i fucked up everything :(

[maja]

ok ill try to keep this short:
so here goes...last week seby preferred not to talk to me for two whole days and rather spend all the time with his friends and some ps2 games. and he knew i was already extremly upset because the weeks before weve been barely talking and always arguing and all that. he was always telling i was being bitchy all the time and complaining too much, so i started keeping most of thoughts to myself. on that evening then i just told him about everything that upset me and that put him really down to the point where he told me he was giving up we had a long convo afterwards cos i was really close to breaking up cos i couldnt take all the unhappiness anymore. n order to save the relationship he immediately booked a flight and came 10 hours later and we had the most wonderful time. but now hes gone again and im back to being really depressed. to cheer me up my friends took me out partying last night and we overdid it a bit much with alcohol and (which is far worse) weed. hence why he is so disappointed at me; he hates any kind of drugs cos theres osme bad drug history in his family (his dad died of drugs pretty much and his brother got really violent and started beating up his mum and all that shit). he is so sad now and angry at me and wont talk to me and said maybe it was better to break up than getting betrayed by girlfriend again. i cant even forgive myself, how could he? i really dont know what to do apart from saying sorry if i could id do the same he did and just fly over but im so low on money right now and still have to pay my mum 800 euro back. any one know something i can do? im so scared of losing him, i just wanna shrivel up and die right now

[fcbella]

I think the best thing you could do right now is just give him space. Give him time to soak it all in and have a mature conversation about everything when he contacts you again. You mentioned you have had disappointment's regarding lack of communication, etc. Maybe this space will be good for you as well to reevaluate the situation. Take a good week to yourselves. Gather your thoughts and true feelings about the relationship. Hopefully once he talks with you again, things can get sorted out and a "plan" could get in place to avoid things like this in the future. If it's meant to work out darlin, it will. It can just take a lot of work to get there.

I know in my relationship we have had communication troubles. When he starts getting snappy at me {for instance... "I was away from my computer for 10mins and you're freaking out I'm not answering!"(when it's been 4 days since talking with him before that)}, I give him space. I take the time to get my head around the situation and see what I can improve on to avoid situations like this in the future. I know he tends to do the same thing, as when we do talk we discuss everything and try to come to a resolution.

Good luck!

[Semperfikindoflove]

In a relationship where distance is a factor you always have to consider how your actions might affect that person, even if they are far away (well even more so). In any relationship what you do can hurt the other person. The best thing you can do right now is wait for him to talk to you, don't try to get him to forgive you quickly. I bet his anger and disappointment will calm down soon anyway. If he loves you he should be able to forgive you for the slip up. However, I wouldn't recommend doing it again. Sometimes it's hard to keep things going because you two are in completely different places, and you both have lives. You both have to remember that loving someone isn't easy by any means and it's important to keep communication open in a relationship.

If you aren't happy with something you have to let him know, but he has to be able to understand it and not get angry with you for voicing your opinion. However, if he needs nights out with the guys a few nights in a row or something, let him do it. He will probably be much happier if he can have some uninterrupted guy time. Keep your head up, it will pass soon. I wish you the best of luck.

[lunamea]

I can see where both you and your bf are coming from, but still, I wouldn't call what you did "betrayal". I think you should make clear to him that what drove you to do this was that you were so depressed over the two of you being apart again. Things like that can lead people to do a lot of stupid things they usually wouldn't.
My husband and I have had a rough time since we went LDR, too, so I went home to visit during winter break, too, and first, things were not much better, so I was really depressed and thought that was it. I was so desperate I got wasted for the first time in my life (in his presence, though) - and I used to be a tee-totaller when I was younger and the last few years, I've only had the occasional drink every now and then! But at that moment, I was so hopeless that drinking seemed a good idea... so, I think you should first forgive yourself and see it as a mistake you won't make again and I hope he'll be able to see it that way, too.

[maja]

thank you all for your support...we ended up talking about it all today and i apologised and he did as well cos he said he overreacted a bit, because he was a quite drunk too and just very worried about me. so everythings perfectly fine again more or less

[Snowy.Winter]

That's great maja (: Glad you got it sorted!

[lunamea]

Aww, that's good to hear! Ich freu mich für dich/euch!