Breakups After Closing the Distance

[BlueEyedBoiseGirl]

This is a question for those of you who have frequented the forums for a long time. Any guesstimates on how many people here (or what proportion of people) have closed the distance with their SO, and then broken up afterwards? If you have any specific examples in mind, any idea how long it took after the move for the break up to occur?

I realize that after becoming CD, a lot of people probably stop posting updates, so my question may be impossible to answer.

I'm thinking in the far-off future here (since my SO and I have only been together for a few months and there's no way we will be CD for at least a year or two), but the thought of moving away from my family and life here into the uncertainty of something new is rather terrifying. And being the nerdy mathematician and engineer that I am, I have a desire to put some sort of statistics on the post-move breakup scenario

Edited to add:
I have searched the forums and found a few posts from individuals whose relationships did not work after closing the distance. However, I'm still wondering about the overall trends that those of you who have been here for a while have observed.

Also... I probably should have put this in the "Closing the Distance" section, but now I can't figure out how to move it there.

[snow_girl]

There is no possible way to make stats on this. People break up for multiple reasons regardless of closing the distance. Looking for stories won't help in any way in regards of what might pop up in your relationship. There is no time limit for when the most break ups occur once closing the distance. It's a nice idea but I think you're wasting your time and won't find much on the subject.

[BlueEyedBoiseGirl]

I'm not looking for statistics to help my own relationship, and I know that breakups occur for a variety of reasons whether they are LD or CD. Since being LD adds another level of complication to the relationship, though, I still think some things that others have had go wrong in the transition from LD to CD would be helpful to hear about.

Mostly, I'm just curious for the sake of curiosity

[Snowlilly]

I think the prospect of moving from a place is always somewhat scary. It is the unknown. I think I am more at ease with that because of the fact my parents moved every 2 years when I was growing up, and I spent 10 years in the military moving around so I think of moving as an adventure. I have friends in lots of places and I know I will always make new friends where ever I go.

That being said. You have to decide in your mind whether or not the person/relationship is worth it to you to make that move and would they be willing to do the same for you.

[lucybelle]

I think it's silly to try to compare your relationship with other peoples. There have been some couples who break up after closing the distance. But most of the times it's not because the distance is closed, it's because the relationship just won't work. They probably would have come to the same decision in a long distance relationship.

And there's lots of couples who have married, had children, etc. So it's hard to say. And it's silly to compare.

[Zephii]

I'd actually be interested in some kind of study on this haha. Mostly because I have too much time on my hands I guess.

The problem here is that the majority of members who do close the distance don't stick around - especially not in the earlier days of the forum. So you never really know if they succeeded CD or not.

The other problem is I, and I'm sure the other people who remember as well, would have to be absolute dicks to provide information on the demises of our mate's relationships.

It is really worthwhile to have a deep think about all the possible things that could go wrong, and talk a lot about them before you close the distance; also talk about how you would deal with them if they arose, how your communication will change etc.

[efish1042]

We don't have statistics. We make them. We fight them. We are the statistics.

[H.Mikenzi]

We don't have statistics. We make them. We fight them. We are the statistics.

I completely agree with ^ that. We can't really spend time thinking about what could go wrong when we're so committed to making things right and surviving the distance for the ones that we love.

[MadMolly]

I had a four year relationship with my ex, starting long distance and he moved to me after 2 years. We broke up not because of the distance, but because he had tremendous problems. So, we did break up after closing the distance, but it wasn't *because* we closed the distance! though, perhaps I would have realised sooner if he had always lived near me that I didn't want to be with him.