I'm turning into a crazy person.

[Black_Halloween]

I really hope I don't sound like a brat to you guys, its not my intention at all. I just need to rant

Dan and I had a fight the other day about how he never talks to me during the day, I usually have to wait until 8 at night to even hear from him and even then I have to message his sister to ask if he's okay and she'll say "yeah hes right next to me", which is what set me off. He told me that he needs time to himself, and I get that I really do and I respect that but I don't wanna wait until late at night to talk to him. He doesn't have a job, he's not in school at the moment (though he's applying to schools where i'm applying) and he doesn't really have any friends so whats the deal?! (rhetorical question). All I want is more time with him

I know, "me,me,me" right? I can't help it sometimes.



I think missing him is driving me insane. Does anybody else ever go through this?

[Jayburr]

Hehe, it's kind of funny, my last reply to a topic here was in regards to how my ex use to nag me constantly about how I didn't talk to her enough. The difference though, between my situation then, and your situation now, is that I was at work when she would nag me, and she was at home doing nothing, expecting me to entertain her throughout the day I guess. Your SO, it sounds like, isn't working, isn't going to school, and, in general, has a lot of free time, so, yeah, that's not cool, in my opinion. I could understand if he works or goes to school all day, comes home and just wants to relax for a bit afterward, but since he isn't doing anything, I don't think there's really any excuse. He has plenty of time to himself all day every day as it is, and I don't think you should have to wait.

Definitely talk to him about it.

[Zephii]

Wait what? He's not working or studying, doesn't have an active social life.... how much time to oneself does this guy need? Something's a bit off here.

Anyway, I can understand him not wanting to be in constant contact or anything, not wanting to talk too much... I mean if he's not really doing anything he's not going to have much to say, but he could put in the time to watch a movie with you or whatever.

I would think the best thing to do is have a serious conversation about how much yous talk, and when. Maybe you'd be happy to talk less at night in exchange for a good-morning phone call or something?

I dunno, just my 2c

[alittlemind]

This sounds almost exactly like what I'm dealing with, but my boyfriend is in school and is often busy with football and church things. While I haven't started school yet. But I get how you're feeling. Often I know when he isn't busy, but he still doesn't contact me at all, I'm often the one to do it. We've only been LD for 3 weeks, so I'm not sure what to tell you, other than ask him what's going on. When you argued the other day, did he understand why you were upset, but didn't really see the problem, because he wants his own time? Maybe suggest you have days where he'll contact you earlier, and then days where you talk at the normal time? Are you often home during the day, too? What does he do during the day?
Sorry for the whole load of questions, I just don't know what advice to give without much other info. Anyway, good luck!

[nicole]

I think it's totally reasonable to not want to wait till late at night to talk. I hate a very awkward time difference with my SO, so I had to stay up late to talk to him, or we couldn't talk at all and it used to get to me a lot; lack of sleep - grumpy nicole! I'd have a talk with him, and try to set up a reasonable time for you both to call each other, maybe he could call you in the morning instead of late at night?

[Black_Halloween]

I think it's totally reasonable to not want to wait till late at night to talk. I hate a very awkward time difference with my SO, so I had to stay up late to talk to him, or we couldn't talk at all and it used to get to me a lot; lack of sleep - grumpy nicole! I'd have a talk with him, and try to set up a reasonable time for you both to call each other, maybe he could call you in the morning instead of late at night?

We only have an hour time difference so its not like im waking up when he's going to bed or anything.

[Black_Halloween]

This sounds almost exactly like what I'm dealing with, but my boyfriend is in school and is often busy with football and church things. While I haven't started school yet. But I get how you're feeling. Often I know when he isn't busy, but he still doesn't contact me at all, I'm often the one to do it. We've only been LD for 3 weeks, so I'm not sure what to tell you, other than ask him what's going on. When you argued the other day, did he understand why you were upset, but didn't really see the problem, because he wants his own time? Maybe suggest you have days where he'll contact you earlier, and then days where you talk at the normal time? Are you often home during the day, too? What does he do during the day?
Sorry for the whole load of questions, I just don't know what advice to give without much other info. Anyway, good luck!

Nono I like questions! Honestly he doesn't do much during that day from what him and his grandmother (he lives with her) tells me. He cleans around the house, job searches, spends time with his family (that he dosnt even like) ectect. Its not like he's running around all day doing errants that make him oh so busy he can't talk to me until late at night. I think I just hurt his ego cuse he dosnt like being reminded that he has nothing at the moment so he stays up really late and sleeps in -_- every time i ask him "what did you do today?" he gets all pissy cuse he knows he didn't really do much of anything.

He understood when I tried talking to him but it ended up turning into a yelling match I'm basically in the same boat he's in at the moment, times are hard in these small towns even when you try to push for something better.

[Kiyama]

I understand that he has issues with not having a job and not much to do. It can raise some insecurities and really bring you down. That's not an excuse to take it out on you though. I would talk to him about that.

What I find pretty immature is this whole "now I'm paying you back and won't talk to you all day" thing. Communication, especially in long distance relationships, is everything. I could not put up with someone who acted like a child as your SO does, incapable to handle an issue like an adult. I think it's important that you find a way to communicate better with each other. You'll find some great advice on communication on the forum

[Jezah]

Have you tried to ask him about this in a non-attacking way? Like maybe say "I really missed you today, I was thinking of you" and see what he says? I have always been very straightforward with my SO when I am feeling something, and while it doesn't always work he can never say "I had no idea you were feeling that way!". You have every right to want to spend time with your SO, and I think in general one half of a couple shouldn't always be in control of when you spend time together. I think it should be a shared decision on what works well for BOTH of you.

Just my two cents