How to make him go to the doctor?

[Jezah]

So, I know men are reluctant to go to the doc...but HBB takes it to another level.

He has been having a hard time sleeping lately, so much so that he is drowsy during the day. It is affecting his life, yet when I say go to the doctor he refuses. He says "I will deal with it on my own".

Same thing, he is convinced he has ADD since he has a hard time ever talking to me without clicking around the internet at the same time, is super distracted, can't concentrate and is always fidgeting. I tend to agree as his level of inattention is noticeable. He uses it as his excuse now for why if I tell him something like my work schedule, my plans for the next day he will forget. Yet again, he REFUSES to go to the doctor. I am again in a situation with him! He is so unbelievably stubborn, it is really above and beyond anyone else I have ever known. Its like it would hurt him physically to just give in.

I need advice, and needed to rant. Sometimes that man....he is like a mule

[lucybelle]

You've posted about this before. I wouldn't go to the doctor about those things either. I bet the doctor would just prescribe sleeping pills for night and Ritalin for the day. I wouldn't be okay with that.

[Sharon Q]

Okay for one sweetie you can't MAKE him go to a doctor, he's a grown man it has to be HIS choice.
And for two doctor's cost money, a lot of money, Money that he may not have or if he does have, may not want to spend unless highly needed.

[snow_girl]

After I came home from the hospital a month ago I developed a chesty cough. My SO would pester me every time I coughed that I should go to the doc. I was already on antibiotics and going to the doctor would be useless. It got really annoying and he wouldn't let it go. Leave it alone, you aren't his mom. If he doesn't want to go then drop it. If it gets bad enough he can't handle it anymore, then he'll do what he needs to.

[Dziubka]

I don't think there's anything you can do.
You can say that you're worried ad that you would feel better if he had it checked out, but that's about it. My boyfriend is much more of a doctor-goer than I am. He always tells me to go see a doctor, when I see nothing wrong. It's one of the things you have to accept about your partner. People have very different attitudes to that and most of them are reasonable depending on how you look at them. You can say that you would do it differently, but in the end it's your SOs decision. He's his own person. It's a take it or leave it situation.


Unless it's something super serious and there's a valid reason that them not having it checked out might cause a lot of harm, like really dangerous looking moles or having a history of cancer in the family and not getting that checked out regularly, you have to accept their approach. And even in that case possibilities are very limited.


I wouldn't go to the doctor for any of the things you described either.
I have phases every now and then where I have a hard time sleeping. It usually happens when I'm stressed, but it has happened without obvious reasons before (or maybe I was subconsciously stressed). Rituals help, like drinking a herbal tea with lavender or whatever else is supposed to make you sleep, valerian root, taking a relaxing bath/shower, etc.

[Jezah]

He isn't able to get a job because he is too tired to get up and make the phone calls, drowsy when he is awake and then too disorganized and crappy at time management to remember. So I think this is something he SHOULD be going to the doctor for. He isn't having an issue falling asleep, but staying asleep and feeling rested when he gets up. Also, he is in England, NHS = free healthcare. He is honestly just being lazy about it.

I think he may go, I just read from a article about ADD and symptoms and he says he will call the doctor in the AM. Not sure what changed, been weeks of fighting over this, but we will see if he follows through or just "forgets"

[Malaga]

He isn't having an issue falling asleep, but staying asleep and feeling rested when he gets up. Also, he is in England, NHS = free healthcare. He is honestly just being lazy about it.

My boyfriend's always had the same problem. He's a light sleeper, wakes up every time he turns, he never gets enough sleep and never feels rested in the morning. He's also always tired. He's done the check-up, they did the blood test and made a special diabetes test too because he also has to pee out like every glass of water he drinks. They found nothing wrong with him, all his levels are OK. He's just like that I guess. Honestly I think it has more to do with diet than anything else, he eats no fruit whatsoever and veggies only occasionally. He also rarely takes any vitamins. A healthier lifestyle would surely do wonders, more balanced diet, exercise, going to bed at a reasonable hour.

[megfashion]

id do one of two things... 1. get him to explain *why* he wont go to the doctor, and then if it isnt a good reason in your opinion, start to give your side and request for him to go there within a week or so if it doesnt get better.
or 2. seduce seduce seduce!! (i only really do that if the anxiety is high and he just wont budge)

with sleeping... it sounds like he has made a routine of this now. so when he is online etc.. make sure he stays up, doesnt go to sleep, nothing. that way he will be super drowsy and then go to sleep at night. it sounds mean n he might be grumpy, but honestly it works, ive had insomnia before and it does wonders. feel free to PM on this matter as i know alot about what to do :P

with the possibility of ADD... is he hyper all the time? if he is jumpy and energetic 24/7 then yes maybe it is (note this is my opinion, not a doctors.). the fidgeting by the computer may just be a habit. i dont have ADD but i can never just talk to the SO on skype, i have to be doing other things too :P

hope this helps.

[Sora1101]

I'd say let him do whatever he wants, you can't force him to go and just pestering him about it will just drive both of you guys nuts. Who cares if he's just being lazy about it? Sure being sleepy in the day is annoying trust me I've been there and ADD is a bit annoying as well none of it is life threatening so there's really no reason he needs to go to the doctor. This is just how he is if you can't accept that then you're gonna have one hell of a long hard relationship unless he never gets sick.

Oh and I've taken adderall the meds usually prescribed for ADD and they keep you awake for hours upon hours so either he's going to be even more tired or he's gonna be a little absent minded either way it's a lose lose. Not to mention all the other side effects like depression, and lack of appetite. Oh and I've realized that as soon as you take the pill the first thing you work on you won't be able to stop till it's done no matter what. I took it and started absentmindedly coloring on my backpack at school, no matter how hard I tried to put the marker down I couldn't, it was like a compulsion I missed a ton of notes that day because it didn't wear off until 5am.

[Caitlin2009]

frankly i have ADD but i know how to control it on my own without medication, as for his sleeping rather then bug him about going to the doctor recommend he get a dvd with music to help him sleep