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Her parents are annoying >_<

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    #1

    Her parents are annoying >_<

    Basically I am visiting her on the 16th of this month (for the first time) and we are going to stay at their parent's house at the beach, but because her parents would never approve of me (or any other guy) so they don't know about us and to make it a bit more convincible, 2 of her friends will stay with us as well, but one of her friends messed something up and she is coming a day after me, so I will have to spend the night at her parents house, without being able to kiss her, cuddle up with her or anything because of her parents, so I loose another day of our already short holiday.

    And the other thing is because her other friend leaves a day earlier than the rest of us, her parents are making us stay the last 2 days of the holiday at their house, because it's closer to the airport and more convenient etc, and also their parents are spending the weekend at the beach house so basically, I wont be able to touch her, or say the things I want, on Monday, Saturday, Sunday, (next week) Monday and Tuesday and I'm really disappointed

    Well at least she is coming back with me for a week after that

    But still
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    #2
    Her parents need to get to know you. Hiding the relationship isnt going to help. Once you are here and spend some time around them - if you are on good behaviour, they will accept you. is it ideal? No. but atleast you get to see her. This is your first visit. This gives you both a chance to take things slow and not pressure each other.
    everything happens for a reason. We may never find out what that reason is/was, but there is a reason.

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      #3
      Her parents never accept anyone, they are seriously overprotective, and if we don't hide the relationship, there is no way they would let me stay at their house, she is going off to university soon so her parents won't matter in the future but this few months :/

      And we really weren't going to take things slowly :/
      But yes I will at least get to see her

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        #4
        Originally posted by fehe001 View Post
        she is going off to university soon so her parents won't matter in the future but this few months :/
        I beg to differ. I'm sure that as overprotective and annoying as they might be (If they really are then they'll have hawk eyes on you and your SO no doubt) they're still your SO's parents and I'm sure that she cares about them. If you care about your SO then I'd hope that you'd at least give a go at getting to know and accepting her parents as well because they're who are important to her. What I'm saying is that her family SHOULD matter.

        If there's a point where they still don't trust you even though you've been on your best behavior and have done absolutely nothing wrong then that's ok. Just be happy that at least you gave being friends with them a go. Don't hide the relationship because it'll be troublesome if they find out in another way.

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          #5
          It's a parents job to be protective of their kids. Saying she is heading to university soon I'd suppose you are both young, and this is understandable. I agree with what was already posted, let them get to know you, make a good impression and move forward from there. I know it's frustrating but you will understand their feelings much more when you are older and it is YOUR daughter that is having a male friend come to visit from far away.

          Sadly, the society we live in today warrants being protective of your kids. Be happy that she is protected and secure with her family and bide your time. You have a lifetime ahead of you... don't rush it away.
          Three words. Fill my racing mind. Leave me breathless. Lost in time.
          Three words. Fill my endless dreams. Repair my heart. Mend the seams.
          Three words. Fill your heart too. Three words pronounced. I love you.

          ~~~~~~

          You look in the mirror, you don't like what you see, don't believe it.
          Look in my eyes, I am the only mirror you're ever gonna need.



          Met online: 12/24/10 Met In Person: 2/24/11 Distance Closed: 4/24/11
          Not one regret, not one backwards look, only towards the future and beyond!

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            #6
            I meant that it doesn't matter if they know about us in the future because she is going to university in Milan so they can't do anything to stop us being together, but for now we have to hide our relationship for the next few months because she is still living with her parents. I obviously want to meet and get to know her parents, however I would prefer to do it after she goes off to university so we can tell them the truth, because if we tell them the truth later they will never trust me in the future and we will never get on well.

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              #7
              Just a warning, there's a good chance your ruse won't work. Parents aren't stupid, and will likely catch on to non-verbal clues that you two are more than just friends, it's incredibly easy to do. Be very careful and aware of your actions while you are there.
              Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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                #8
                Originally posted by LeilaniJoi View Post
                It's a parents job to be protective of their kids. Saying she is heading to university soon I'd suppose you are both young, and this is understandable. I agree with what was already posted, let them get to know you, make a good impression and move forward from there. I know it's frustrating but you will understand their feelings much more when you are older and it is YOUR daughter that is having a male friend come to visit from far away.

                Sadly, the society we live in today warrants being protective of your kids. Be happy that she is protected and secure with her family and bide your time. You have a lifetime ahead of you... don't rush it away.


                I have no problem with her parents being protective, but she is turning 19 now, she isn't really a child any more, they should let her do what she wants...

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                  #9
                  My mum already warned me but thank you, I will
                  Her parents already "jokingly" asked her if we are together, and when they saw me on Skype, they called her stupid and naive later on :/

                  Comment

                    #10
                    you are coming to visit from afar. Dont think her parents dont have a clue as to wether you two are together or not.
                    And "they should let her do what she wants" only applies when they arent putting the roof over her head and paying her bills. Yes, when she goes off to university, she will be free to do whatever she wants. But living under someone elses roof, means that you abide by their rules and respect their wishes.
                    My 18 year old step daughter came back to live with me after me and her father divorced. She is not in school and does not have a job. I do not allow her to have boys in her room, and I have a rule that if she cannot be home by midnite, she better find someplace else to spend the nite. because I do not need to be woken up when i have to work the next day.
                    everything happens for a reason. We may never find out what that reason is/was, but there is a reason.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by subeasley View Post
                      you are coming to visit from afar. Dont think her parents dont have a clue as to wether you two are together or not.
                      And "they should let her do what she wants" only applies when they arent putting the roof over her head and paying her bills. Yes, when she goes off to university, she will be free to do whatever she wants. But living under someone elses roof, means that you abide by their rules and respect their wishes.
                      My 18 year old step daughter came back to live with me after me and her father divorced. She is not in school and does not have a job. I do not allow her to have boys in her room, and I have a rule that if she cannot be home by midnite, she better find someplace else to spend the nite. because I do not need to be woken up when i have to work the next day.
                      Yes I agree with that, she does what they they want her to ect. However I meant that they should let her date whoever she wants without throwing insults at her continuously, unfortunately whatever she does her parents aren't happy, she finished high school with the best grades in her exam her parents simply didn't care about it, she did a Cambridge language certificate course, she finished it with the best possible grade, all her parents said 'it's no big deal, we knew you could do it", they never support with whatever choices she makes, they just call her stupid

                      Obviously your house, your rules, however controlling who she is with, is a bit over the top.

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                        #12
                        In my opinion, just go, try not to let it bother you, cos i'm betting it will probably turn out better than you expect.

                        I planned on staying with my girlfriend at her house while she was off UNI. Her mum and brother were fine and were looking forward to me visiting, but her dad was very protective of her. He wasn't sure about it, and all that stuff.
                        I went anyway, and the next morning I met her dad when he got back from work...
                        I shook his hand, and straight away thanked him for letting me stay in his home, listened to him when he spoke and was polite.
                        Literally by the end of that day he was fine with me, and actually spoke to my girlfriend and said he liked me.
                        When i left he ended up buying me a few gifts to take home which i thought was awesome.

                        Just come across polite, treat her with respect in front of her problems, and hopefully they will see you for a nice guy... (if you are nice guy) :P

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by Jango View Post
                          In my opinion, just go, try not to let it bother you, cos i'm betting it will probably turn out better than you expect.

                          I planned on staying with my girlfriend at her house while she was off UNI. Her mum and brother were fine and were looking forward to me visiting, but her dad was very protective of her. He wasn't sure about it, and all that stuff.
                          I went anyway, and the next morning I met her dad when he got back from work...
                          I shook his hand, and straight away thanked him for letting me stay in his home, listened to him when he spoke and was polite.
                          Literally by the end of that day he was fine with me, and actually spoke to my girlfriend and said he liked me.
                          When i left he ended up buying me a few gifts to take home which i thought was awesome.

                          Just come across polite, treat her with respect in front of her problems, and hopefully they will see you for a nice guy... (if you are nice guy) :P
                          Not trying to come across arrogant but I am a nice guy
                          Obviously I will do my best to get them like me, however it feels bad that we have to lie to them

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                            #14
                            The fact that her parents don't speak english doesn't help

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                              #15
                              It can be tricky.
                              I know a couple that got together at the age of 14. They lived in the same village but there was some kind of family twist so they had a secret relationship for years! Eventually though, they started to be honest about it. It was difficult at first but both families came to accept it after a while. Now, 14 years later, they are still happy. So even when I would generally suggest to be honest about relationships, sometimes it can't be helped. I could imagine it to be extremely difficult though when you actually have to act as if you're just friends and I would also be prepared that her parents will pick up on non verbal clues. Good luck!

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