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    #1

    Things just got tougher...

    So...I just had a long talk with my boyfriend.
    He's been under a lot of stress lately and hasn't been feeling like himself at all. That's all fine, and I'll be there for him to support him as he ponders life and figures out what he wants to do in the coming years and things.
    What is a little difficult is that he told me that he doesn't want to move to my city with me while I do my last year of university. I understand his reasoning, and that he doesn't think it would be the best idea right now, it's just taking a little while to adjust to the idea of him not being there with me next year.
    He doesn't want us to live together yet, because he's not ready for that. That's also fine, and I understand, but again...I'm still trying to comprehend that he's not going to be there. I mean, my plan in the future is to move over to the UK, and we'll have a fairly 'CD' relationship like the majority of the world, but right now it's just tough. Another year has been added to the time I thought we'd be together.
    Thoughts on what I could do to adjust..or something?
    xxx
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    #2
    Awww, i'm sorry to hear this. I know its a huge disappointment for you, it'll take time to erm...get over it? I'm sorry if that's not the correct wording!
    Made it official: 12-01-10
    First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
    Closed the distance: 07-31-13

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      #3
      It's a good thing that he was honest enough with you to let you know something so disappointing, rather than waiting and having it end up being a disaster. All you can do is either give it some time and adjust, or rethink if an extra year LD is something you can do. A year is a long time, but it's not forever, and as long as you're relatively sure he won't keep dragging it out perhaps because of some commitment issues, you can do it if you want to. It might take some time to get used to the idea though, and it's OK to feel hurt for awhile. Good luck.
      Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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        #4
        ^I second Moon's advice. She always gives great perspective on things.


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          #5
          I understand where you are coming from. I'm a couple years younger than you, but the reality of a LDR is relatively the same to everyone. Currently I have no idea when my boyfriend and I will be living in the same country again, and I, and everyone here, understand what you are feeling.

          The way I am dealing with this difficult time is really focusing on myself. Which may sound a little weird, but my SO and I were so dependent on each other when we were living near each other, that we are taking this time to become more independent, which will surely help us in the future. I've been focusing on school and I've started reading a lot more (something that I love but have neglected recently), as well as picking up new or old hobbies. I find painting really helps me with my emotions (I'm no good at it, but it's fun).

          I know it can be hard when you find out that closing the distance won't be as close as it was before, but change happens and I'm afraid we have to just "go with the flow". I've been learning that a lot lately. With the distance it is hard to always have things go as planned, like visits or even phone calls. I get that. But each day we get through gives me new hope. Love conquers a lot of things. It's cheesy, I know, but people say it for a reason.

          Best wishes to you and your SO!
          started dating: 12/08/12
          "i love you": 04/12/13
          el paso: 07/24/13 - 08/05/13
          montreal: 12/13/13 - 01/03/14
          el paso: 01/05/14 - 01/19/14
          montreal: 05/30/14 - 07/27/14
          el paso: 07/27/14 - 08/18/14
          el paso: 12/27/14 - 01/16/15
          el paso: 06/02/15 - 08/17/15
          san antonio: 02/04/16 - 02/08/16
          san antonio/el paso: 06/03/16 - 06/21/16

          Comment

            #6
            Thanks for the suggestions you guys~
            We had a long talk yesterday, and he said he wants to take a break for a while. He's been struggling with life in general and getting uni things sorted lately, and needs some time to himself, which I'm willing to give him...but i just don't know if things are going to go back to us actually being together right now.
            It's really scary, because I'm moving to a town very close to him in just over a week, and it's a huge thing to drop suddenly.
            Hopefully things will go back to normal, but we'll see.
            xxx

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