Talking makes me feel...

[hope92]

So my long distance boyfriend just visited me over the weekend, and of course I'm feeling the post-visit blues. We have only texted since he left, but for some reason, talking to him from a distance (especially right after a visit) gets me really down. He's not the greatest texter, so sometimes the tone of his texts, and the time he takes to repsond frustrate me. Is this normal? We had the BEST weekend ever, and I love him to death, but sometimes I just wish we could go without talking between visits. Then again...we only see each other every 3-5 weeks, so that would be near impossible, and I know I would hate it. I think I'm just anxious for us to close the distance in approximately 5 weeks.....

[AliDance]

I know exactly how you feel! I had a visit over the long weekend, and I've felt the same way lately- almost wishing we could go without talking because it's hard.( My SO is also a weird text-er) I've just been trying to remind myself that there will be another visit, and the less I think about it the faster it will come! I have to wait 6 -7 weeks between visits, and I'm somehow getting by so I know you can, too ! Maybe just try to keep reminding yourself that it's only 5 weeks and the distance won't be there any longer...all you have to do is get through 5 weeks!

[Sora1101]

Be glad that you get to see your SO every 3-5 weeks, and if you feel like his texting skills need improving you should talk to him about it, just bring it up casually, although do so over the phone or skype or whatever so he doesn't misinterpret your "tone" through text. Nothing will change unless you talk about it, how would your SO know that his texts/time it takes him to reply bothers you unless you talked to him about it? But don't worry it's totally normal to be upset when it comes to communication after a visit, you're used to instant replies and smiles and being able to read his body language and then all of the sudden you're stuck with crappy messages, it's totally understandable.

[Zephii]

I know how you feel too.

When we went long distance again for two months last year I got home to Australia and we both admitted we'd rather just not bother talking to each other. It hurt too much. It was unsatisfying. And if felt like a step back rather than the step forward it really was. And we knew we'd close the distance as soon as his visa came through, and that wouldn't be more than 3-4 months because we had a set date for the wedding... we could have gone without talking and just.. let it pause.

But we both agreed that it probably wasn't healthy for the relationship. So we made the effort regardless.

From the sounds of your post though, you're not actually talking, you're just texting. Maybe your problems would solve themselves if you found a different primary mode of communication? Some people just suck at texting. Congrats on closing the distance in 5 weeks

[SquishyLove]

I guess I'm a huge oddball in that I always wanted to communicate as soon as possible when returning from a visit. He did as well. It comforted me to talk to him after the separation and he said it comforted him as well. I guess I can't get enough of him.

[digitalfever]

I guess I'm a huge oddball in that I always wanted to communicate as soon as possible when returning from a visit. He did as well. It comforted me to talk to him after the separation and he said it comforted him as well. I guess I can't get enough of him.

I agree. I love talking and keeping in contact it keeps my spirits high!

[lademoiselle]

I can empathise. Both my SO and I find it quite hard to talk to each other after a visit; not being able to chat face to face feels so unreal and painful after having spent time together offline. Once the first couple of days have passed though we settle back into a routine, and by the time we're planning our next trip everything feels much better. Luckily you guys can see one another fairly frequently, so you don't have to wait too long until the next date rolls around - plus this time you'll be closing the distance! Concentrate on that, and keep your lines of communication open, because not speaking to each other will hurt more than making an effort to do so.

ETA: I agree with Zephii that perhaps another medium of communication would be more effective. I know I wouldn't be happy with texting alone, it seems too remote for me and my SO isn't great at it

[hope92]

We do Skype or talk on the phone once or twice a week, but that's about all that his schedule can handle since he works 10-12 hours a day, and has to wake up between 4 and 6 am. When I'm in a good mood and have other things going on, I enjoy the communication, because there's more to discuss. I guess it's just the times when he seems a lot busier than I am, or right after a visit when I'm already down, when communication is hard. Because whenever I'm upset, I tend to talk less. I know that bottling things up inside is not healthy, but I hate dumping my sadness on him. I feel like he'll think it's his fault, when in reality...it's just the situation, you know?