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    Having nightmares?

    The advice I'm asking is not for me but for my LDR girlfriend (she's not a member of this site yet) who's been having nightmares very often about me leaving her and never coming back.
    Long story short: A few months back I was a foreign exchange student and I met her at school, we really liked each other and so we became a couple just a few months before school ended. It was clear for us that we wanted to try a LDR and so my last day with her was the 7th of July.
    We have been doing good and we are putting a lot of effort into it. We really love and trust each other. But then she started having this nightmares remembering the day I left probably a couple of weeks after I left and she has them at least 3 times a week.
    Because of this she gets afraid of sleeping or if she does get sleep, she sometimes wakes up a lot because of the nightmares. It has me worried sick and she is also starting school and so she needs the sleep. Actually I'm writing this because this morning she just had one and I realize we really need some advice/opinion of somebody else. It has been a month and a few days since I left and I'm scared she might get worse...
    Has anyone ever had this happen? if so, how did you overcome it? I know the advice we need is complicated since she has no control of it whatsoever, but any advice is greatly appreciated.

    #2
    I used to have tons of nightmares any time I managed to sleep, I also had insomnia, until my SO came along. He would talk to me until I fell asleep and then kept his phone on him all night in case I woke up and he would be right there to comfort me and make me realize it was just a bad dream. If you both have webcams I suggest going to sleep together with them on that way if she wakes up in the middle of the night she can see you're there and talk to you if need be. If you can't do that have her buy some Melatonin pills, it's a natural sleep aid that will knock her into a hopefully dreamless sleep.

    Notes:
    Met: 8.17.09
    Started Dating: 8.20.09
    First Met: 10.2.10
    Closed the Distance: 8.9.14

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      #3
      Agreed with the above. Melatonin pills are very good and are relatively natural, so you're not putting too many "bad" chemicals in your body. Herbal supplements work well also. My boyfriend's mother, apparently, takes Valerian root and it helps her have rather dreamless sleeps. Other than that, maybe tell her not to do anything too stimulating before bed? As in, try to avoid TV or loud music. A chat with her before bed helps, too ^^
      "If you get hungry enough, they say, you start eating your own heart"

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        #4
        I have been seeing bad dreams like this too, things like my boyfriend is leaving me or is breaking up with me. i get so scared and wake up, but i do not see such dreams too often. probabbly like once a week. it is frustrating. but ya i guess you should talk with her and make her feel more reassured that you are not gonna leave her no matter what. just make her fee that u re gonna be there for her always. my bf telling me such stuff frequently helped me alot and the dreams kinnda dnt get to me that often. just be loving and let her know you re gonna be there. that helps alot

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          #5
          Ditto to all the suggestions here. I'm generally a restless insomniac and get the jitter bugs badly at night. If you can make a couple of recordings for her just rambling about anything in particular which she could put on her ipod and listen to at night that could help her drift to sleep and act as a sort of security blanket. I find I'm calmer when I have him rambling in my ear as I scribble in the dark Even when he just leaves his laptop on whilst he sleeps (not necessarily on cam), if I wake up in the middle of the night and glance at the screen just knowing he's online makes it easier to fall back asleep.
          “The ties that binds us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic; Because some ties are simply… meant to be.” - Grey’s Anatomy


          >Little Box<



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