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Not wanting to talk to me online :(

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    Not wanting to talk to me online :(

    I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months now and when we are together everything is so amazing and I couldn't ask for anyone better. He is the sweetest guy but lately when we aren't together and it comes to having to talk online.. he is like a completely different person! I just feel like he never really wants to talk to me. He's actually said that i'm so annoying. He would rather chat to his friends that he met on tinychat than to me and whenever I try and join his tinychat convos with his friends he tells them to ban me from the room.
    I just dont understand why he is being like this, it really hurts.... is he losing interest in me?

    #2
    Have you told him how you feel? You could email him if he doesn't want to IM. Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing... However, regardless of his reasoning it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Your SO should never tell you that you're annoying (and be serious about it) and if he really loved you he wouldn't "rather chat to his friends" than you, and then ban you from the chat rooms. You need to have a very long talk with him about his behavior, and you need to personally reevaluate your relationship. Is this what you want your relationship to be like? Your priority should be making sure that you're happy.


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      #3
      Well I tried talking to him about it then he got annoyed and said I was being too clingy.
      He's never been like this before, it started about a month ago. The good thing is that we only live an hour away by plane. So we see each other quite a bit. He only just went home yesterday after being here with me for just over a week. He even cried a little when we had to say good bye but now he's back to being rude to me online..

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        #4
        Did you try talking to him about it when you were face to face? My SO hates txting but he does it every night with me for at least an hour. Your SO just sounds childish & rude, how old is he? Does he understand that in order to keep a relationship going the two of you need to communicate. Yes he needs time with his other friends & maybe he wants some chatrooms to be "girlfriend" free but he also needs to make time for you.

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          #5
          Like the other posters said you will need a very very long talk with him. If you were not able to talk to him while you were together, make sure that next time you talk to him about it. I don't want to make any conclusions since I don't know his situation. He also has the right to spend time with his other friends, but he also needs to find time for you. If your getting hurt by his rudeness, you should tell him about it because he will not change that unless you tell him. If he is all sweet with you while being together and being rude online then maybe there is a misunderstanding in your relationship. The only way to fix this and find out what really is going on is to talk to him. If he doesn't want to talk in chat rooms then maybe you can call him or talk next time he visits.

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            #6
            to be brutally honest, If my SO ever wants me blocked from a chat site when he is there talking to his friends, i would just be very pissed, he not only is disrespecting you by doing that but he is being a A** for doing that. I would directly ask him what is up with you blocking me whenever i want to go there? and not wanting to talk to you properly for a month? that is pretty crazy. I suggest you talk to him directly, and tell him he can talk to his friends alright but that you need a clear explanation for this lack of communication an blocking from the chat site
            good luck!

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              #7
              Well I tried talking to him about it then he got annoyed and said I was being too clingy.
              He's never been like this before, it started about a month ago. The good thing is that we only live an hour away by plane. So we see each other quite a bit. He only just went home yesterday after being here with me for just over a week. He even cried a little when we had to say good bye but now he's back to being rude to me online..
              You said you just got done seeing him yes? If so than talking right away may be a bit much for him emotionally.
              Is he normally rude to you online? or is it just after he sees you for some time?

              Either way its something you two should discuss. Is there another way you can talk? Maybe online isnt his thing, he could be more of a phone or texting person than an online person.

              Just talk to him and see whats going on.
              " There is always hope.
              "

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                #8
                As everyone else has said you need to have a talk with him. If he isn't treating you right you need to seriously reconsider your relationship. By the sounds of it he is emotionally abusing you. If he just started doing this I hate to say it but there is a possibility he is losing interest or he has feelings for someone else. You really need to talk to him and get answers. I'm sorry. Good luck.

                "I love you and I've loved you all along and I miss you. Been far away for far too long."<3

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                  #9
                  I have a boyfriend who isn't very talkative online. I'll send him a facebook message, and he'll reply with only a few words, but we'll talk on the phone for an hour or two every night. Do you talk to him on the phone at all? (If so, how are these talks?) Or is all your communication online?
                  Possibly he thinks that you aren't giving him enough time to himself? Ask him this. If he says he needs more time to himself, find things to keep yourself busy. My boyfriend is already in school while I'm still on summer vacation, so I am constantly trying to keep myself busy until he comes home from school and contacts me. Maybe instead of always going to him, let him come to you? My SO doesn't like to be pushed into doing things (Stubborn as a mule, but you gotta love him) and he'll contact me when he's ready and we'll have the better conversations than when he's tired and isn't really in the mood to talk. If you want this relationship to continue, you'll have to communicate with him and ask him what's going on. Tell him why you're upset (calmly) and listen to his side. If you're the only one doing something to keep the relationship going, maybe he's not the one for you. You both need to understand each other well and sometimes you just got to be patient.
                  started dating: 12/08/12
                  "i love you": 04/12/13
                  el paso: 07/24/13 - 08/05/13
                  montreal: 12/13/13 - 01/03/14
                  el paso: 01/05/14 - 01/19/14
                  montreal: 05/30/14 - 07/27/14
                  el paso: 07/27/14 - 08/18/14
                  el paso: 12/27/14 - 01/16/15
                  el paso: 06/02/15 - 08/17/15
                  san antonio: 02/04/16 - 02/08/16
                  san antonio/el paso: 06/03/16 - 06/21/16

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                    #10
                    Thanks for all the advice guys, we used to talk on the phone and it would go really well but his phone recently broke and he hasn't got it fixed yet so that kind of makes it a little harder. I think I may just give him some space for a bit then.. I'll wait till we see each other in person again then I'll have a long chat to him about all this, I think it will be useless trying to tell him all this online.
                    agian, thanks so much guys

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by rarara View Post
                      Thanks for all the advice guys, we used to talk on the phone and it would go really well but his phone recently broke and he hasn't got it fixed yet so that kind of makes it a little harder. I think I may just give him some space for a bit then.. I'll wait till we see each other in person again then I'll have a long chat to him about all this, I think it will be useless trying to tell him all this online.
                      agian, thanks so much guys
                      hope everything works out positively for you. Giving him some space for a while is a good idea, but make sure yu discuss it sooner than later, as it would create unnecessary hurt and tention for you. good luck

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