GF doesn't seem to want...

[gmramon]

...Skyping/videochating

We have been together for the last year and 3 months. 8 months ago I came to study abroad and we had to separate and started a LDR. We had the opportunity to spend a month together some weeks ago as she came to visit me and we were able to realize how much we love each other. However, the first time we separated we knew it was gonna be hard but we really keep in touch whith each other and we talked a via Skype, at least for the first 3 or 4 months. The problem is that before she came to visit I started to had the feeling that she was avoiding me and that she really didn't want to videochat, although we text messaged every day. We spent almost a month or probably more without videochating at all, at a given point I was even hesitating in if she was gonna come to visit me.

Now I have the feeling that she is doing the same all over again. She says she loves me a lot but I have the feeling that she doesn't want to talk or videochat with me and finds any excuse to avoid it. As in the first time, the fist weeks this didn't happen and we felt so in love with each other. She has a lots of ups and downs, but sometimes I feel like although she says she loves me she doesn't make an effort to videochat or to find a couple of hours during the week for us. The few times we have seen videochated in the last weeks I can feel that she is not excited at all (is almost as if she would be pissed of me), and it's not the first time I have this feeling. I have tried to tell this to her, but in some way she always makes me appear as if was the bad guy who is putting to much pressure on her. I really don't know what to think or do, I really love her and I don't wanna lose her, so any comments or advise will be appreciated. Cheers!

GR

[Black_Halloween]

I think she just feels uncomfortable on video, i'm the same way. Shes not ignoring you if she texts with you all day. I feel like you need to stop pressuring her to skype with you, that's why shes angry.

[Eleven]

Just like what you said, she feels like you're pressuring her.
Give her time to be calm? Just avoid to talk to her about video call.
Let her be the first to say it, she will realize how she really miss your face.

[Carenza LaRue]

I think she just feels uncomfortable on video, i'm the same way. Shes not ignoring you if she texts with you all day. I feel like you need to stop pressuring her to skype with you, that's why shes angry.

my thoughts exactly!

[enemey96]

I think she probably feels a bit uncomfortable on video, like the others said. But it might also be because if she sees you she thinks she will miss you more and she might realize that you're actually quite far away? I know it sounds stupid, but when I've just seen my SO and come home, I do want to see him on video, because I miss him and everything, but part of me doesn't want to I case I miss him more - which in the beginning I always do, and I usually end up crying when he says we should go to sleep? Maybe this is the same for your SO?

[Romeo s Juliet]

I think you should not ask her to video chat with you. It happens, people get kind of tired trying to keep contact in particular ways. for example, me and my SO used to exchange good morning messages on facebook everyday for a year, and suddenly he stopped messaging me. and i was worried and i wanted to know what the reason was, and kept on worrying about it, and i finally realized that sometimes people fall off with things and dont feel like doing the same things they felt like doing before, but my bf chats with me alot almost all day, and i understood that maybe he didnt feel like wanting to msg me on facebook every morning.

so people change, and they sometimes dont want to do certain things with time. you need to understand that you cant force her to do things. you can simply tell, which you did, and you saw that she was feeling pissed, worried, and pressured.

so i think you should just let the matter go and not ask her to video chat with you again, unless she says she want to do it. after she is calmed down, ask her about how you both should communicate, and discuss which communication methods are gonna be okay for the both of you
good luck!

[D.4C]

maybe see if you kind find something new to keep in contact...excitement makes things fresh...and i agree that videochatting maybe doesn't make her feel so good...and seeing you...could make her even more depressed...i would contact her...email or text or whatever...tell her you aren't pressuring her...but just let her know how you are feeling...and you may get your answers...which should make you feel better about the situation

[gmramon]

Thank you so much everyone, yes, I guess things change with time but that doesn't necessarily mean that she is not interested anymore. I'll just try to take thing easy. Thanks again!

[iHeartt]

I think she probably feels a bit uncomfortable on video, like the others said. But it might also be because if she sees you she thinks she will miss you more and she might realize that you're actually quite far away? I know it sounds stupid, but when I've just seen my SO and come home, I do want to see him on video, because I miss him and everything, but part of me doesn't want to I case I miss him more - which in the beginning I always do, and I usually end up crying when he says we should go to sleep? Maybe this is the same for your SO?

Sometimes (ok, most of the time, almost never!) my SO doesn't want to FaceTime with me. Like most of yall have said, maybe its because he's uncomfortable on cam/video. It does take a while to get used to! But, on the other hand, like enemey96 said, when I do see him, I usually end up a little tearful because I miss him so much. I know he hates to see me cry or even have tears in my eyes so this might be a reason as well. I stopped asking him to FaceTime with me because I will usually end up with a "no". That doesn't mean he loves me any less, it just means that he's not going to let me get everything I want!!! (there's no smiley for a pouting little girl!!!) And, when I finally did stop asking, he now brings it up a little more and asks me!
So back off a little on the entire video topic. Some people would just rather keep in contact a different way.

[Softy]

I personally am not a fan of video chat...
Not because I don't have time or I don't care about my bf.
But I am workin on self-esteem, I don't like to see myself on video or pics.

Also...
I don't want him to see me cry ^_^;
Last time we did video chat, I saw him and I was holding it in so bad... because I want to show a 'bright side' of me and show him im ok with the distance.
But once he wanted us to video chat and i said no cuz i was cryin.

So maybe she has reasons for it, maybe ask her?

cheers