Dealing with jealousy and trust.

[Cricky712]

I also want to add.. that She stays up late gaming with this particular guy friend until 5 am in the morning =/ and the fact that shes sick also ? I asked her today that she should date the guy, she said hes not her type nor she wants to date him.

What gets me is. they both stay up late gaming with in each other on WoW, and i usually go to bed since i have work in the morning. She'll text me in the afternoon when she gets up. and once im off work at 5. ill get home and boom shes now playing Leagues of Legend with him.... It just bugs the hell out of me. argh....

[Cricky712]

I think everyone has a bout of the green eyed monster. It's so so hard to quell jealousy when you're far away. I used to get jealous over anyone who got to spend time with him. "Everyone gets to spend time with him except me". It's so tough, but when it comes down to dealing with "what if he's cheating" jealousy and anxiety, honestly the one thing that actually made it go away for me was realizing that I would never be able to know if he is or isn't, so I may as well just give him the benefit of the doubt. I figured if he was, I'll find out eventually, but worrying about it when there's nothing I can do won't do anything but give me ulcers. I know that's a weird way of seeing it, but that's just what helped me. Now that I live in the same city as him I can keep a closer eye on him so far so good.

I wish i was as strong as you =( im trying so hard to not assume things and have positive thoughts...

[Alemap]

OP, here's a thought; realise that you can't control her actions. Someone who is going to cheat on you will do it whether you trust them or not, and whether you are jealous and possessive or not - in fact, your being jealous and possessive is actually more likely to push them away from you, and towards someone else, than your being reasonable and giving them the space they need to lead their life.
Accept that she needs the freedom and trust to exist away from you, and that she has a right to that freedom, and that she has nothing that you're aware of to earn your distrust.
Acknowledge that your jealousy isn't about love, it's about fear and control - it's not about her, it's about you feeling insecure in the relationship but also unconfident in your own ability to be single if it doesn't work out - and do the work on nurturing your own self-esteem and confidence to let go of that need for control, and take the relationship as it comes.
If she starts behaving in a way that is objectively shady or unreasonable, then you can righteously ask her to adjust her actions to help you feel more secure. But until such a time as that happens, learn to let go, and have faith.

P.

[Ben (Bun)]

I understand where your coming from on this topic. This is my 2nd ldr but the first was different because we went to school together and were eventually married. With my new girl (who I have never met) I get jealous over stupid issues. I have never been the jealous type so it freaked me out at first. We both are natural flirts and try to avoid it but it does happen. The song she always tells me to listen to is The Only Exception by Paramore. It helps because I know that's how she truly feels. The thing you have to remember is that she's with you not him. Good luck.

[D.4C]

trust in a relationship is sooo important...unless she gives you a real reason not to trust her...you have to find a way to get past it...if she is just hanging out with guy friends..or talking to guys...there is no harm in that...my best friends are and always have been women...i guess i just relate better...and i give them hugs regularly...because i am the physical touch kind of person...but my SO has nothing to worry about....because i love her...and i make sure she knows that...jealousy is such a bad emotion...it can make you think things and feel things that aren't really there....