Update on our situation

[staystrong12]

Ok so we had a long talk today, and we decided to stay on the break but not be restricted at all. He just can't be in a relationship with anyone right now, he needs to focus on himself and get his life together before we can ever get back together. He agreed with me that it's not fair to make me wait around like that, 'cause it could be a year or more for all we know before he's emotionally stable enough to be in a relationship again. Same for me, I'm just too unstable right now, and we were dragging each other down. So the break is still on, we're not broken up. But he said that if I wanna date other people 'til we're ready to get back together, I'm free to 'cause that's only fair. So we changed our status on Facebook to "it's complicated."

If anyone ever does end up wanting to go out with me, I'll just let the guy know I'm not looking for anything serious...just to date around have fun, once I'm ready for that. 'Cause I don't want them to think I'm using them to pass time or that I'm gonna lead them into a relationship & then leave, you know? So I'll let 'em know the situation. I'm not ready to casually date yet, but I might be soon. We'll see. But yeah, I feel better now...'cause I've wanted to just kinda date around & have fun, but I didn't wanna cheat on him, you know? And I didn't want him to get upset about me wanting to do that...but I didn't even have to say it, he just told me that I should be free to do what I want.

And we videochatted for a few hours today and it felt nice. It was almosttt like it was when we were best friends, before we got together. It felt nice. It still felt different, in a sad way, but it was nice to still be able to laugh together and tease each other like we used to. It all still hurts, yeah...it will for a while, probably even a long time. It is heartbreaking to know that we're not exclusive anymore and won't be for a long time, but we're hoping we'll continue together later on. He's still my best friend and the love of my life...we just need time.

[Zapookie]

Good for you guys for coming to some kind of common ground - I just want you to be careful though. Is he going to hold the people you date against you if you do end up getting back together? That is one thing about going on breaks. You just have to make sure that he isn't the type of person to hold things against you (nor you him), because it may just just destroy whatever relationship you guys have left... but even still, you can't guarantee that you won't feel jealousy or that he won't either, because feelings change.

I would suggest not being together at all and being single for a while to give yourself space to breathe and think for yourself, and then down the track, if both of you are up for it, you could consider getting back together. I just think that being on a break and dating/seeing other people is going to lead into a messy situation for you. I've seen it happen too many times.

Whatever you choose though, good luck to you.

[Jgui]

I'm glad you both resolve it and is able to see things eye-to-eye. The things you both talked about are very mature and it's good because you both don't want to lead each other on.

Have some fun and relax being semi-single. Date around and just have a good time. But as Zapookie had mentioned, just make sure he isn't going to hold it against you if you two were to get back together at a later time. I would probably keep a lot of the details hush-hush..

Best of luck to you

[Jessipoo]

That's good that you guys talked it out. Hopefully this break isn't a cop out way of breaking up. I hope it works out.

[Lilly9886]

I hope you find your happiness.. but I think, maybe, that a break for you two in this stage of your life/relationship might be better and if time and you both wish for it, get together and have a relationship again after some time... when you are both ready... as for now... when you date, you should not close yourself up to the idea to find a guy that you might even fall in love with... you can still have your best friend.. but just don't close yourself up... nobody should be waiting too long for something that might not happen anymore.. who knows..

for the meantime, I wish you the best and try to enjoy your life as it is...