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The awful moments

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    The awful moments

    I moved away from my SO just a few days ago. So far, it's been alright. I miss him a lot, but I'll see him soon. We talk all the time, and we've done distance before, so I'm sure we can do this. It's been hard, but I've been alright.

    Until just now. One of my cats tried to jump in my lap and somehow ended up hanging by four claws square in my chest. It hurts really bad. And I just want a hug. I want to cry on his shoulder. I need his support and care. Not only is he not here, he's asleep.

    So my question to you is this. What do you do in those extreme moments when you just need them? Not the times when you're just sad or missing them, but when something happens and you need them. When you get hurt, physically or otherwise, or when you fail at something that was important to you. Or maybe when you lose something you really cared about. What gets you through those moments when your SO's hug can't?
    Met online: Nov 2010 - Met in person: Nov 20, 2010
    Closed the distance: April 27, 2011
    Accepted to PhD program 200 miles away: March 2012
    LD again: July 24, 2012
    Left School and Closed the Distance for good: March 8, 2013
    Married: November 1, 2014
    Started job 200 miles away: February 23, 2015

    #2
    I have a Squishable penguin that I associate with my gf that I hug tight when I need her. I also have a shirt that smells like her that I'll hold at those times as well. Sometimes if I really need a physical hug, I'll ask one of my flatmates to hug me.

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      #3
      I would love to know the same thing. There are times where my boyfriend is all I want and nothing else will do. It's actually the way I feel right now I want him right here with me so I can be in his arms and listen to the sound of his heart beating. And at times I end up breaking down and crying cause I want him so badly.

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        #4
        I usually call him. I have had really bad insomnia lately because I have found not one but two huge spiders in my house. So I'm so scared I'm gonna wake up with one in my room which makes it difficult for me to sleep at night. He leaves his phone on for me it turns the volume all the way up so it will wake him up. However I don't ever call him when he has work in the morning because I feel bad about making him sleep deprived with me. On those nights I usually pop in a funny romantic comedy or read something that will take my mind off of how bad I really need him next to me to hold me while I fall asleep. I also have a stuffed animal that is a purple lemur he won me when we went to an amusement park together. I hug that when I am trying to fall asleep at night. It's never easy and it never gets easier being so far away from someone you love so much.

        "I love you and I've loved you all along and I miss you. Been far away for far too long."<3

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          #5
          there's been times where i really need him for emergencies and i dont get any response at that moment, its sooooo hard but all i can do is keep moving and pushing forward

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            #6
            Originally posted by prinzeza87 View Post
            i dont get any response at that moment, its sooooo hard but all i can do is keep moving and pushing forward
            i agree! i don't really have anything of his which i can get comfort from when im going through tough times. So the only thing i can do is to send him a text or email letting him know whats going on.. of course he can't get back to me until hours later and by then i've usually overcome whatever im going through already.

            it's very upsetting being alone when im having a rough day or bad moment. but i keep reminding myself this distance is only temporary.

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              #7
              Thank you so much for posting this. I have been feeling this way lately and it's rough because no one else understands what it's like. My two best friends have never been in a relationship and my mom and I don't get along great. So it gets really tough at times because I don't want to ruin his fun at college. But sometimes I feel like I just want a hug or just to feel him next to me. I know he's trying to make up for the distance and everything but sometimes it's just... hard. But as Jgui said the distance is temporary. I just wish he wasn't so far sometimes, especially during the hard moments.

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                #8
                Originally posted by chellypu View Post
                Thank you so much for posting this. I have been feeling this way lately and it's rough because no one else understands what it's like. My two best friends have never been in a relationship and my mom and I don't get along great. So it gets really tough at times because I don't want to ruin his fun at college. But sometimes I feel like I just want a hug or just to feel him next to me. I know he's trying to make up for the distance and everything but sometimes it's just... hard. But as Jgui said the distance is temporary. I just wish he wasn't so far sometimes, especially during the hard moments.
                i can relate, my relationship with my mom is kinnda not great too lol :P times get hard when i have only my SO and no one else even though i live with my family. I dont feeel close to them. i always talk to my bf when i m sad and i get be sad for 1-2 days in row but talkin to him helps

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                  #9
                  I can relate. My dad had a heart attack a few months ago and I sent my SO a whatsapp message. I needed him so badly but he didn't see my message until a day later. there is no advice I can give but to stay strong. As Jgui has already said ,the distance is only temporary and what is this little time compared to the rest of your life you'll have him by your side?

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                    #10
                    Like others have said ... stay strong. I'll send a txt to my SO explaining what's going on, but really even if he was "here" there are many times that he wouldn't be able to drop everything & run to me. I fell & broke my elbow a few weeks ago, hurt like h*ll & I really wanted a hug, but I got through it all on my own .... Yes I wanted him here with me but I didn't really need him .... BTW there usually isn't much that you can't get through on your own or with some help from friends.

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                      #11
                      Usually I call him, wear one of his shirts and hug my Squishable Tiger which I always think of him when I see it.

                      "Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches."

                      Like a drum, my heart never stops beating for you.

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                        #12
                        Honestly, I go sprinting until I have no energy left to feel lonely, because I'm too busy being exhausted.
                        The endorphins also do a lot to stabilise my mood.

                        P.

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                          #13
                          usually send him a text explaining whats happened, then thats it... we dont talk about the subject any further (im weird like that).

                          then when he can, he will come onto skype or facebook chat or facebook video, and pull the weirdest faces, make me laugh soooo much. even when i was depressed about his dad dying and it got abit too much, he still made me laugh :3

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                            #14
                            Keep your head up....I know it sounds cliche and difficult sometimes, but you really have to. He's probably feeling the same way you are. LDR's are difficult and there are times when he's the only person in the world that will suffice - I think all of us have been there. It's been a short while since you separated, so hopefully by now you are starting to feel better! HUGS!

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                              #15
                              if a text or a call doesn't do it...and i really need the cuddle time...i cuddle with my dogs...they are always understanding...and ready for some lovins...especially my chocolate lab...she sometimes whines at me for snuggletime...lol...

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