How do we make it work with less communiation now that she is starting school?

[Carteryuuup]

My Girlfriend and i have been in a LDR for about 3 years and we decided that im going to move to Florida next summber so we can finally close the distance. But she just got accepted to a college in Savannah Georgia for performing arts she wants to be a famous actress. I guess it is not that big of a deal considering her semesters are only two months long and that we have been discussing getting married in the spring of 2014. The problem is that I love her so much and im so scared to lose her that i dont want her to get to school and not want this anymore or look at this relationship as a distraction for her career. We talk pretty much all day unless she is at work so it is going to be hard for me to transition to talking all day to not talking a lot because she is busy with school. How can we keep the passion of this relationship while she is away at school? I dont know what i would do if i lose her and i know that we wont be able to talk like we do and that scares me.

[snow_girl]

You only need to make one thread, no need to make three with the same subject. Be patient people will reply.

[Moon]

You only need to make one thread, no need to make three with the same subject. Be patient people will reply.

This. And also, you don't mention what you are doing with YOUR life....are you also in school or have a full-time gig somewhere? The most important thing is to have things that keep you occupied enough of the time, so if you aren't a student, or have a full-time job, that's a good start. Relationship dynamics change all of the time, you just have to adjust and roll with it. Don't be so dependent and insecure, you've been together for three years, you probably don't have much to worry about here, other than boredom.

You mention moving to Florida, but you do realize that your girlfriend's dream of becoming a famous actress, as infinitesimally small as the chances of that happening are, will require her to go to New York City or LA for any chance of it at all to happen, right? Are you prepared for that? You sound pretty young, so I'm only asking in case you haven't realized the implications of that career choice

Anyway, stop worrying so much and go find something to do, so the loss of communication won't feel so harsh when it happens.

[Carteryuuup]

sorry, i am currently working a 40 hour a week job trying to save up as much money as i can so i can move out there to her. I am also trying to get myself signed up for a few classes to take this fall. we have a trip planned somewhat for December, I am just worried about losing her. We know im moving out there next summer and have said that when we get married in the fall of 2014 we will get a place together in Savannah until she finishes school and then we will move out somewhere that she can pursue her goals and i can make a living for us. I am also aware that her chances of making it in the acting business are slim to none but i dont want to ask her if she has thought about what if it doesnt work out i do not want her to think that i doubt her or that i think that she won't make it.

[Katelyn313]

What Moon said. (She gives great advice, so it's always worth it to heed what she says). Also, relax Calmly talk this over with your SO. Communication is the biggest thing, ESPECIALLY in an LDR. You definitely need to talk with her and let her know how you're feeling. I had to do the same thing when school started for me. And I calmly brought it up one night while we were Skyping. "Hey, you know I'm starting school and I just wanted you to know that might cut in to some of the time that we talk". He completely understands and supports me and knows my schoolwork comes first and we work around it. Communication and compromise. And definitely find a hobby or hopefully your classes will keep you busy too.

As far as the back up plan... that's a toughie. I work under the motto, Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Dylan and I are planning on closing the distance and moving in together next March. But we are aware something *could* happen. We've been discussing different things for him to do job-wise when he gets here. (I'm established at a job and am going to school, he's moving up here pretty much cold). Maybe ask her if she wasn't going to be an actress, what would she be doing? That could provide a little insight into a fall-back plan of sorts. I know you want to seem supportive (and you sound like you are!) so that is a tough thing to bring up. Good luck.

My advice is to relax, communicate and compromise. Let us know how it goes!! Good Luck!

[Xanahtas]

When i was in college, my SO was also in college or working and we only got an hour a day if we were lucky. We were used to a lot more before that happened, pretty much all day when i wasnt at high school. You just kinda automatically settle in to it after a couple of days and you'll realise it isnt all that bad.

Have you thought about what will happen if she doesnt make it into acting? Will you be able to support the two of you if she cant get a job? I think you two should talk about other options if she doesnt make into the acting business. You have to have a back up plan or something to fall back on if the worst happened.
Me and my SO have had to have that conversation, i was going to into photography but we both decided that i might not be able to get into a steady job so i went into Childcare, its always needed and its alright money. We both need to have good jobs that can keep us on our feet. She shouldnt be upset by you bringing this up. You two have to have the same thing if you are to live together. Its only sensible to have options open and plans ready. If you were to marry 2014, you have to have a steady income or it will put strain on the marriage and it may result in an unhappy relationship.

And after 3 years, i dont think you have to worry about her leaving you.

[Sharon Q]

My SO is in college, I go to a trade school. Its just a matter of working around a schedule. And being creative.
We can't skype because of the busy hours for each of us. So instead we email videos to one another.
There is also normal emailing which helps, even if its just one email a day to let the other know how they are doing.
You can also text/send pics if you each have a phone.

One more thing, I found an app for the Iphone, and the Android smart phones ( if you each have a phone like this you can use the app )
Its called " Pair " It lets you share a timeline that only the two of you can see, you can send pics, videos, draw together, all kinds of stuff.
( I'm actually waiting for my SO to get an Iphone set back to the factory settings, then if he gets wifi or a data plan I'll see if he wants to use the app. )

There are loads of ways to communicate, you just have to be creative.

[Nbaby]

Soon i start with school as well and he just have to work. And with a time difference it will be hard. But I am alrdy preparing myself for it. I guess in the weekends we have more time for eachother. You dont have to talk hours per day to make it work. I think a simple text or an email would be fine. Compare your schedule to hers so you can see when you two have free time for eachother. Plan dates when u can talk so u have something to look forward to.