May be over-thinking...but need some afvice!

[AABRCL05]

I will make this a short and condensed story

My SO and I have been together almost a year and we get to see each other at least once a month- sometimes twice a month. At the beginning of the year he started talking about a bar/restraunt that he went to and he said that he enjoyed the atmosphere and he could watch sports there. I thought that it was fine and didnt give a second thought to it. Well over the past 4 months he has been going there alot and has started to become friends with all the bartenders on facebook. I dont know what but this whole situation is really starting to worry me. First I think- he doesnt have many friends there bc he got transfered there for his job; so he is just making friends (that are all girsl). Second I think- well he isnt just becoming friends with one specific bartender- he is becoming friends with all of them. Third I think- if he was trying to hide something then he wouldnt be telling me when he goes there to eat or have a beer.

He is a very straight forward person and I feel that if he were cheating on me or something he would just come straight out and say it. The way he acts towards me hasnt changed at all- we talk everyday, he tells me he loves me, and he is planning on visiting next week. So i guess I am just looking for someone else to tell me- YES YOU ARE OVER THINKING THIS WHOLE THING (bc that is what I feel I am doing). So any kind of advice would be great right now...I try to talk to my friends in my life but they dont understand how a LDR works- so I am so grateful to have all of you to talk to! THANKS

[charly]

I think you are over thinking. He is just making friends, and you definitely don't have to worry if he is still behaving the same way towards you

[tanaquil]

Hey! I don't think you're overthinking at all -- it's something rather natural to do, I think, especially with all this weird activity. I'm just wondering if you're worried about him cheating on you? Or is the bar/bartender thing something about alcoholism?

[one-more-reason]

I'm the same way. my SO has a few close female friends and I KNOW they're just friends but it still makes me twitchy when they hang out or when I see pictures of them together on facebook. I think it's pretty normal and some people are just more insecure than others! but if he's acting the same way towards you and still planning on visiting... you're probably over thinking things. my SO is like yours too, he's always telling me what he's doing and who he's with and he's very straightforward, so I hope if anything happened he would tell me. have you talked to him about your insecurities? I've talked about mine a few times and my SO always just says I'm silly and that I have nothing to worry about. :P has he ever given you a reason to doubt him? I'll bet you're overthinking it, but I'm sure asking a few questions wouldn't hurt if you are concerned.

[Sanney4709]

My SO only has one close girl friend and she is a lesbian. If I were in your shoes I would feel the exact same way. But since his behavior towards you has not changed I don't think he is cheating on you. Usually there are changes in behavior when someone is cheating even if they are small changes. All you can really do about it is talk to him about how you feel and try to trust him. Good luck!

[AABRCL05]

He has never given me any reason to doubt him. Anytime he says he is going to do something he does it, but I agree that I need to talk to him about this insecurity. He will probably tell me that I have nothing to worry about. Good thing he is coming to visit next week so I can at least talk to him face to face about it rather then over the phone. I hate over thinking things! Ugh!!