It Was Only A Kiss

[SquishyLove]

I honestly think if this girl is cutting herself, among other emotionally unstable behaviors, she doesn't need to be in a relationship and she needs to seek therapy and commit to bettering herself. You deserve a partner who will respect you and is stable. She needs to get help for her problems. I think you're better off letting her go and she'll be better off if she really makes a commitment to her recovery. I'd be beyond hurt and crushed if I knew my husband kissed another woman, and I know he'd feel the same way if I'd done the same thing.

[Aerialwakeboarding]

Wow thanks to everyone who responded, I didn't expect so many. As an update this last week has been relatively rough. While I didn't anticipate getting back together with her I did the best I could to keep communication open between us to see if it were possible to learn to trust her again. It became a situation she quickly took advantage of by going from blaming me for what happened because she wanted to work things out and I wasn't ready, to apologizing for what she did, to offering to pay for me to come out there to meet with her in person, to telling me it would be best if we just ignored each other. While I would hate to lose the person I've spent basically every day of the last year and a half talking to, I'm beginning to think its just not possible. Despite the fact that I've already finalized everything for moving out there for grad school in December. I guess it bothers me so much because it seems like I'm the one who keeps getting burned here despite she was the one who messed up. I know its best for us to not be in a relationship anymore. And I hope this would make her commit to her therapy, I have a feeling this will make her back into the hardcore drinker/partier that she was before we met. Which just sucks to think I would be the catalyst for all that.

[Sharon Q]

As far as being very upset over kissing another guy I can understand when my SO and I were on break I kissed one of my friends, I felt awful because I didn't want to hurt my SO or my friend and even tho my SO and I were on break I still cared for and wanted to be with him.

He wasnt entirely okay with it but I had made the situation worse by letting my emotions get to me. I didn't want to hurt anyone. But really I was hurting myself ( emotionally ) more than either of them.

So that may be why she's so upset about it.

Each situation is different. If she wants to stop cutting SHE HAS TO WANT TO. no amount of counseling will help unless she wants it to. ( I know this as I used to self harm as well, but I've stopped )

It sounds like if she wants this relationship to work she needs to work on her first, If she continues to act this way and you stay with her, the relationship will not be healthy.
The best thing you can do is try to talk to her and try to get her to get some serious help.