Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Met online? How did you tell your parents?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #16
    I literally just came right out and told my mom. Everything. All the way from the beginning. Starting with the whole Formspring thing, which she kind of found out about a while ago anyway. She asked me so many questions, as I expected. And I didn't mind at all. I told her where he lives, where he goes to school, what he's studying, hobbies, work experience, etc. I even told her I could pull information about him up on multiple websites, like ones for his chess team, and I can show her pictures to compare to his Facebook profile.

    She set some rules. If I were to meet him, he would have to come here. She actually wanted him to stay at my house rather than a hotel. She had to talk to his mom. It worked out perfectly because that was our plan in the first place. But I could tell she didn't think we would last until when we had planned to meet. We started dating in October and we met in July. But as the months went on, she started to get more interested in him. Which made meeting him a lot easier.

    Although telling my dad was a different story. I didn't want to, I was so scared. My mom told him, but wasn't as detailed as I was. Just said we met on the internet. He never asked about him once or brought him up in conversation at all. He seems to like him, definitely more than any past relationships I've been in (you know how dads can be :P). And he asks about him more often, and when he sees me texting him he tells me to let him know he says hello.

    It takes time and patience. You can get them to believe and understand you as long as you stay calm and respectful.

    Comment


      #17
      Thank you all so much for sharing!! :]

      Comment


        #18
        Well, I was too nervous to actually say it to my parents face so I emailed my mom from my room when she got home from work and she read to my dad although I told her not read it out loud. I was meeting him for the first time in a few weeks when I sent the email. I know my parents are still a bit shocked since we're still together 3 years later.

        Comment


          #19
          Originally posted by rixue View Post
          I was pretty sure my parents would reject the idea of a guy from the internet visiting their daughter since they are normally way overprotective. Could he have visited my city and stayed at a hotel and we could hang out without my parents knowing? Yes, but we both decided against going that route. We wanted to be upfront and honest about our relationship and wanted him to be able to get to know my parents and vice versa. Plus that would kill the trust factor with my parents and my SO (also with me). I told my parents about him the day after we officially started going out and the conversation pretty much went like this:

          "There is this guy that I like, and it would mean a lot to me if you were able to meet him and get to know him. The only issue with that is he lives in West Virginia, and we met over the internet. Since I am currently on winter break I was thinking he could possibly come and visit for a few days." And surprisingly enough my parents were receptive to the idea (my dad more so than my mother).

          My mother did set some ground rules for his visit: He had to stay in a hotel, no going back to his hotel room, we would have to be chaperoned if we left to go anywhere, and things like that. Since I am 22 I should be able to do what I want right? Technically yes, but I live under my parents roof and what they say goes. Even though my SO and I were not crazy about the rules for his visit, at least he was able to visit me. After the first few hours of my SO 's visit my parents completely scraped the idea of us having to be chaperoned for every activity we did. They really warmed up to him and saw he was not the stereotypical "creepy guy over the internet who wants to harm my daughter". My mom actually made a joke about that. Skip forward a few days into my SO's visit and my mom approached me saying he did not have to stay at the hotel for the remainder of his visit and could stay at our house (with some rules of course).

          TLDR: I think you should not keep your relationship a secret.

          This is my situation to a "T" and I'm sincerely hoping that in the end my mom allow's my SO to stay here instead of at a hotel. Crossing our fingers!

          I was scared to tell my mom as well but was kinda forced to when flowers showed up at my front door when she was home but I sat down and told her everything and she took it really well and she's looking forward to meeting him.

          Comment


            #20
            even though i am 41..been married..through a relationship after that..which was also someone i met online...ended badly by the way...she broke up with me with a text..she was in the house with me...i was in the basement...and she texted me...i know...was such a bad bad bad relationship...anyway...off topic there...not that it matters for me as much as some under the age of 18..but i know my mom doesn't totally get it...and i'm ok with that...because i know what's right for me...and she met my girlfriend for the first time while she was here...and my girlfriend...as we were leaving...went up to my mom and gave her a big hug...my mom wasn't expecting it..but hugged her back...meant a whole hell of alot to me...i want them to have a great relationship...right from the get go...i am very much a family guy...so it's important to me...and can't wait to go back to washington at some point...hopefully soon...to meet her mom and her daughter...and the rest of her family...soooooo can't wait!!!!!!!

            Comment


              #21
              My mom always knew I was constantly talking to strangers over the internet (I've always been a computer nerd .-.) so she asked who I was texting one day and I told her and she didn't really take me seriously, but then she realized we were skyping for hours each day and she finally realized I was serious lol.

              Comment


                #22
                I actually didn't tell, but it slipped out. I kept it a secret for months, and then one day my mom somehow suspected something after I mentioned I heard something from someone. It wasn't long before she threw a bunch of questions at me and asked me who I am talking to, where he lives, how to I plan to go about this, etc.. I painfully answered them knowing she would not approve and believe it was a fantasy. It upset me as she was upset about it as well, as she saw a few long distance relationship that went bad. But eventually I told her everything, and got some hurtful remarks about just what I thought she'd say; that it was a fantasy and I'd never see him. Yes, it hurt, but I don't care as it's my life and I can be with who I want.

                Edit: After almost a year later she began to start referring to him as my boyfriend, as we plan to meet soon, but I know she still doesn't like it. Good luck to everyone else.
                Last edited by angelvee; October 7, 2012, 08:11 PM.
                Met Online: 2009-10
                Started Talking: Jan 25, 2011
                Relationship Started: June 25, 2011
                First Meeting: June 9, 2014
                Engaged: June 12, 2014
                Second Visit and Road Trip: Sep 3, 2014

                Comment


                  #23
                  With my gf, i knew that her parents disliked Americans quite a bit. So i told her that i would tell my parents about it first since i knew i could handle the criticism. I also told her that i would let her tell her parents about me when she felt comfortable doing so. Whenever things got negative with telling her parents or friends, i would always be there to support her and give her positive feedback. My parents were kind of shocked and didn't like it at first but they have since warmed up to it, and are curious to know more. Her parents did not like me very much at all when they found out, but i tried my best to make small conversation with them when possible or to talk in Portuguese (which is their official language) to show them that i care enough to try and learn the language. For the females telling their parents about meeting a guy online, they probably aren't going to like the idea very much, but if the guy shows that he cares about the woman/girl and is willing to support her, then i think that will help win the parents over. If you're honest about most things with meeting your sig other online, then the parents should eventually open up and start liking it a bit more.
                  I'm mmm mmm good!

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Even though I'm 28 years old, I'm very close and have a great relationship with my family.
                    My mom is my partner in crime so to speak so she knows way more than my dad. Telling her was really easy but then again I'm 28 so I kind of know what I'm doing. They give me advice and I listen to them and depending on what it is, I either take their advice or do my own thing.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Tried to keep it a secret. Didn't last for long. They found out somehow. And of course i got the worse case scenario. They werent happy about it obviously. They wanted me to be honest with them. I've heard it all that he is a rapist, murderer, psychopath, drugsdealer, womendealer.... and the list goes on. And they wonder why i couldnt tell them right away. Also because of that reason i'm not allowed visit him so i had to cancel my plans. But hey every parent is different. Some parents are more supportive than others. I'm not happy that they know but a little bit relieved. I dont have to lie anymore or stressing out to keep it all a secret. Whatever they say or do it wont stop me. So in the end they have to accept it. I also agree with cambells19 that being female makes it a bit more complicated.
                      Last edited by Nbaby; October 8, 2012, 04:19 PM.

                      Comment


                        #26
                        I still haven't told my mum the truth, and neither of my friends either, haha! Me and my SO met on a dating site, but I've been telling everyone that we have a mutual friend in England (a girl I actually know), that introduced us to each other and that we kept talking over e-mail and things evolved from there. That way, it got easier to tell everyone about me and my SO because someone else had already "met" him, and it wasn't all a complete lie. My mum was really cool with it though, and I think my dad was too (we don't really talk at all), they just told me to be careful once I did go to meet him in Stockholm. Now that they know him, they're supercool with it and they really like him, but I'm still going with the story because I know they will either mock me for the reality or cut me off from the internet :O xD
                        Last edited by Alle1770; October 9, 2012, 07:31 AM.


                        Met online: February 2011
                        Met the first time: August 16, 2011

                        Comment

                        Working...
                        X