How to gain confidence and self esteem in a relationship? (Stop being a B****y GF)

[allbymysmelf]

Me and my boyfriend have been living in different countries for a year now (Im moving back in a few months), However during this time, we have had so many arguments, and I hate to admit it, but i have become jelous and bitter towards his friends, because he always goes out and sees them, and all we get to do is sit on skype. And I know Im wrong, but I cant get rid of these feelings of jelousy, and I always seem to cause an argument when he goes out drinking. I dont want to be this kind of girlfriend, but I hate the fact that he goes and hangs out with all these other girls, and I dont get to see him. I know he loves me and Im the world to him. But long distance has really got to both of us. And i dont want to be a jelous type, or just an anoying moany ***** girlfriend. Does anybody have any advice or sites to help me get over this?

[pretty ll vacant]

Sorry, I don't have any sites but I can tell you this .. It's a key factor called self confidence, and knowing that you're sexier/funnier/cooler than all those other girls, and that's the reason that he's with you and not them. I've realized that in a long distance relationship sometimes you need to be cocky, show your man that you're different than other typical jealous girls. I hate falling into female stereotypes because I most definitely do not play into any of them, except for sometimes being sappy about missing my bf, but I digress. You'll be there with him in a few months! Holy crap I'd be so excited and trying to just make it sound like its gonna be the best thing ever to him. I hope you can get over the jealousy because it really can ruin a relationship, just keep on being the same wonderfully charming girl that he fell in love with in the first place and you can't go wrong.

[Nbaby]

I wish i had advice. Im not like that at all. But i think you should ask urself a few questions. Does he act the same way when u hang out with ur friends? What makes u so insecure and jealous? Something happend in the past? Why is he still with you and not with one of those girls? You obviously have something special . I hope u find a solution. Take Care.

[EnglishMan]

I'll admit there's a couple of her guy friends who can really bring out the inferiority complex within me. She spends a reasonable amount of time with them, calls them both awesome, and ive also seen pictures of both and it baffles me that i'd get picked ahead of them.

But like me, the fact remains that despite all of that, your SO is with YOU. In my instance, I might hate that they get to spend so much time with her, and I might secretly hate that her opinion of them is pretty high. But she still chose me. She still chose a guy who she will have to put real effort into making it work with, when with these guys she could've easily seen them most days or whatever. I dont even much like hearing their names lol, but my girlfriend spends as much time as she can talking to me, she dates me... the point being these guys are largely irrelevant, because it's me she's dating and like me, I know she wouldn't swap that for anything.

Thats just what you've gotta remind yourself. I know in my relationship, my mind wants her all for me, and really that's just very unreasonable. But you've gotta remember he's yours, not these other girls. The time he spends with you is wayyy more intimate than the passing conversations those girls get. LDR's require a lot of effort, and he chose to put that effort into being with you.

[SonyaKitty]

I understand, my bf is a major flirt (and says i am too) ,but hes mine. And he wont leave me. You need to trust him more, hes with YOU. And he wants you, not those girls.

[Moon]

What I can tell you is that if you can't get a hold of your emotions, and stop acting that way, you aren't gonna have a boyfriend. Nobody needs that kind of drama in their lives, and you need to be very conscious of that, all of the time. If you take on the philosophy that you will only treat him in the ways you'd like to be treated yourself, it might help. It's hard to be unselfish and fair sometimes, but it's necessary to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. You might not be able to be perfect about it, and that's OK, but it will make you both happier.

[AABRCL05]

I admit that at times I feel the same way that you do. My boyfriend tends to go to the same bar all the time and he is now friends with all of the bartenders there (which are all female). I have just come to the conclusion that I am the one he wants to be with...yes he may be hanging out with other females...but he is my SO! So just remember that he wants to be with you and not anyone else! Keep your head up!

[ushiwakafox]

Omg I was like this for a long time and it really does make everyone involved miserable. I always felt such guilt for being so b****y towards my SO, but it's so hard to control such strong feelings. It was at a point in our relationship that we were fighting multiple times throughout the week, and even my best friend who is close to both me and my SO told me recently that during that time she was afraid that things might end for us.
One day it hit me that the reason why we were both so miserable was because of me. I control the mood of the relationship, basically. No, I'm not a controlling matriarch, my SO is just very neutral and pretty much gives me the reins for a lot of things. The thing I realized that really made me change my ways was that no one wants to be with a b***h. No one wants to deal with that, no matter how much he loves you and how patient he is. He deserves much better than that.
I came to this realization by having a calm discussion with him. We were both laying in bed, relaxing after a day. Nothing confrontational, just a natural conversation about where we were in the relationship and the things we could improve on and how we think we got to that point.
This whole relationship thing is a team effort, it can't just be one person in charge all the time. He may let me have control in many instances, but he also dominates in other situations.
I'm sorry that was so...scatterbrained lol.

[Sabbi696]

In a nutshell just remember he is with you for a reason.