How to deal with telling your parents...

[Black_Halloween]

My relationship is coming very close to the two year mark and I'm trying to figure out how to tell my parents. I unfortunately still live at home and they're not so accepting when it comes to even having online friends. You know, the typical "everybody online is a pedophile" and "why can't you meet somebody here" lines. Oh, my favorite one is "well how do you know he's a good guy?".

How do you deal with parents like this? I really want my boyfriend to come visit me but they're just impossible...

[EnglishMan]

My girl felt the same with hers. I knew my family would be accepting, but we were worried about how her's would react, since they're incredibly protective (which I understand, and I always assumed I would have to do a lot to show them im somebody they can trust, which I was fine with). Eventually her mum started hearing my name a lot more and asked my girl about me, and she told her. I had said to her that i'd rather we waited it out a lil and that she should let me know before she told her, but this scenario came out of the blue and she went with it. Fortunately, her parents are really happy for us and have been incredibly supportive so far

It is a huge worry though, I can understand that since I spent a while worrying about it myself! Dont just assume they'll take it badly though, and try and ease them into it. One thing my girl did was show her parents things about me that I had sent, like videos where I had rambled on to her about some random convo or something lol. I figured if they know the guy behind the name and see what he's like, they'll hopefully understand

[temporaryuser]

HONESTY!
parents are "impossible" for good reasons. One day, 20 years from now, you will understand that. we want the best for our children. we want to know that the person that they are spending time with is respectful and wouldnt do anything to hurt our "babies".
that being said, do you skype, or vieo message each other? Give them a chance to see him, talk to him, hear what he sounds like.
If you wanthim to come visit, give it some time to sink in. Dont expect them to invite him to stay in the house. And if he does come, include them in some of the activities so they can really get to know him

[Sanney4709]

I was sooo scared to tell my mom about my SO. She knew about him when I first met him online but assumed we were just friends and told me I was not to give my phone number to him. I did anyway despite her threatening to take my phone if I did. She didn't figure out I talked to him on the phone until like a year later. Then after about another year I got the nerve to ask her if he could come to my senior prom with me and she was surprisingly ok with it. She was always against me dating so I was relieved when she was alright with it. All you can really do is come clean and deal with whatever reaction you get. Your 22 so it's not like than can really tell you what to do anymore.

[Katrina]

My ten year old has just been allowed an email account for sharing "annoying orange" you tube video links with his friends. I was determined none of my kids would have email or messenger or anything until they were at least 14 but he sat me down and calmly "stated him case" and he was right.
You could quote your parents all these statistics about how many relationships start out online these days and explain that ten years from now meeting online will be as normal as meeting anywhere else.
I'm 46 and my parents were concerned about me travelling to america to meet my man the first time. Its a parent thing.
I remember leaving home at your age and saying to my mom (in a nice way) "Listen the heroines in these danielle steel books you read have been married, divorced remarried and widowed by my age I'm only moving round the corner" I think its always difficult for parents to accept children are ready to make adult choices and are even ready to make their own mistakes.
I say go ahead and tell them but sensibly and gently. Good Luck to you.

[Black_Halloween]

Should I tell her how long we've been dating? It might come as a shock to her...I know i'm old enough to date whomever I wish but when it comes to us meeting up I want him to be able to come here to meet my family. His family has known about me from the start and they love me (and I love them! ). Maybe it would be better if I went to visit his family first...I don't know

[EnglishMan]

Should I tell her how long we've been dating? It might come as a shock to her...I know i'm old enough to date whomever I wish but when it comes to us meeting up I want him to be able to come here to meet my family. His family has known about me from the start and they love me (and I love them! ). Maybe it would be better if I went to visit his family first...I don't know

You dont have to tell them every single thing in one go, it's probably better not to divulge your whole relationship the first time you speak about it.

One huge thing though is do not lie about it. You are serious about this relationship and you want them to be too, so however it goes you need to keep it truthful as lying would only instigate them further if they are skeptical. But like I said, there's no real reason to tell them a play-by-play account of how things how gone so far in the first conversation.

[sewbama]

If you're trying to prove you know him well, the time could help. Of course, the fact that you've been doing it behind their back could hurt. So you should balance the two. Decide which you think is more important, perhaps during the conversation. If they seem more worried about him being a real. good person, tell them how long. If they seem to be more concerned about you "lying" then maybe hold off on that info. I'd agree, don't lie. But there's also no reason to bring up things that you don't feel they need to know. It's your business. I think the knowing his family thing could help your credibility, too. If you can introduce him by skype, and perhaps his family at some point, too, it'll reinforce that he's a real person, not some apparition at a keyboard.

As far as who visits, your parents would probably be even more nervous about it if you were going to him for the first meeting. And it's unlikely they'd take it well if you did a huge trip like that behind their back. I think if they are having a hard time accepting him, it'd be better if they meet him as soon after you do as possible.

[Amelia]

my parents are/were exactly like that. my whole family is very judgemental...if my grandparents dont approve then uh oh bad news for me the same with my aunties and uncles. What i did was i sat down my parents and talked to them and told them all about my boyfriend. If your honest with your parents and tell them everything, hopefully they will understand. Its always good to meet the parents as well unfortunately for my boyfriend he not only met my family for the first time but also my cousins and grandparents and uncles and aunties. I think all parents want the best for their child and want them to be safe and happy if you can show them that they will be more welcoming and open to the possibility of an LDR

[Keyk]

same problem here too but I'm sure we can both do it I understand why my mom is like that though. I also already told my SO that a lot of hard, painful work might be required to have her approval and he was fine with. Planning on telling before winter here though, still not sure how I will seeing as I am not allowed to have any bf too... is that bad? but anyway I can already see it coming all the hard times at first but can also see past that when everyone is happy so just hang in there I'm sure that your parents will understand over time let them meet each other it will be hard at first but I'm sure it will be worth while in the end good luck to us!

[13000km]

I name-dropped. A lot. Talked about him like I talk about all my other friends until they came to know him as a friend. Every once in awhile I'd let them catch me on skype with him (as a friend) and turn it into an opportunity for them to say hi to each other. It didn't go too smoothly when a visit was brought up with my parents but I was working a full time job and completely in charge of my own finances. They could voice their concerns but I assured them I'd be good about keeping them updated and they eventually came around to the idea.