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Advice about break up !!!

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    Advice about break up !!!

    Hello ! My story is huge but I'm gonna try to get it short. I'm from Brazil and I was in a exchange program in the USA for 1 year and a half.
    I met my boyfriend in a website, we talked for two weeks and then we decide to meet.
    It was amazing ! We got along very well since the first words and we started a relationship on the next day.

    My exchange program was about to end, with no chance to change my visa - we start to date exactly 1 month before the program end.
    My parents missed me a lot, so I decided to come back home for 6 months and then go back to the US.
    We were happy together and he made all the promises that we would be together no matter what.
    He asked in me in marriage 1 week before I came back home, so I came back with a ring and very secure about our love.

    After 2 weeks, he called me on Skype and said that was not happy anymore. That we were arguing a lot and he was not feeling the same way about us.
    We talked a lot and we made a deal that we would make some changes to make things back to normal.
    I thought that everything were doing well, until the day that he told me that met some Mexican girl in a website and started to like her - she doesn't know about me.
    He keep saying that he loves me, but he is not sure if he still want to date me, and about the marriage there is no way anymore.

    I gave him 2 days to think about it and decide if he wants to fight for our relationship or just break up.
    I gave him a condition that if he wants to still be with me, he needs to stop talk with this girl.
    I still love him too much and I can't let him go, even knowing that I should love myself instead.
    I can't sleep and all that I do is cry the whole day. I made a whole plan for my life and now I don't know what to do.
    I've lying to people all the time when they ask about my wedding plans, I keep saying that everything is all right.
    I'm so embarrassed with this situation, I feel so stupid to believe him.

    Any advice, would be very helpful ! You guys can ask me anything you want !

    Thank you so much and sorry for the long post.

    #2
    I think that if he's not sure now then he never will be. Giving him time to think about it isn't going to change his mind. I say just let it go and find somebody who is 100% sure about you
    Made it official: 12-01-10
    First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
    Closed the distance: 07-31-13

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      #3
      Very sorry to hear about this

      From the sound of it, you "dated" for 3 weeks before he asked you to marry him? Not to say that relationships moving that fast can't work, but, it's a little unusual, and not to mention risky, to ask someone you've only known a few weeks to marry you. You two literally just met each other and there is a lot of emotion and feelings between you two in the beginning, and it's all too easy to get caught up in the new-found love and want to marry someone right away. I think you two sort of made this mistake...or, at least he did.

      I would say try to talk to him and work through it...but the fact that he told you he's talking to another girl and that he likes her...to me, that's his farewell to you. The guys asks to marry you, is separated from you for hardly any time at all and is already wanting to call it quits and talking to someone else...that's not right at all. It sounds to me like he wasn't very serious about you.
      First met online: October 15th, 2011
      First met in-person: July 13th, 2012

      Next meeting: September 21st, 2012

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        #4
        I am so sorry to hear about this. I can't even imagine how you are feeling right now!
        Well, you said you were arguing before this mexican girl show up... I think you should talk to him and try to work things out.
        About this mexican girl... Maybe she is not even real and he just pulled this off because he didn't want to get married after all or something like this. I don't know.
        If this girl is real and he really loves YOU, he'll realize he's making a mistake...
        I wish I could help you more
        Stay strong!

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          #5
          Thank you guys ! Advices are like gold for me in this moment !
          Well, I tried to break up with him last night just saying, typical things: that I wish him luck in his life and etc.
          I have a lot of my stuff in his house and I told him that I will ask someone to pick up or I will find a way to do it when I come back to the US.
          I'm still coming back even if are not together anymore 'cause I'm doing this for me.
          Every time that I say this kind of things - about break up - he just freaks out and don't let me go.
          I said that we don't need to wait until Friday if he has his decision about it already.
          I really don't want to play this game.
          He told the Mexican girl about me and she didn't care, he said she just got surprised about it.
          So you can say what kind of person she is: if she was a decent lady she would just not stand between us.
          I can't understand why someone is able to change a future, for an adventure

          Anyway, we are going to talk again tomorrow or Saturday.

          THANK YOU VERY MUCH !

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            #6
            Good luck

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