explain his behavior, or what he thought in terms of our relationship. I was left with so many questions and feel like I have tortured myself trying to figure out what happened.
Last night, I figured enough time had passed and I really needed to know what was going on. I called him thinking he wouldn't even answer as he has never been able to keep a phone consistently....to my surprise, he picked up. I was startled, but we slowly began talking (very awkwardly). I told him so much time had passed and we hadn't been in communication like I thought we would...he agrees and said, yes, a lot of time had passed and that he had been waiting for my call. He then tells me straight out- "la distancia mató todo"- "the distance killed everything". I was in shock, just without words for a moment as this is someone who previously told me they would always wait for me, we would get thru the distance, he was madly in love with me, etc. And now this? I just said it killed it for him, but not for me and that I had every intention to keep up my effort (well, before all of this). He then apologizes over and over again...I got angry and asked him why he didn't tell me he felt this way before I came to visit? I was furious just thinking about all the money I spent and how embarrassed I felt in front of his family. He just keeps apologizing then tells me I'll find someone else who deserves me (ouch). I asked him if he cheated on me and he said no (I figured why so much apologizing if he didn't do something?)...he then tells me to call him back tomorrow morning. I said no, we were going to talk now...and then the phone cut off. I don't know if he hung up or the phone died or what. I smoked a cigarette (my first in years), cried, and then called his Aunt and told her that I finally had gotten my answer. Suddenly, his behavior during that visit all made sense...he had made up his mind even before I came, but didn't have the courage to tell me while I was there.
So, that is the closure I had been hoping for. A 5-minute phone call in which I basically saw what a coward he was. I can't drive myself crazy wondering what happened. All I know is I have to move on.
Last night, I figured enough time had passed and I really needed to know what was going on. I called him thinking he wouldn't even answer as he has never been able to keep a phone consistently....to my surprise, he picked up. I was startled, but we slowly began talking (very awkwardly). I told him so much time had passed and we hadn't been in communication like I thought we would...he agrees and said, yes, a lot of time had passed and that he had been waiting for my call. He then tells me straight out- "la distancia mató todo"- "the distance killed everything". I was in shock, just without words for a moment as this is someone who previously told me they would always wait for me, we would get thru the distance, he was madly in love with me, etc. And now this? I just said it killed it for him, but not for me and that I had every intention to keep up my effort (well, before all of this). He then apologizes over and over again...I got angry and asked him why he didn't tell me he felt this way before I came to visit? I was furious just thinking about all the money I spent and how embarrassed I felt in front of his family. He just keeps apologizing then tells me I'll find someone else who deserves me (ouch). I asked him if he cheated on me and he said no (I figured why so much apologizing if he didn't do something?)...he then tells me to call him back tomorrow morning. I said no, we were going to talk now...and then the phone cut off. I don't know if he hung up or the phone died or what. I smoked a cigarette (my first in years), cried, and then called his Aunt and told her that I finally had gotten my answer. Suddenly, his behavior during that visit all made sense...he had made up his mind even before I came, but didn't have the courage to tell me while I was there.
So, that is the closure I had been hoping for. A 5-minute phone call in which I basically saw what a coward he was. I can't drive myself crazy wondering what happened. All I know is I have to move on.
at least you got your answer. Waiting and not knowing what's going on and expecting the worst can drain everything out of you eventually. He's really a coward for not telling you much sooner. I hope you'll be able to move on soon *hugs*
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