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Im supposed to go down to see her tomorrow but I feel like something is going on...

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    Im supposed to go down to see her tomorrow but I feel like something is going on...

    So i'm supposed to see her in 24 hours. The thing is the past couple of days she has been acting weirder than normal. For example; by 4PM today, it will mark 2 days since she has said she loved me. The thing with that is, the night before last night, we talked when it came time to get off I said, "Ok i'm gonna let you go. I love you, sweet dreams, talk to you tomorrow." (awkward pause) she says "OK sweet dreams, talk to you tomorrow..." On top of that, I was trying to start multiple conversation topics with her and she did not seem very interested at all. I also told her I was excited to see her and she did NOT seem very excited at all... Even more, I had to call her that night after she got off work when she almost ALWAYS calls me after she gets off work. It was around 12AM, I asked her if she just got off she said "no I been off for a little while." It seemed as if she had absolutely NO intention of calling me or texting me.

    Then there's yesterday...she calls on her way into work and tries to start conversation by asking "What are some 'wild things' you've wanted to do, even before you met me?" So I tell her somethings (skydive, scuba dive, and a couple of other apparently lame ideas) She responds by telling me she's just waiting for me to do something "wild." Why is this I ask, she says "i'm not going to tell you, i'm just waiting..." Then she continues on to tell me that she thinks i'm not "WILD ENOUGH" or "NEED to be more wild..." ok so what exactely does this mean... I told her straight up that I DO NOT NEED to be more wild. I'm just not a "wild" person and i'm not going to change and she needs to accept that...so then she says we'll talk later and we get off...doesn't tell me she loves me...

    Last night...She actually called me after she got off and I let the first call go through unaswered...(wrong? maybe, but she deserved it)...then we talk for about 15 minutes she says she's gonna eat and that she would "call me back later." By now I have gotten to the point where I don't care and don't believe her when she says she will do something. As I suspected, she never called back. However, much to my surprise when I woke up I got a text from her (which I have noticed she does not text anymore and I mean NO TEXTS...) it read "I'm sorry but i'm really tired so i'm going to hit the hay." That's it...once again no "I love you"

    I know she is more of a "actions speak louder than words" emotional/affectionate person. That being said she calls me everday, but what does the action of her saying she will call back and never does, say? It has started to make me wonder about things...Is she talking to someone else who is "wild" and she's comparing me to him? Is there really just a lot on her plate? What do I do and how can I address this to her (if need be)? Is it wrong of me to expect an "I love you" at lease once a day or even a heart in a text? Does it seem like she is going to dump me? For some reason (maybe it's a guy thing) I feel as if all these things that are happening are not looking good...I guess I will find out when I see her tomorrow and read her body language and if she acts differently...

    #2
    My guess is maybe she is worried about something u said or did and is pissed about it, and expecting you to know about it by sixth sense, and being mad at u when
    she should be telling u directly what the problem is. Girls sometimes think guys can read their minds and become distant as soon as they get a negative vibe about somthing that relates to the guy. I suggest u calmly ask her what it is when u meet her and make her feel at ease, and get to know whats brewing on her mind
    Good luck

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      #3
      alot of girls tend to back off when something is bothering them. Couldve been something you said or did that you didnt even realize. or it could be something she did, and isnt sure how to deal with.
      You are going to have to just ask her whats on her mind
      everything happens for a reason. We may never find out what that reason is/was, but there is a reason.

      Comment


        #4
        Sounds like you two need to talk to each other when you see her. I'd also stop with the games, she doesnt "deserve" not having her phone call answered, it's silly and pathetic.
        You say you know she's a action speaks louder than words kind of person so maybe expecting an ilove you everyday is a bit much? Really it seems you're assuming alot of things when really you need to talk to her. When you see her, body language and her actions will tell you alot but it wont tell you the reasons why she is acting a certain way or in a different way. Again the only way you'll find out is just speak to her and tell her your concerns. If hearing her say i love you or sending a heart everyday is what you want and need then jsut tell her. If she says thats not something she likes doing then either choose to accept it or dont.



        Comment


          #5
          Ah, the wonderful world of girls. Maybe she's just pmsing? Or maybe she's really being passive aggressive, in which case, I'd advise you tell her that you don't respond to that type of behaviour. If you're going to make a real relationship work, she has to tell you what's bugging her - not expect you to know what's on her mind.

          Met: November 19, 2010
          Tim came to Texas: April 27, 2011
          Made it official: April 29, 2011
          Lori went to England: September 21, 2011
          Mini trip to Paris: September 22, 2011
          Tim popped the question: September 22, 2011
          K-1 Visa approved!: May 21, 2012
          Closed the distance!: July 26, 2012
          Got married: September 22, 2012

          Comment


            #6
            Thank you all for your advice. She is a pretty passive-agressive person. She has told me before she expects me to know what she is thinking or whats on her mind, etc. etc. because of the fact that she has that ability herself with me. I'm just not the same as her in that sense and in others. We have a lot in common but I guess in the emotional/affection sense we differ greatly. She expects me to show her I love her through more "actions" rather than "words."

            As far as asking her what is on her mind, I have done so already. After the conversation we had the night before last I had asked her and she said "Nothing..." I asked if she was sure and she said "Yea..." So after the conversation I shot her a text saying "Call it a hunch but I really do think there is something on your mind or something that is bothering you. Just know that I am here for you whenever you need me." I did not expect a response and never got one but I just wanted to let her know I am here for her and she can and should talk to me about everything/anything.

            I am not sure what I should do though. Do I just sit here and be all salty and wait until I see her tomorrow to talk about this and have a serious/sour conversation or should I try to get to the bottom of this today? As it states in my relationship bio, she left me when we first dated 4 years ago and I guess I have a fear of it happening again. I just care about her so much and it hurts to think/feel like she doesn't care about me NEARLY as much.

            Comment


              #7
              I think it's best to wait until you're face to face. Sorting a problem out via text is so much more harder than doing it in person. Also if it turns into a fight then it'll make things more awkward when you do meet. Try to stay positive and don't let yourself get carried away with worry until you've talked to her and know what's going on. Best of luck!


              Comment


                #8
                Considering you're probably less than a day away now from meeting up with her, I would try to treat things as if they're okay for now, because you don't want to be meeting her if recent arguments, annoyances, etc are fresh in her mind. When you talk to her today before you leave, do the regular "I'm excited to see you" bit to get another idea of how she's feeling. Once you meet, act how you would normally act with her and judge her reactions to it. When it becomes obvious that she's bothered by something, then ask her about it, but don't start your trip off with questions about why she seems moody, you know? Try your best to ease into it if it becomes apparent...

                As Tanja said, working it out through texts is a bad idea because it is SO EASY to misinterpret how either of you is trying to say something. Tone is hard to read in texts and can easily lead to unnecessary frustration. Not only is tone an issue, but text delays as well! Never had a fight with my SO but there have been close calls where she texts me multiple messages, not really giving me adequate time to respond in between each one and we end up with a conversation that reads like this:
                SO: "Hey! How was your day? Good?"
                SO: "I've been thinking of you, am I on your mind also?"
                Me: "Not really..."

                Obviously, the "Not really" was in response to her first text, but she sent the second text right as I sent my response, and so it seems like I just told her that she's not really on my mind, lol.

                Anyway man, just try to ease into finding out what her deal is if it seems awkward. But if she seems fine when you meet her, let it be for now.
                Last edited by Jayburr; July 25, 2012, 01:30 PM.
                First met online: October 15th, 2011
                First met in-person: July 13th, 2012

                Next meeting: September 21st, 2012

                Comment


                  #9
                  Is it possible that she is just nervous about meeting you? Is this the first time you two have met in person? I know that if I was meeting my SO in person for the very first time, I'd be ridiculously nervous and maybe she doesn't even realise that she seems distant etc. You might arrive there and everything will be perfectly fine, if that happens, it was probably just nerves and that's the way she deals with it.

                  Good luck, I hope everything works out.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Jayburr View Post
                    SO: "Hey! How was your day? Good?"
                    SO: "I've been thinking of you, am I on your mind also?"
                    Me: "Not really..."

                    Obviously, the "Not really" was in response to her first text, but she sent the second text right as I sent my response, and so it seems like I just told her that she's not really on my mind, lol.
                    LOL Not to get off topic but that made me laugh out loud.

                    Met: November 19, 2010
                    Tim came to Texas: April 27, 2011
                    Made it official: April 29, 2011
                    Lori went to England: September 21, 2011
                    Mini trip to Paris: September 22, 2011
                    Tim popped the question: September 22, 2011
                    K-1 Visa approved!: May 21, 2012
                    Closed the distance!: July 26, 2012
                    Got married: September 22, 2012

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I am off topic also but, ditto what Captivated said I have had that happen before on occasion!

                      Tanja and Jayburr said everything I pretty much wanted to.


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