NOT fighting?

[AnonT]

Hey everyone,

It's been about 7 months into our relationship and during this time we haven't fought once. Some of you might think that this is a good sign in a relationship but I don't take it as that at all. In fact I'm concerned if it could mean that the two of us aren't talking enough so we don't have anything to fight over.

Haha I don't know if it sounds silly- and don't get me wrong of course I don't want to fight with her! But we have skype calls once every 1 or 2 weeks with messages maybe once every few days and it isn't a lot to me. It can't be helped though, we have work and study so it's not a matter of finding more time to talk together... I just want to know what you all think of us not fighting at all.

Again I don't think it's necessarily a good sign, just wondering if it means that we aren't talking enough.

[Black_Halloween]

Have you brought this up to her?

[LeilaniJoi]

Took us about a year and a half of physically living together too have our first real fight... is not that uncommon.

[Sora1101]

I don't think it's weird, I didn't start fighting with my SO until about 2 years into the relationship even then it wasn't real fighting just little spats and were result of poor wording in texts.

Just because you don't fight doesn't mean that you aren't talking enough it just means that you pretty much agree with each other or that you know how to tactfully state your opinions in a way that seem non confrontational. If you're really worried about it ask her about it. Just say "hey ya know I realized we haven't ever fought before don't you think that's kind of weird? You aren't holding anything in are you? " make it seem casual and light hearted

[Moon]

I wouldn't fight with you either and ruin the little time you have together, and there are some people less inclined to argue than others. Don't worry, when you finally get the chance to talk more often, I'm sure you'll find something to fight about

[alittlemind]

My boyfriend and I have only fought maybe once. We have disagreements all the time, but they last 10 minutes tops. And that doesn't mean we don't talk enough at all, when we were CD we'd talk constantly. It all depends on your personalities and how they go together with each other. I'll often just let things slide, while my SO is just too ADD to remember why he got upset in the first place, and when it's a bigger disagreement we can usually fix it pretty fast.

Maybe you aren't talking enough, but if it can't be helped, then why worry about it? If you feel like you know her well enough, and you get enough time together for each of you to be happy, then I'd say everything is fine. Maybe bring it up to her, just tell her what you've been thinking about, and see how she feels. If she feels you need to talk a little more, see if you can find a few extra minutes in your days to just chat.

Best wishes to you both!

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

My SO and I have been together a year and a half and I can count the number of times we've argued on one hand. And we try to talk every day, even if it's just a couple of texts. Stop worrying about not arguing and be glad you're not the kind of couple who argue constantly. I love that i don't argue often with my SO. The lack of tension on a daily basis is relaxing.
So yeah, by all means bring it up, light heatedly, but enjoy what you do have. Not arguing is awesome.

[snow_girl]

In my past reationship of three years we never fought once, and it was a very healthy relationship. Just didnt have anything to fight over

[Tooki]

It just depends on the nature of both parties. My GF and I argue more often that we would like, partly because we are both very stubborn people.

[LittleBox]

I tend to butt heads with pretty much everyone but my boy and I haven't had any fights. We talk daily for hours on end and sometimes we get upset/disappointed over things that are beyond our control but we normally overcome those. I'm very stubborn and opinionated but I tend to approach him differently. I suppose it depends how you've settled into the relationship with each other more than how often you communicate.

[Malaga]

Sometimes people don't fight because they avoid conflicts. They bottle up what's bothering them for the sake of not kicking up fuss. If that's your concern and you feel that either her or you feel like you can't be honest with each other about issues, then I'd advise you to definitely work on it as it's bound to crack at some point.

But maybe you already communicate so well that you solve all your grievances without much fuss. Only you can tell which is it.

[AnonT]

Thanks for the feedback everyone I suppose the general consensus is that it doesn't really matter *too* much after all :P I haven't brought this up to her and I probably won't because it seems unnecessary. The relationship is short but we've known each other for a lot longer, just to clear things up.

[rina]

I have never been in a relationship LD or CD in which i fight. I blame this on my pacifist nature and my will to compromise and sacrifice to reach a resolution. Maybe your partner is the same way?

[LilyChiba]

In the four years I was with my ex, we only fought twice. He has so far, been my longest relationship and we're still good friends, just fell out of love. My SO now.. we fight a lot more as of recent. It's just what works for who.

[Amelia]

i think you may think its weird because there is that idea that when couples fight it shows they care for one another. That may be true to some extent but just because you dont fight doesnt mean you dont care for one another. Also not everyone fights or argues, as other people have said they dont fight. Each relationship is different because different people are involves, different personalities. Dont stress about it, I guess with less talking its harder to fight with someone so maybe thats the reason.