How do you know when it's time to end it?

[MissVampyxo]

Well, the fact that you are tired and you honestly don't know if you still love him should answer the question. If it's that tiring for you then be honest about it instead of staying in a relationship you aren't happy about. It will hurt your SO but it's better than stringing him along and being in a miserable relationship. Generally the way you're feeling is when you know it's time to end it.

If you still feel though that you might have feelings for him and do love him- give it more time and definitely again be honest with him. I went through the exact thing and honestly just wanted to break up with my guy..but here I am 3 months later happy and more in love with him than before! Maybe take a break to help you clear your mind!

[rebelcadet]

Myself being on the broken up category recently (it's been 2 weeks) getting dumped really hurt, but at the same time I understood his side of the argument. He just started a new job in the past month did not have time but was making such an effort to chat with me daily that I was very happy. I know I was depressed and very unhappy with myself in general because I recently had to move in with family due to the job market being bad and being let go from my job...I took my bf for granted because I was unhappy I couldn't see that I was not putting in my part...but when he told me that he had dropped hope of us being together I was sad, but at the same time a calmness came over which was very odd. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and everything was clear to me.

I honestly don't know what you will decide, but for me...I want to lead a life with my SO even if he's broken up with me. He still has me on facebook as friends. I can text him and he is civil to me although very distant. I want to change myself and show him that I am still the fearless optimistic girl that he fell in love with first 7 years ago. I just needed a clarity...when I found it he broke up with me but at the same time now I know exactly what I want to do. I want to be there in person for him everyday. Wake up next to him. TO make him breakfast in the mornings, and dinner at night. Sleep next to him and smile everyday as he walked through the door. I let go of my fixations about my career and what was stopping me from moving forward I knew the one thing I was sure about was him. Moving to him wasn't just another move, but a step towards a future...

I know enough about me and my issues (which I should update on another thread), but I know this is one thing that I want to fight for and have him believe me again. I don't want to be too late because I suck at timing...I want this and I want him. The thought of not being with him is not scary or devastating because I know I have to make myself happy, but being without him is like being without a part of myself. I want to share in his life and happiness because he adds to my happiness and life. Without him I am only 100% he just makes everything 200%.

You have to find it in you to decide...sorry its so long.

[Jessipoo]

Myself being on the broken up category recently (it's been 2 weeks) getting dumped really hurt, but at the same time I understood his side of the argument. He just started a new job in the past month did not have time but was making such an effort to chat with me daily that I was very happy. I know I was depressed and very unhappy with myself in general because I recently had to move in with family due to the job market being bad and being let go from my job...I took my bf for granted because I was unhappy I couldn't see that I was not putting in my part...but when he told me that he had dropped hope of us being together I was sad, but at the same time a calmness came over which was very odd. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and everything was clear to me.

I honestly don't know what you will decide, but for me...I want to lead a life with my SO even if he's broken up with me. He still has me on facebook as friends. I can text him and he is civil to me although very distant. I want to change myself and show him that I am still the fearless optimistic girl that he fell in love with first 7 years ago. I just needed a clarity...when I found it he broke up with me but at the same time now I know exactly what I want to do. I want to be there in person for him everyday. Wake up next to him. TO make him breakfast in the mornings, and dinner at night. Sleep next to him and smile everyday as he walked through the door. I let go of my fixations about my career and what was stopping me from moving forward I knew the one thing I was sure about was him. Moving to him wasn't just another move, but a step towards a future...

I know enough about me and my issues (which I should update on another thread), but I know this is one thing that I want to fight for and have him believe me again. I don't want to be too late because I suck at timing...I want this and I want him. The thought of not being with him is not scary or devastating because I know I have to make myself happy, but being without him is like being without a part of myself. I want to share in his life and happiness because he adds to my happiness and life. Without him I am only 100% he just makes everything 200%.

You have to find it in you to decide...sorry its so long.

I know what you mean, although he was the one that took me for granted. We were both not in a good place and pessimism and stress ate away at us, but in different ways.

He isn't civil with me though so makes it hard to reconcile.

I contemplated dating again and saw some good potentials but then every little thing that made us special and work flooded back. The dates we planned, how he held my hand, gave me little kisses, the words he said (which were completely gone 1.5 months before the BU when I started becoming more needy and frustrated), even how he dressed. Loved all of it. We learned a lot together. It's a scary thought but I feel like I may not have those things (or similar) with someone else. With my ex-SO there was no infatuation/honeymoon phase, it went into serious RS mode and stayed that way and I was happy..until I wasn't.

I contemplated ending it but would've never actually done it. It was a rough patch, unfortunately we didn't get through it together, he had too much stress and too much on his plate and so he gave up on us - on putting any effort or fighting for what we had.

[Kiyama]

The thing is, I have depressive/anxiety-ridden tendencies and I'm not sure if it's me talking or the depression talking when I say I'm miserable in the relationship.

I just think my mental condition makes me so much more sensitive and I hate it.

Be careful with making decisions then. Depression changes you. I was ready to give up the job I loved because the depression told me how miserable it made me...

Having said that I think your SO acts weird, for example with regard to not giving you his address. The whole gift thing is, I don't mean to offend you here, a it childish though. But I think you two should sit down and haves serious talk.

[Jessipoo]

Be careful with making decisions then. Depression changes you. I was ready to give up the job I loved because the depression told me how miserable it made me...

Having said that I think your SO acts weird, for example with regard to not giving you his address. The whole gift thing is, I don't mean to offend you here, a it childish though. But I think you two should sit down and haves serious talk.

Ya he's avoiding and deflecting.. my ex-SO was deflecting a lot towards the end and going back on a lot of things he said (even if it was something small like giving me his traveling schedule) so that's never a good sign. YOu even mentioned he said he doesn't want to give it to you so you won't stalk him.. I don't know your RS or your dynamic/conversations but that's a bit of an odd and disrespectful comment IMO

[tanaquil]

Oh my gosh, thank you all so much! All your posts seriously made me think over my relationship. I'm not giving any ultimatums or anything, but will try to be more reasonable and stick it out to see where it is headed. It's hard sometimes but I usually take a deep breath and give myself a moment to think.

Thank you all so very much. /: I'd bake virtual cookies for all of you. <3

I'm going to close the thread right now, but thank you all so, so, so much <3