I'm happy...but I'm terrified.

[Captivated]

So my fiance is moving here in 8 days. While I am ecstatic to get to see him again (obviously), I'm terrified about my space being invaded lol

Okay here's the thing, I live on my own, in my own house, my own castle...have for a long time now. I'm very independent, blah, blah. The only thing that was missing was finding someone to share my success and happiness with. And now I have. BUT, it's actually happening. He's moving in with me.

I guess the point of this post is this - what exactly is it like living with someone? Because as prepared as I'm trying to get, I can't, and won't I'm sure. I don't know if I'm someone who people would like to live with. And I certainly never thought I'd live with anyone. I know it's going to be tough - but I think I can cope a bit if I hear some experiences.

I'm going to miss a lot about living alone and having my own space...screaming at the top of my lungs just for the heck of it, not doing laundry until all my clothes are dirty, not washing the dishes for a week. I'm never going to sleep alone in the same bed again. AHHH! I'm terrified!! Will I be able to do this? (yeah stupid question at this stage of the game) Also - when I get home, I don't talk (obviously since I'm the only one there and my dogs, as much as they try to, don't understand what I'm saying). I like to be silent...all night. Maybe yell at the tv every now and then. But now I'll have to use my vocal chords to talk to him.

Sorry - guess I'm just panicking a bit. Anyway, for those who've been there - what are the pro's of living with someone? lol I just need reassurance, any at all. Yes, I've spoken to him about this and he tries to smooth it over as best he can. But I'd like to know more from people who've been there. Got my cons list all written out...that pros section looks pretty drab :\

[Katrina]

I'm smiling as I read this because I think what you are feeling may well just be the "pre wedding nerves" that most people go through young or old, CD or LD. Going from living as one to living as two is always going to be a big life change and we all carry some apprehension when it comes to newness and the unknown. Who says you can't let the laundry pile up or let dishes lie in the sink just because you are a couple ? I'm also sure you will have times when you talk and times when you are quiet together just as I imagine you do now from a distance.
Whats living with someone like? That's not something I think is easy to answer. You might get answers about consideration or company or lots of other things but in truth every couple is different and lives in their own way whether joined at the hip, individuals in the same space or somewhere in between.
It might help to balance the question by asking "What would it feel like to know I would never get to live with him?"
I'm warm and fuzzy to see another couple closing the distance. It helps prove to all of us it can be done. I wish you both all the very best for a long and happy future together.

[Lilly9886]

One of the things I liked a lot about living together, was doing the cooking or chores together.. also, taking showers together, just sit together in the living room, doing different things, but still being able to just get up and give my baby a little kiss, or squeeze his hand for a moment...
also I loved eating together!! when we cook together and then sit on the table and eat together, sometimes in silent, sometimes talking..
sleeping together, waking up together... make sure he's got everything for school or work.. going to the grocery store together, see what we'd like to eat and cook together!
picking him up when he get's home from work right across the street, or being picked up by him!!

that's the things that come to my mind right now.. I'll think about more!!

[Moon]

To be completely honest, after the first rush of excitement wears off...He's going to get on your nerves That's OK though, you're very used to your independent life and it's inevitable that, at times, he's going to feel like an intruder; don't worry, you'll get used to it, and to him. It'll take some adjustment and compromise, but that's normal. It's much harder when you've lived very independently, but with a little understanding and love, it'll be perfectly fine. You'll have moments when you really miss being alone, but when that happens a good walk by yourself, or a drive somewhere, helps a lot and gives you some downtime. Be realistic in your expectations and let him know you're a little nervous, if it feels like you want to chop his head off, step back and think about it for awhile, and decide if it's worth the argument.

It's nice being with the person who's right for you in the same house, it's a really good feeling, but nothing is 100% perfect all of the time. As long as you know that going it, you'll both be OK. Good luck!

[Katelyn313]

I've lived with someone once before and I completely understand the need for your own space and time. I work at night usually 1500-2300. When I get home, even though it's considered 'night-time' I don't go right to sleep! I wind down and watch TV or read. My ex had problems understanding that. He wanted me to be wherever he was, doing whatever he was (which was usually in bed sleeping). I had to explain that I wouldn't be doing that, I had to tell him my perspective. He finally gave up trying to tell me what to do

When Dylan gets home from work, he likes to relax and watch TV. I was excited when he got hom from work while I was spending the weekend with him, I was suggesting different things to do and he told me, this is what he'd like to be doing. He'd like to be sitting on the couch, watching tv and nothing else. He works construction. So to just come home and veg out is perfect.

I think the big thing here is respect. He has to respect your space and you have to respect his presence in your space. It'll be great at first and then, like Moon said...he'll get on your nerves But if you respect each other enough, it'll work out. And as you know, communicate your needs.

Best of luck and Congrats again on getting married

[Captivated]

It might help to balance the question by asking "What would it feel like to know I would never get to live with him?"

Wow that really put things in perspective.

sleeping together, waking up together... make sure he's got everything for school or work.. going to the grocery store together, see what we'd like to eat and cook together!

The grocery store! Yes, when he was here, I found that I actually loved doing that lol Thanks for your comments - guess there are things to look forward to!

To be completely honest, after the first rush of excitement wears off...He's going to get on your nerves

Lol - yes I've thought about that too. I think that's actually what I'm afraid of lol I'll need to learn to communicate what I need and have him do the same. It will definitely be a learning experience that's for sure!!

I think the big thing here is respect. He has to respect your space and you have to respect his presence in your space. It'll be great at first and then, like Moon said...he'll get on your nerves But if you respect each other enough, it'll work out. And as you know, communicate your needs.

Definitely! Thank you for sharing your experience with your ex. It really helps seeing what others have gone through. I even Googled for tips lol I'm THAT girl haha Thanks!!