Trust issues?

[dorabase93]

I've just came back home after 10 months apart from home and finally get to meet my SO. We spent the last three days together and they were great. I can see that all our hard work together from the start is now paying off. I feel really nice being with her
but it doesn't seem to last long. Yesterday she talked with one of our mutual friends (originally her friend) and she said to my SO that she likes talking to me and we (the friend and I) really suit each other (wth??). and when my SO met me I noticed that she smiled less, and I feel some worry in her. and last night she suddenly wants to be alone. After a while, I asked her and she said that she can't trust me wholly. That really hurts after all that time and all the hard work she said she was scared of other people having feelings on me. I admit that though I'm an introvert, I'm still a sociable and friendly guy. but I always keep a distance between me and other female friends and show them that I'm taken or unavailable, but she keeps telling me that she was scared. I told her that the relationship is not going to work without trust from either of us but then she told me that she trust me but still scared of other people hitting on me. Now I don't know if she really trust me or not. I always try to be faithful with my best and as long as we are in this relationship, I will not fall for another. I'm very serious about this since I was once cheated on.
I don't think what she's worried about makes any sense. How the hell do I stop other people from having feelings for me?(seriously!) if someone did I would politely refuse and focus on my SO. And I can't just be cold to my female friends just because of nonsense that she's scared of. What do you guys think about this and what should I do to get her out of this mess?

[lala]

well first of all it's cute that you try everything to make her feel better and trust you.. but have you ever done something that she feels this way? if not that it's just her insecurities and you can't do anything. She is afraid of losing you, she is afraid of all the other girls around you, but do you really need stop being friends with other girls because your SO thinks that one of them could have a crush on you?I can understand that she's afraid but she should never forbid you having female friends cause that would be sick and not a normal behaviour..and please never let anyone tell you such things.. It's just a problem she has to deal with...and in the end you should be hurt cause she can't trust you..but I don't know how long you guys are together..but maybe she needs a bit more time to see that she has nothing to worry about.

[lademoiselle]

I feel that this is an issue which your SO alone has to overcome. To have such fears is natural, but all the reassurance in the world from your partner won't convince you there's nothing to worry about until you can believe it yourself. Of course it doesn't help when people like your mutual friend (remember to watch out for the jealous ones and the troublemakers!) stir up such feelings, but if you've given your SO no reason whatsoever not to trust you, she must realise that her insecurities are within her and you can't be blamed for them.

I know it isn't easy. My SO has an ex who pops up every so often wanting to have a chat over a drink; once or twice I've let it get to me and I've taken it out on my SO. Trying to see beyond your very human feelings of doubt and envy is tough, but if you take a step back from your emotions and think about the situation, you'll often see that what you were fretting about isn't anywhere near as bad as you thought it was! My advice would be to carry on being your supportive, loving self to your SO. You can't control what other people do - so no, if another girl has feelings for you you can't change that - but you can indeed act accordingly

[digitalfever]

Your SO sounds insecure.

In any relationship we run the risk of getting hurt. Someone could have feelings for you or someone could very well have feelings for her but in the end; if neither of you are interested in the other person and only each other it really shouldn't matter. This sounds like something your SO has to work through on her own. I'm not sure if I can offer any advice that would "fix" the situation but I do know that this is something your SO needs to work through and come to terms with.

[sewbama]

You can't control what other people do or feel. You can only control you. She is worried other people will like you, but what are you supposed to do about that? Be an ass to everyone you meet? It's something she has to get over. You should reassure her that you are there for her, but don't let her get mad at you for what others do. That's completely unfair to you. Keep yourself out of situations that could be bad for your reputation or lead her to have suspicions. Other than that there aren't many things you can do.

[dorabase93]

I guess she does have to work on her own with this one. She is kinda insecure after the first year and because of the stories about infidelity all over the Internet ._. I was angry but I sympathized for her worries more. I really hate those cheating stuff so I'm quite sure I won't go out there and look for someone else as long as we're in a relationship luckily she's been feeling better now so we're trying to make another honeymoon phase thanks for your advice guys