Its starting to get tough...

[MarvinsMarie]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months now, and though we've known each other for years, throughout our relationship we've spent more time apart than together. It doesn't bother me as often as it bothers him and he's even considered taking a "break" until we're back in the same state. We attended the same college, and got together right before we graduated. Now he's in Illinois for grad school and I'm in Mississippi working. He's in this relationship with me after a bad break up and being single for a little over a year, and I've been single for a couple years. We're very much in love but he seems to have mood swings about how the distance makes him feel. It's very unsettling and sometimes I don't know what to do. I've put forth so much effort, i'm salaried at my job so i don't mind going to see him as often as I can,I'm going next week for a few days! I just get so annoyed cause i feel like i have so much in this and though I know he loves me, we're not on the save wave length it seems at times... *Shrugs* Its been driving me crazy here lately and i just feel like it's starting to get harder and harder. I'm going to use some of the activities I've found on here and see what that does. Otherwise I feel stuck right now. Just going to keep working out to keep the stress level down!!

[Katelyn313]

First, hang in there. I know I can get moody over the distance too... One day, I'll tell him, "Oh, this isn't SO bad" and the next, I'll be crying and missing him. Isn't LDR fantastic?

Second, I really think you guys need to talk. If it seems like you're not on the same wave length, you might not be! Definitely talk to him. My ex and I were rarely on the same wave length but it took me a bit to figure that out and it took me even longer to do something about it. It's no fun feeling like you're the only person working at something (I know that feeling too. I was drowning in my last relationship). But first you have to talk to him. Ask him how he feels and definitely use the whole, "I feel..." statements instead of the "You should..." ones.

Maybe even write up a list (I'm a habitual list maker) about what you want out of the relationship and where you see it going and what aspects stress you out. Nothing can be solved trying to guess at how the other is feeling.

Best of luck!! Hope that helped some... And yes, working out to keep your mind off stress works wonders!

[Jayburr]

Nothing can be solved trying to guess at how the other is feeling.

Absolutely true Katelyn.

In any relationship, it is so important to NEVER ASSUME how the other person is feeling. Never assume anything, and this is significantly more important in a LDR. You are not physically together, so communication is all you have. Katelyn made a great suggestion about using "I feel..." statements as well... The only way to get on the same wave length is to talk about it with him.

I'm going to link you a topic I made here that might help you when I was unsure how my SO felt about me. I too felt we weren't on the same "wave length" :P https://members.lovingfromadistance....e-same-page!-D

[Sanney4709]

I agree with the other two talk to him and let him know how you feel. Communication is so important. This site is also great for things to do long distance. I miss my SO so much when we aren't together. It gets so hard during school when I am busy with everything and we don't talk as much. I wish you the best of luck!

[MarvinsMarie]

Thank you all!!! Your advice helped and things have gotten much better since we last saw each other!!

"Happy and Optimistic"