Partner is depressed and distant.

[TiffanyLovesNick]

Okay, my relationship has been pretty good. We had a huge fight in December when he broke my heart, but I tried to put that all past me.
Well, this past week or two our conversations have been really short and he hasn't seemed too interested in talking to me.
However, I know that a lot of bad things have happened to him this month.
I also know it's unfair of me to feel so sad because he is sad, and I should be strong for him.
I just can't stop seeing similarties between New Years and now. He got really distant with me then. He suffers from depression so that and some illnesses made him feel really bad and he broke up with me. He told me that he didn't love me like he should and that I should be with someone who will love me more than him. It was a very painful night for me, since I thought we were fine a week before. Well, I talked to him the night of the fight and he said he wanted to be with me again. I tried to let all the pain go and be strong and better to him.
Well, it's really hard. Especially now. I'm getting really depressed and I ask him for comfort but he says he doesn't think he can help. I don't know if another New Years is going to happen. I've been having dreams that he breaks up with me or cheats on me. I've been an absoulete reck. He says he loves me and I try and be really sweet and peppy/positive when we talk because I know he's feeling bad. But when he goes to bed I shatter, and I get so lonely and scared. Like, I litterally get sick. I have no idea why I feel like this.

[LadyMarchHare]

Is he on medication for this depression? It's sounds clinical.

Being someone who suffers from and takes meds for depression, (well, I'm Bipolar, but it is called "Manic Depression" for a reason) that's sadly normal. It's very hard to understand the thought processes he might be having in these moments and it sounds like he just repeatedly thinks over and over about his shortcomings and that you deserve better, which will make him worse. He's at a weak point and yes it is VERY hard being strong when you're upset too, but it sounds like he needs reassurance that you love him, even if it's a text once a day or just other small things. As for your being upset, maybe tell him that you're worried about him and ask him if he'll tell you what's going on with him so that you can help. It'll help put you at ease a bit and figure out what you can possibly do.

My SO's been working long hours and we rarely get to talk so I understand feeling depressed and shattered when the conversations aren't what they could be and you're worried something's going on. It's normal. You can literally worry yourself sick, I know firsthand. Just take it slow and be patient with him.

[TiffanyLovesNick]

He has dysmthia. (I spelled that wrong) And he used to take medication, but I think he hasn't gotten his next supscription. I guess I just feel like...what I feel doesn't matter. If I start getting depressed, then he gets depressed too, then I have to start acting fake.
I comfort and try to help him but he never does that for me. He promises to make up for when he's hurt me, but he doesn't,I don't bring it up afterwards, it would just be nice to have a apology.

[LadyMarchHare]

Well, this is a touch of hypocrisy from me, but you shouldn't have to fake your feelings -entirely- when he's down. You can only hold him up so much and you do deserve to be given a shoulder as well, because your feelings do matter and it's pretty much in the 'job' description for you both to comfort each other, not just one helping the other constantly.

He may forget the offense, which I know is common, and it's hard to bring it up again without sounding mean. Basically just tell him how you feel and if he gets upset and depressed tell him you're sorry but that you can't always be strong for the both of you. Pills can only do so much and you have to fight hard to be happy when your brain and body's against you, but he has a reason to be strong--you. If he can't, then I'd suggest he see a counselor or therapist so he has somewhere to work out his troubles without using you as a crutch.