Help Me ! :(

[Simon]

Dear visitors,

My GF and Me are together since 16 April 2011,
We met each other on a game called World of Warcraft.
Everything went smooth, last year i left in september to find work there ( Norway ) wich sadly enough didnt work out.
So we went on but now last week something snapped, she started to talk less to me being more fragile emotionalwise.
Now yesterday we were still having. She told me her mom bought a vacuum machine and we were joking that thats good so we dont need to buy that once we move together.
But an hour later she came back and she started to talk about she cant handle the distance anymore. Ofc i started to panic because she means more than just the world to me.
I dont know what to do atm i cant sleep, i cant eat, i cant walk properly because i'm totally stressed out.
So now i'm planning to get on a flight monday to go there i have to see her, i have to talk to her. Is that a good idea or will it only make it worse ?
Wich i dont want so i really need you guys help.

Thanks for reading,
Greetings Simon.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I think you should talk to her about going out there to talk things through in person before you book your flights. If she wants to break up, and doesn't want to talk about it anymore, then you getting on a plane to come and see her is just going to upset her, not get you what you want.

I think that a lot of people who are long distance can make decisions that they wouldn't necessarily make if their SO was close distance, and that may be the situation you have here.

All you can do is talk through things calmly, respect what she has to say. You can't make someone want to be with you. Like I said, talk to her about going over to talk it all out before you book anything, because otherwise you'll end up pissing her off, wasting your time and money, all for another good dose of heartbreak.

[Simon]

The thing is she says she needs me she loves me and she misses me all the time. Yet its just bad timing because shes rlly busy now she has to go to school when shes done she has to work same goes for tomorrow and the day after so we will barely have time to talk
I dont know what to do.

[Carenza LaRue]

in my opinion now, it would be to keep your cool and accept things for what they are at this moment.

it seems to me, your girlfriend is too tied up, busy with other things and perhaps a tad confused.
which is okay actually, since she has a life apart from you.
it doesn't mean a thing, just that she is busy and has to sort out things first before she can direct attention to you

so keep your cool..... don't force anything.... just tell here that you would want to visit her a.s.a.p. to sort things out and if she is fine with that.
if she isn't, well..... no need to fly over there.

if she is, then still keep your cool.... fly over there and talk things through...... but remember.... no pressure.
it might be delicate...... you might not know what is happening in her life right now..... so, let her do the talking and support her..

that's all I can advice you right now..... on base of what you said in your post.
I hope it will turn out right for the both of you.....

and you my friend, keep yourself busy with other things in the mean time..... don't show her you feel desperate and lost....
best of luck to you...... we are here for you if you need to talk

[Eleven]

hello bro, my gf started to go to school too.
we have only (3 to 4hrs to talk on weekdays / 12hrs in Weekend)

hmmm. maybe ask her first if she willing to wait. We all know that LDRs is tough.
If she really love you, she should wait and be patient.

and uhm just to add.

I always send my SO a sweet goodmorning messages, a long one every morning.
and when she's at school, I'm making a long one too when she gets back.
and then Skype for 1-2hrs.

Hope it will help you.

[Simon]

The thing is we used to call each other everyday we used to game everyday for like about 6 hours i think everytime she went to bed whe closed the day with a calm skypecall wishing each other a goodnight.
And talk about how sickly much we love each other. But that changed all because of school it seems like her school asks alot of attention and she doesnt want me to be a part of her life anymore while this.
Everytime i try to support her she breaks the support ( Like when she says this Long distance wont work because its to hard, When she says we wont live together because it will take to much time untill we can actually live together. Than i try to say the opposite because i know it will work because i believe in it and i totally want to move there asap because she is the person i need in my life so does she say. )
So i dont get why she wants to break up now I mean she Loves me insanely much she says, She needs me she says and She misses me she says but why do you break up than ?

[Sanney4709]

I think you should give her her space. If she is busy with school and work then she probably doesn't have much time to talk. Me and my SO are both in college and during the school year we are lucky if we can talk for two hours once a week. We just get so busy with school, work, and trying to maintain a social life. It can be extremely hard at times but we both understand that the other needs their space. Just leave her alone. She will likely realize she misses you and try to contact you. In the mean time keep yourself busy. Good luck I hope everything works out all right.

[Eleven]

I think you should give her her space. If she is busy with school and work then she probably doesn't have much time to talk. Me and my SO are both in college and during the school year we are lucky if we can talk for two hours once a week. We just get so busy with school, work, and trying to maintain a social life. It can be extremely hard at times but we both understand that the other needs their space. Just leave her alone. She will likely realize she misses you and try to contact you. In the mean time keep yourself busy. Good luck I hope everything works out all right.

yeah, Sanny is right.

but the thing is, u said she wants a break up?
She's giving up because of the Long distance thing? o.o

hmm tell her to visit this forum bro.

and tell her to read some our fellow LDR'ers story and be inspired.

[Simon]

After a LONG night of crying and thinking and one effective message from her i finally know whats going on... But still i dont know what to do.
The problem from her side is that she has way to much schoolwork she also has to stay longer 2 days a week for extra lessons and than she has that job in the Mc Donalds where she is shiftleader now and it all asks so much energy out of her. And i feel bad about that she is totally stressed out and she doenst rlly know what to do. But i think the biggest problem is that her parents are PROBABLY just saying that it is the distance thats killing her wich is demotivating and they should give motivation. But its insanely hard not to get contact with her cos she is busy all the time. I dont mind her having less time for me ofc it is hard but as long we have each other i dont think anything is hard and i was always planning to close the distance in 2013 like around January. I try to support her as much as possible but i'm begging her for just listening to me for like 60 minutes or so because i'm sure that is enough to give her that mental boost and to put her back on the path of LDR.

The only thing is that i have a problem with her parents demotivating her wich is totally not what i expected...Its not that they dont like me cos they always said they love me aswell.
But for now i give her as much support as possible but still its rlly hard and i dont know what to do with my feelings at this moment

[Romeo s Juliet]

Everytime i try to support her she breaks the support ( Like when she says this Long distance wont work because its to hard, When she says we wont live together because it will take to much time untill we can actually live together. Than i try to say the opposite because i know it will work because i believe in it and i totally want to move there asap because she is the person i need in my life so does she say. )

When she say she cant do it, and that living together takes time, you say you try to say the opposite, so i guess you say things like no our LDR will work, and we can do it, we can actually live togther sooner than you think.

maybe when she tells you things like "no this don't work, its hard we cant wait that long" did you try to find out what kind of response she expects from you when she says things like that? for most girls, at least for me when i say something and my SO tries o say no its not gonna be like that, and tells the opposite, it kind of makes me feel annoyed. i know my SO says such things because he want to cheer me up. and i know that is your intention too, to cheer up your girl.
but i think you should first give her some space to settle into her school work, and then talk with her as to what kind of response she expects from you when she feels that the relationship has no future.
good luck!

[D.4C]

in a relationship...if you truly want that relationship...whether it be distance or whatever...you will fight for it...so i understand your wanting to go to her...as a guy..i would wanna do the same thing...kinda worried that she is willing to just give up because of the distance...as we all know...it is very hard...but is very worth it if you truly love that person...i wouldn't just book a flight and go to her...i would talk to her about it first...and figure out a better time to go and see her when she would have more time with you...just showing up may not be the best thing...just my 2 cents

[Simon]

So after all we decided to take a break. But after an entire evening chatting she told me she loves me and she wants to marry me asap and so on.
So i asked her do you want me to come friday ? She said hmm i probably dont have time cos i have to work friday and probably sunday. When i asked her if you had time would you want me to come she said yes.

So i'm thinking now is the correct way to handle this: say her tomorrow i will come and i dont mind if she has to work aslong we have that evening together ?