Affect on Relationship

[MAB15]

What has been the affect of LDR on your relationship as a whole?

A) No Affect
B) Negative Affect
C) Positive Affect
D) Mixed Positive & Negative Affect
E) Other


*Expand on what the affect has been.

[Caitlin2009]

D. Because its the most amazing experiance ive ever gone through, however it has its down sides like not being able to see her everyday, not being able to do what other couples can do. However one day that will all change and yes its hard but in the end i know it will be worth it because we love each other enough to make it work

[ginaxnj]

Definitely D.. There are so many good things about being with him and yes the distance does get to me sometimes and I try not to let it. There are so many things that I love about him and I am so glad that I met him, even if he does live on the other side of the country. The only real negative effect is the distance. I hate these almost 3,000 miles with a passion! It makes him seem like hes on another planet or something. I look at where he is and it kills me to know that I'm not able to be with him whenever I want. On a positive note, I couldn't have a more caring, sweet, funny, handsome, amazing guy. I've never had anyone treat me so good and he just makes me feel special. I just feel really lucky that I do have someone that is so good to me even if he is a plane ride away.

[lpuckett]

D
But the final effect is positive. The thing is, the positive growth and emotional maturity that we reached from distance came from working through mistakes and negative effects due to the distance. You really learn what is important in life and to not sweat the little things. You also learn greater communication and have to really go to the other person for support in order to keep the realtionship going smoothly.

[garnet]

Also D. I hated being LD. But it allowed us to gain trust in each other, and get to know each other inside and out before even meeting IRL. Now that we've ended the distance, I think it was to our benefit that we started out that way. I think our relationship is stronger. But it really sucked at the time lol.

[NaNi]

D. Definitely. I very much dislike being in an LDR. It makes me feel lonely; I just want to see my SO and hold her and do all the things with her that most other couples can do all of the time. But then again I'm so lucky and thankful to have found my SO, even though she lives on the other side of the world. I've never been that happy before. I love her so very much. With all my heart. The distance also makes us value our alone time more. We don't take it for granted, as my SO would say.

[So_Far_Away]

I'm gonna go with C.

Our relationship is just so much stronger now. (We started off CD.. Sort of. It's a bit wierd) We trust each other more, we're forced to talk about things more because that's all we have when apart. I know I treasure the time I have with him more than a lot of my friends in a CDR do with their SO. There are a lot of bad things - waking up alone is the worst one - but we're just so much better off for the distance when I think about the big picture.

[xsomanymilesx]

D
theres always going to be positive and negatives
the positive i feel is that i love him with all my heart even though we havent met yet, and ive discovered how much we love eachother by showing how much we are willing to give up for eachother. i feel closer to him than anyone else i know, considering he's physically 3000 miles away thats pretty special and i dont think i would have felt this way if we got to know eachother CD.
the negatives now is that now i love him so much - we obviously want and need to be together in every possible aspect. the negatives is definitely missing out on the physical side of a reletionship and also the 'little things' CDR couples take for granted like seeing eachother all the time or just watching a movie together cuddled up - it hurts more than i thought it would.
but i woiuldnt change anything for the world. so i guess its C too

[Caitlin2009]

D
theres always going to be positive and negatives
the positive i feel is that i love him with all my heart even though we havent met yet, and ive discovered how much we love eachother by showing how much we are willing to give up for eachother. i feel closer to him than anyone else i know, considering he's physically 3000 miles away thats pretty special and i dont think i would have felt this way if we got to know eachother CD.
the negatives now is that now i love him so much - we obviously want and need to be together in every possible aspect. the negatives is definitely missing out on the physical side of a reletionship and also the 'little things' CDR couples take for granted like seeing eachother all the time or just watching a movie together cuddled up - it hurts more than i thought it would.
but i woiuldnt change anything for the world. so i guess its C too

oh yeah i so just miss Denise in my arms, Yeah i wanna make love to her who doesnt wanna do that with there SO but all i really want is to just feel her in my arms and know i aint dreaming! little things like that are what i wanna do so bad!

[archangel]

A - My relationship was long distance from the start, so to say that there positives and negatives in our LDR is... well, like trying to fix something that isn't broken. We knew the challenges and what we would have to face right from the beginning, we both knew how hard yet rewarding this is going to be. But we are not going to let anything get in the way of our love.
So we had to postpone my planned trip to Malaysia so we could meet in person, but who says we must make that situation into something more sad than it already is? We have moved on together by moving our plans to meet each other for the first time to later this year and this time nothing is going to stop us.

I would rather think of the distance as a long path boarded with lush blooming flowers on either side leading to a beautiful castle where you and your SO lives come together. Unlike a CDR you have a greater understanding about your SO and they about you, appreciating things which would be overlooked in a CDR since physical contact might come before understanding each other more deeply from the inside.
Also being in an LDR, I find gets you and your SO more aware of the some challenges you might face when you close the distance and also gives you time to prepare and strengthen the bond between both lovers.

AA

[Bluestars]

D. Like most everyone else has said, I think everything has its pros and cons.

Pros
I love my SO, and if being long distance for the time being is the only way we can be together, then it is worth it. If we didn't meet one another the way we did, i.e. online, then I do not think we would have ended up together. We are both really shy in person, so talking online at first let us get to know one another at a slow pace. In the past, I have rushed into relationships, but being far apart made us learn more about each other before we were ready to make such a big commitment. I am also proud of us for being LDR too because it takes a large level of trust, communication, and commitment. We have made so many great memories every time we visit one another that we will never forget. When we are together in person, our communication is also really good because we have to constantly work on it while being apart. Basically, I would never chose for us to have not been LDR from the very beginning because it has made us who we are as a couple, and all of the struggles will only make us stronger. I like to think that everything will be easier than surviving an LDR, so when we make it through this, we can do anything

And according to my SO Jared when I asked him the same question: It is fun traveling to see one another because we get to go places we normally do not, and the time we spend together is also more special. Like less time is more Getting presents in the mail is also exciting!

Cons
Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in these, but I try not to focus too much on them because there is nothing I can do to change our situation at the moment. I do not think LDRs are the natural form of a relationship, so I feel as though we are constantly fighting the distance to be with one another (if that makes sense). Traveling to see one another is expensive! It can eat up your pay checks, so you have to sacrifice other things to be with your loved one. We also ran up the phone bill at one point and had to pay a ton of fees!

Making time with one another can also be difficult because both of our lives run on different schedules. If we lived in the same town, we could catch lunch or dinner with one another everyday, and that would be the time that we spend together. But when all you have is talking on the phone with one another, it gets a little tricky. In a CDR, you can hang out with each others friends, but if you call your So when they are hanging out, it is rude to talk to them, so you just have to talk at a later time. Sometimes it can also be hard to keep the relationship exciting when all you do is talk on the phone. Your conversations begin to repeat themselves, so you have to figure out a way together on how to fix the problem.

But the worst part is the lack of physical contact. We love just laying in bed and cuddling, and that is what I miss the most. Just being intimate, and kissing and cuddling makes you feel closer together, so when you are apart for weeks at a time, it can be really hard to deal with, and the lack of it can make you feel like you are drifting apart when really you aren't.