LDRs and jobs

[Jessipoo]

even when you are super busy, don't neglect your partner. Any appreciation/love-thoughtful message can mean the world.

[EnglishMan]

even when you are super busy, don't neglect your partner. Any appreciation/love-thoughtful message can mean the world.

Oh of course, id never dream of neglecting her. Im always sending her messages on Skype and Facebook, even when I know she's out and wont be back on for a while. I'll want to be spending whatever possible free time we have talking to each other, and im hoping to find good alternative ways of communicating even when we're busy, like a message she can come back to between classes or whatever.

@ Trepis, im gunna have to look into this Whatsapp. I feel if we can manage an hour a day then we're doing well and can cover the stuff we want to. I obviously wat more than that lol, but I figure that gives us enough time to ask about each others days, how stuff is in general and to talk about us too.

Again, thanks everyone, this is really helpful

[Zephii]

I feel for you, we had a five hour time difference in my summer, and a seven hour difference in my winter. Lived for the summer! Hahaha.

You'll make time. Don't worry. When someone means that much to you - when a relationship means that much to both of you - you will find the time.

What really saved my relationship a few times were letterbooks. We each kept a diary and would write to each other almost constantly - giving us the illusion of having spoken all day - as txting was not an option that was financially viable. I'd write in my letterbook as I had breakfast, in between classes, in waiting rooms, on the train (Gods did I spend a lot of time on the train in those years!) and in bed at night. He'd write on the bus to school or work, he'd write at his friend's places when they were busy (or even let them write notes for me) sometimes he'd write as he was walking. He'd write while I was sleeping.

And then, when we had our conversations, there wouldn't be so much left unsaid. You'll find sometimes you'll hang up the skype and have that disapointed feeling because there was a bunch of things you never got to say. With a letterbook, that doesn't happen as much. Work stories, gossip, far flung future dreams are all fine if you read about them a month behind time... and well.. some naughty stories are too! Can't forget those. You can also play games together in your books, paste in pictures, fliers from events you went to, whatever. Then when you're talking you focus on the stuff that can't wait, you can have fun together instead of going over all the heavy stuff, or you can just watch each other sleep if that's all you have energy for.

You'll make it.

You might not have time together as much, but you'll still find spare time to dedicate to each other in some way. And it'll be worth it.

[Jessipoo]

What's great with Whatsapp is you can leave video and audio messages

[dglynn77]

Basically as everyone else has said, you just have to make the time!
With our time difference of 12 hours we have had to really work to find the time to talk! Both of our jobs have lots of hours, and sometimes it seems impossible. You just have to decide what you can live with, whether it is running on less sleep than you would prefer or whatever.

[rawrimolivia]

I know what you mean. I have pretty much a full time job right now and my SO is about to start a job where he is from so he can save up some money before he moves here with me. It's hard to keep in touch 24/7 when you both have things to do. Plus we have a 3 hour difference so it's hard to talk to him before he needs to go to bed. We do make sure we text on breaks or try to see each other in the morning before we both go to work. Another thing we have been doing is writing emails to each other, like LONG emails, so we both have something to read that kind of cheers us up (:

[EnglishMan]

I feel for you, we had a five hour time difference in my summer, and a seven hour difference in my winter. Lived for the summer! Hahaha.

You'll make time. Don't worry. When someone means that much to you - when a relationship means that much to both of you - you will find the time.

What really saved my relationship a few times were letterbooks. We each kept a diary and would write to each other almost constantly - giving us the illusion of having spoken all day - as txting was not an option that was financially viable. I'd write in my letterbook as I had breakfast, in between classes, in waiting rooms, on the train (Gods did I spend a lot of time on the train in those years!) and in bed at night. He'd write on the bus to school or work, he'd write at his friend's places when they were busy (or even let them write notes for me) sometimes he'd write as he was walking. He'd write while I was sleeping.

And then, when we had our conversations, there wouldn't be so much left unsaid. You'll find sometimes you'll hang up the skype and have that disapointed feeling because there was a bunch of things you never got to say. With a letterbook, that doesn't happen as much. Work stories, gossip, far flung future dreams are all fine if you read about them a month behind time... and well.. some naughty stories are too! Can't forget those. You can also play games together in your books, paste in pictures, fliers from events you went to, whatever. Then when you're talking you focus on the stuff that can't wait, you can have fun together instead of going over all the heavy stuff, or you can just watch each other sleep if that's all you have energy for.

You'll make it.

You might not have time together as much, but you'll still find spare time to dedicate to each other in some way. And it'll be worth it.

Actually that is a great idea I hadn't thought of. There's something called something like PiratePad (I think) which is a site on the internet which is just like a notepad that you can both log into and write on, so you can write to each other and what not. Might give that a try.

It's feeling even more crappy right now; I promised my girl I would be there to call her at about 10pm her time, and none of my 3 damn alarm clocks woke me up... the feeling now that ive missed her just feels awful, especially since her messages showed she waited up for a few hours for me, and I didnt miss her by long. Sucks.

[Rugger]

I've been LDR for 2 years. Majority of the time, I worked days and my boyfriend works nights. He's sleeping when I'm awake and vice-versa. He also works weekends, which means I didn't even get that. We managed. He texted at night when he was at work and sometimes called during his break. We skyped when I got home on his days off. We made it work, and now we'll be clothing the distance in another two weeks.