First, some background: We met for the first time this January and we had such a great time together. We were so sure that it was exactly what we wanted and, after 3 years, we could finally be sure it was worth the wait. It took me 3 years to get the visa and for that to happen, I had to get a stable job, and so I did, that's what took it so long.
After January, we'd gone through rough patches and I'd usually be the most affected negatively. It's like she can lead a relationship on her own, almost. She thinks of me dearly and hopefully and all I think about is the present: We're not either physically or emotionally together. She's got several jobs and things to do and she has no time to talk to me. I feel like she's changed a lot because of that.
Don't get me wrong, I also have my job and there are times when I can't talk to her, but I always try to be there with her, only I feel she's let go of me. She says she loves me and that I'm the only person she's trully loved. She's told her close friends and part of her family about me, us. But I don't FEEL her effort to be WITH me.
She used to miss classes to talk to me and now she doesn't anymore. And all I had to keep me going was January. Meeting annually was my only hope, and the conversation was pending for a long time. Buying an international ticket is not something you can do a day before that easily, so we needed to talk seriously about it before I could talk to my parents and inform them of this big decision.
Today I finally got the chance to talk to her and she said she was going to be completely honest and she told me she wasn't sure she could make it in January. Now upon hearing that I broke down, which didn't help me sound serious. I told her many times that if it wasn't January, I couldn't go any later and she'd have to come. As I see it, I wasn't giving her an ultimatum. I wasn't forcing her to take January, I was just being completely 100% honest because I know my job and I know what I can and cannot do when and how during a year's time and if it isn't January, I can't travel abroad, period. I am a teacher and my job respects school year: summer vacations are in January, I can't possibly stress this enough.
Now the relationship has been really sensitive for a long time now. She's taken decisions on her won, I've taken actions on my own too. But I feel like I'm the one most affected by the outcome, especially because I was making all the movement to talk (I have skype plan which can call her phone, she doesn't even have a computer) and I have the visa to go to the USA, she doesn't have a visa to come see me anymore, so I'd be the one to travel until she gets her visa (and I worked so hard for it).
I may have just wanted to vent, but I wanna hear your opinions as fellow LDRers. Have you gone through this? Have you been on wither side? I don't want people to just agree with me. Feel free to please criticize me. I try my best to be unbiased, but I'm only one person, I can't talk for her.
Thanks for reading thus far. Please post your comment, but try not to be too rude. I'm feeling really sensitive right now and this is the most private piece of information I've ever put online. I really need other views on this.
After January, we'd gone through rough patches and I'd usually be the most affected negatively. It's like she can lead a relationship on her own, almost. She thinks of me dearly and hopefully and all I think about is the present: We're not either physically or emotionally together. She's got several jobs and things to do and she has no time to talk to me. I feel like she's changed a lot because of that.
Don't get me wrong, I also have my job and there are times when I can't talk to her, but I always try to be there with her, only I feel she's let go of me. She says she loves me and that I'm the only person she's trully loved. She's told her close friends and part of her family about me, us. But I don't FEEL her effort to be WITH me.
She used to miss classes to talk to me and now she doesn't anymore. And all I had to keep me going was January. Meeting annually was my only hope, and the conversation was pending for a long time. Buying an international ticket is not something you can do a day before that easily, so we needed to talk seriously about it before I could talk to my parents and inform them of this big decision.
Today I finally got the chance to talk to her and she said she was going to be completely honest and she told me she wasn't sure she could make it in January. Now upon hearing that I broke down, which didn't help me sound serious. I told her many times that if it wasn't January, I couldn't go any later and she'd have to come. As I see it, I wasn't giving her an ultimatum. I wasn't forcing her to take January, I was just being completely 100% honest because I know my job and I know what I can and cannot do when and how during a year's time and if it isn't January, I can't travel abroad, period. I am a teacher and my job respects school year: summer vacations are in January, I can't possibly stress this enough.
Now the relationship has been really sensitive for a long time now. She's taken decisions on her won, I've taken actions on my own too. But I feel like I'm the one most affected by the outcome, especially because I was making all the movement to talk (I have skype plan which can call her phone, she doesn't even have a computer) and I have the visa to go to the USA, she doesn't have a visa to come see me anymore, so I'd be the one to travel until she gets her visa (and I worked so hard for it).
I may have just wanted to vent, but I wanna hear your opinions as fellow LDRers. Have you gone through this? Have you been on wither side? I don't want people to just agree with me. Feel free to please criticize me. I try my best to be unbiased, but I'm only one person, I can't talk for her.
Thanks for reading thus far. Please post your comment, but try not to be too rude. I'm feeling really sensitive right now and this is the most private piece of information I've ever put online. I really need other views on this.
Comment