Am I being too needy?

[bostonbabe]

My boyfriend and I of 1 1/2 years just entered a LDR about a week and a half ago. We have been dating since I entered college and I am used to seeing him everyday, getting texts, and falling asleep/waking up next to him. I have been having a hard time adjusting to the distance due to my own very open schedule with a lot of downtime (I work as a front desk attendant mainly at night) and his incredibly busy schedule that has him in class from 6am to nearly 7pm at night with work till pretty much till late at night. With the one hour time difference, waiting to talk to him at night for our usual agreed upon 15 minutes minimum can get pretty tough.

I understand he has a horrible schedule and is incredibly busy, but I think part of why I am so upset is because of how distant he has become. I hardly ever get texts during the day aside from a good morning text in the morning and one saying he got off class. When we do talk I seem to do all the talking and he doesnt really say much about what he has been up to or how his life in his new home is going. He justs mentions how much work he has to do. When I suggest chatting or webcamming while he works and I read or watch tv (like we did when he was here) he just stresses how much work he has to do like I would distract him or something. Combined, these two things make me very lonely during the day and feel very isolated from him. Even when he was in the same city as me on his busiest days I was used to at least some updates during the day as to how he is.

Am I wrong to push for a few updates during the day and is he being distant? He has told me that I should not be as upset as I am having him gone and that it seems a bit unhealthy, but I feel he hasn't been very supportive of the situation I have found myself in (working over the summer with very few friends around) despite how busy he is. Am I right to be this upset with him and in general?

Please let me know your thoughts!

[folclor]

A week and a half? My suggestion is to let him adjust first. He might be trying to not get too emotional about being away from you and he is busy so you may want to just wait it out. Likely as the two of you adjust it'll get a little easier. It's likely to get a little harder, first. The first week I was back in Texas from visiting my boyfriend he and I barely talked at all because he was afraid to get too close, he didn't want to feel all the emotions that come with it. It's hard to be apart and women seem to be more ready to embrace their emotions, deal, and get through with it than men do so give him some time, don't push him too much, just every once in a while say, "I'd like it if we got to webcam a little" or, "Would it bother you too much to send me a couple more texts a day?" It's less pushy and if you give him more room he'll warm up to you more. You have to take an entirely different approach from CDR.

[Rach321]

I agree with folclor- everyone deals with distance differently. I tend to get really clingy and want to talk all the time when I'm first adjusting to being apart from him, but he prefers to get back into his normal routine. It took us awhile to really understand that and make compromises so that I feel supported by him and he has the space he needs. It's not easy, but I wouldn't worry that it means anything negative about the relationship. Give it a few weeks and see if it gets better as he gets more adjusted to his new schedule and the distance. And then try to sit down and talk with him about what you need from him and vice versa. Best wishes for your LDR!