I think my boyfriend is lying

[Vonsever]

My boyfriend told me that he was travelling to the UK for a music related job thing and was texting me while there but I did some research online and found out that the phone service he has runs on CDMA and wouldn't work in the UK. I called the store he claims his phone is registered with to get more information and they said his phone would have to be unlocked for it to work there. First lie.

Secondly, I found this guy online who looks a lot like my boyfriend and I spoke to him and he said my boyfriend was using really old pictures of his and that he was fake.

Third. I hungout with my boyfriends friend and her friends dad has never met him in person. He says her mom has because her dad travels a lot but Idk if I can trust that...

There's just so much shady stuff going on. I talked to my friend about it and she said I should watch the movie Catfish. I haven't really spoken to him about this yet, but I think he's full of it. Any advice on how I can bring this up with him?

[kittyo9]

Don't watch Catfish. Catfish is a terrible representation of "LDRs" and part of the reason many people don't respect those who are in legitimate long-distance relationships.

I think your best and most usable evidence is the photos. Those are easy to confront him about. "Hey, I found this guy that looks like the photos you gave me. I asked him about it and he said those are his photos. Why have you been lying to me?" After that, if he confirms it, you can ask him about his trip and his phone. I do know that it isn't so difficult to unlock a phone (I literally just called T-mobile and asked them to unlock my old one when I went to Luxembourg), so I wouldn't put all my eggs in that basket just yet.

[Anna N' Luc]

Not sure what to say about all the other stuff but I will tell you that it is REALLY easy to unlock a phone for international use.

[LeilaniJoi]

Very easy to unlock a phone. Also just because his service works only on CDMA doesn't mean his phone isn't dual mode and work on CDMA/GSM. Iphone 4, for example, only works on CDMA but an Iphone 4S works on both.

<--- works for Verizon

[Vonsever]

@leilaniJoi- which Verizon phones work with duel?

[Deleted]

The strangest part is the pictures lie, but even if he'd been lying about his appereance, it is not that unusual around people who meet online. I would worry mostly about that and ask him about it as kittyo9 said.

Regarding phones, they are easy to unlock plus they often give place for misunderstandings of sorts. I'd bring it up later... you don't want to appear llike you are suddenly accusing him of plenty of lies, I suggest going step by step... and I'd start with the pictures.

[rawrimolivia]

The photos is probably the biggest ALERT especially if you've never seen him on webcam or anything or he makes excuses or whatever. I'd confront him

[Tommybat]

I think the best thing to do would be to talk to him about this, in a non-accusatory manner. Has he ever given you proof that he is who he says he is?

The phone thing sounds like an assumption to me, because there are possibilities that what you're thinking isn't true. Duel phones, he could have unlocked his phone, etc... I know for a fact that Verizon has duel phones as I use one when I travel.

The picture thing is really weird... but you should get proof from the other guy that what he's saying is true so you at least have some evidence to go off of...

[Sanney4709]

I agree with everyone else. The only thing I find strange is the pictures. You should bring it up and see what he has to say about it. Maybe ask about video chatting because that would take care of the issue.

[Zephii]

What I want to know, is what gave you that feeling that something was suspicious enough that you googled this stuff. I'm a big believer in intuition. (But sometimes its hard to separate intuition from paranoia.)

If you think he's a fake and you've known him this long, I don't know why you'd waste anymore time really. But yeah, just ask him.

[redapple]

Webcams for the win in this situation! It's not looking great but if he's not lying then a simple 5 minutes on webcam is probably for the best. If he claims that's totally impossible then ask for a pic with like 3 pens in his right hand immediately (I.e tell him to be at a desk with his laptop and camera or whatever) if he's real, easy! If not....

[FierceFoxie]

The pictures thing is really odd to me. How did you find the owner of the original photos online?

[Moon]

The mobile phone is easily explainable, there are so many ways and reasons to have a phone with those capabilities, as everyone has covered already. I'm very concerned that your postbit says you've been with this guy since 2009, and have never even seen a current picture of him, that's your red flag right there. He obviously has a phone, why can't he take a quick pic of himself and send it to you immediately? Let's face it, cams are cheap and easy, Skype and other video-enabled IM clients are free, and after that amount of time, there is no reason to not have seen him live. My guy HATES webcamming, but he'll do it occasionally to make me happy, and we've had 7 visits, so I know what he looks like.

If my poor math is right, you've invested at least 2 and a half years on this guy, I think it's time for an ultimatum (which I normally abhor, and otherwise would never recommend) that you either see him for real, or you'll have to call it quits because something just isn't right. You've spent too much time on someone who may not be what he seems. You kind of know that already, or you wouldn't be trying to track down the deal with his phone.

Before you think you can't do that, and I don't "understand", ask yourself honestly how long you're willing to wait before at least seeing him? With the technology we have today, there's just no excuse, unless of course he lives in a country where technology hasn't quite caught up yet. Good luck to you, I hope you're just being a bit paranoid, and everything turns out fine

[Vonsever]

I spoke to him about it and he explained the phone thing. He has a duel band phone, an old Motorola a840 and that's how he was able to text me while gone. He was a little upset that I called his phone company and asked for information on him... as to be expected.

He sent me a few videos his friends made for me vouching for his realness, like 6 of them and two of the people I've webcammed with so maybe I am just being paranoid and that other guy is a liar. the guy I spoke to told me those were old pics of him from when he was like 16, a friend of mine sent me his link. But maybe the guy is lying since there is so much proof that says otherwise. Even his friends mom made me a video and I've met her daughter on webcam, so maybe? My boyfriend also posted an all account salute on his facebook a little while back... idk if I should ask the other guy for proof or just believe my boyfriend.

My boyfriend was pretty upset though...

I've seen live videos of my boyfriend performing and he has tons of fans on facebook music page, but my friends told me all of that could be stolen.

[Zapookie]

Have you never personally skyped with him, though? You've seen all this video footage of him but you don't know whether it really is him or not. To be honest I don't think I could have gone 2 1/2 years without even arranging a meet with my boyfriend, let alone not having seen him on webcam yet.

I really think you should trust your gut on this one, because it's probably right. If he has pics that he has sent you, upload them to tineye.com and see if you get any results back. It will let you know whether he's just pulled them from the internet somewhere. Or you could just upload them to a site like reddit and ask if anyone has seen this man