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    #1

    Struggling...

    I've been struggling with the distance a lot since I last saw my SO.
    We were together for almost a month, so we were really getting used to being with each other and everything. What didn't make it any easier was that he has been staying abroad with his Dad, and so our talking & skyping time has been rather messed up, but I've been coping with that (usually I find things like that really difficult).
    But now he has just told me that we won't be able to have any contact for 4 days. I know that for some of you 4 days is how it normally is, but for me that's a really long time. We usually talk during the day, and then a 2 hour skype call in the evening before we go to sleep. But we won't be able to do any of that and it's going to be really really difficult for me.
    I don't really know what I'm wanting to get out of posting this on here, I think it was more to vent, but any advice on what to do would be really greatly appreciated.
    No time zone or distance or anything can keep us apart
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    #2
    I know it's going to sound a litttttle bit childish, but when I can't talk to my SO for a while, I try to trick myself into getting those happy rushes that you get when you talk by treating myself. Nothing huge, just like a bar of chocolate, or a really good book, hanging out with a friend, watching a show or movie I like...

    I know it's hard, but there's not a lot you can do about it really. Just fill up the time with nice things and it'll be a hell of a lot more bearable

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      #3
      Hi sweetie, I empathize with you so much, as I just got back from a long visit with my SO as well (almost 3 months). I'm still a bit on autopilot, not really allowing myself to process that I can't wake up with him by my side tomorrow, but what's helped me thus far is really throwing myself into accomplishing things that need to get done and spending time with my family. Biddlybiddlybombop had some really good advice with treating yourself; I hate some ice cream today, and I felt marvelous after it! :P My best advice is to immerse yourself in activities, people, and things that make your heart smile, give you meaning, and make you feel loved. And, most importantly, hugs across the miles from a fellow LDRer who just got back from getting used to her SO. <3
      "I love thee to the depth, and breadth, and height my soul can reach..." ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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        #4
        It's super difficult, I know My SO went off to Russia, so I didn't hear from him for over a month! And that was right after being CDR for a considerable amount of time. There's really no cure to make the pain and stress go away other than the age old "keep yourself busy". Try and pick up a new hobby that requires you to keep your body busy, like exercising or knitting :P And then watch a few TV shows. Try and think about the good memories you and your SO have when/if you want to think of him.

        Also, this is a pretty cliched piece of advice, but it gets me through a lot: each day spent is one day closer to seeing him again!

        Feel better (:
        "If you get hungry enough, they say, you start eating your own heart"

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          #5
          Just gotta take it one day at a time. When that doesn't work, break it into smaller increments.
          You can do anything for 5 minutes right? Of course.
          What about 10 minutes? A half hour? An hour?
          Keep busy and you'll go longer and longer without thinking about what you're missing. And when that doesn't work, just keep telling yourself that you can do anything for X amount of time. (That's how my mom got through hours of intense labor... distance has to be easier than childbirth, right?)


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            #6
            Thank you all for your advice and comments and stuff
            I'm at school the days when we won't have any contact, so that should take up most of my day. I'm thinking that I'll try and stay at school as late as I can and do extra work, or go to the library, something like that?
            No time zone or distance or anything can keep us apart

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              #7
              Definately try and stay distracted. Me and my SO spent 2 months together on a visit and went he left it was crazy difficult for me, and like you we didn't get back to our "normal" skype schedule of multiple hour chats for weeks after. Mainly because he felt it would be even harder than it already was on him if he talked to me.

              I just tried to watch good movies, spend time with family and go to the gym to tire myself out plus endorphin's. Its amazing how much that helped. Just know it gets better and you will regain your equilibrium eventually!

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