He wanted an open relationship...

[notyourexgirlfriend]

It would be a complete dealbreaker if my SO were to ever suggest an open relationship. I could never bring myself to do it and just the thought of it makes me all squirrely.

[Sanney4709]

It would be a complete dealbreaker if my SO were to ever suggest an open relationship. I could never bring myself to do it and just the thought of it makes me all squirrely.

I agree with the quote above.

I can't get intimate with someone that I don't have feelings for. I would worry constantly that my SO is building up feelings for another woman and will leave me all together. I just couldn't do it. That's just me personally though. However it sounds like it might of been more your SO's dad's idea rather than his own. Good luck! (:

[Malaga]

But who knows, maybe someday I'll be emotionally ready for an open relationship and we can re-evaluate it then

It's OK not to be into open relationships and it doesn't have to be because of your bad experience. Some people are up for it, others aren't and that's just how it is. Just under any circumstances, don't compromise on that.

He wouldn't have brought up his Dad's idea if he wasn't open to it himself. He was testing the waters, then withdrew it when you reacted negatively. Before you decide whether to go through with the 10 year plan (and especially if you do), you need to be sure that you share the same values on this. Because if there is one shred of doubt, those 10 years are going to be even more of a torture.

I live in a country with lots of commercial navy and a lot of men go into officers. They serve on ships 3, 6 or 9 months at a time. Then 3 months at home, then another post. And that's what they do their whole career, so 30-40 years. They get married, have families, children etc. And they live like that for 30+ years. I'm not sure I'd be able to, but lots of couples do (while staying monogamous), so it can be done.