Beginning to have anxiety over the coming LDR

[ushiwakafox]

So me and my SO have been in an LDR before, and I'll admit I could have handled it much better, but hey you live and you learn. But anyway we've closed the distance for I wanna say almost 3 years. It's been a great 3 years, but within the past few months he decided to join the Air Force, and his basic training date is pretty much new years. Let me make sure I say that I am so proud of him I could just spit (yes I know how strange that phrase is lol) and I'm so glad that he'll be happy because he's been stuck in his life for a while now. He's even told me many times that he's doing this for me, because he wants me to be happy and live comfortably and in a life style that I am used to. My dad has been in the AF all my life so I'm definitely accustomed to the life style. I appreciate so much that he loves me so much.
I'm very excited for his new life and the adventures that he will be going on, but I hate so much that I won't be with him for the first few years. We both unanimously agreed that it'd be best for me to graduate college first. So once he leaves it's going to be very hard to see each other again until we actually get married.
So I'm starting to get some intense anxieties about him leaving. I've always been the one to leave, not him. I don't have my family here, I moved out to be closer to him. We don't live together, but we do spend every weekend together, and that's really what my anxieties are over. I hate being alone, and I really don't do well being alone. Not having him to look forward to every weekend brings a feeling of panic up. I know we'll be able to skype and stuff (at least, after he graduates basic training) and that's great, but the idea of me still being alone on the weekends brings a sense of dread.
I just moved into a new dorm, so me adjusting to a new place seems to have triggered all this. Up until recently I was just fine.
I don't know why I'm saying all this, I guess I'm just reaching out, I know everyone here probably has been here before to some extent. And what bothers me is I've been here before too. I guess I forgot that it never does get easier.

[redapple]

I can definitely sympathise with a lot of what you've written. I too hate being alone, even for short periods of time. You say you've just moved dorms, maybe you can find some clubs/societies to join or just try and make some new friends that you can spend your weekends with? if thats not possible maybe you could get a part time job at the weekends? My SO is just about to leave too and I have many of the same worries so feel free to pm me if you just want to talk about it more!

[ushiwakafox]

I've thought about joining a club, I haven't found one that I'm interested in but I'll keep an eye out. I thought about getting a part time job too. We'll see how desperate I get when he's gone ;P Plus some spending money is always fun to have. I was thinking about working on campus. Luckily me and my new room mate are hitting it off pretty well so maybe we'll end up being close, that would be really helpful.
What seems to really help me is just being able to talk to people here who are in the same situation. Compared to most other forums and websites this one is by far the most welcoming and comforting
I know we can do it, we've done it before. I think really what unnerves me is just getting through the change. Once I've found a routine I'm usually pretty content for the most part. I hate going through change, even changing dorm rooms. It's taking me over 2 weeks to settle in here and I'm still adjusting :l oh well, it'll happen eventually.
Thanks for the post! I'll look around for a club again, maybe something new has popped up.

[Sharon Q]

My best friend met a guy who was going into the air force, tho they didnt know each other long, they got married and now she is living with them on base. Tho they got married before he left so that after basic she could join him, she has told me of cases where people get married over the phone just so they could be together.

If you two have been together long and are serious, would marriage be an option? that way you two could be together.

[ushiwakafox]

My best friend met a guy who was going into the air force, tho they didnt know each other long, they got married and now she is living with them on base. Tho they got married before he left so that after basic she could join him, she has told me of cases where people get married over the phone just so they could be together.

If you two have been together long and are serious, would marriage be an option? that way you two could be together.

Oh God, I would absolutely love to get married right now, and he also would like to. It's just so unlikely for military spouses to go back to school. He's really pushing graduating college, and I am too. I know that if I drop out now, it will be so hard for me to go back. It's so easy to just get caught in a routine, especially in the military when routine is hard to come by. It's not impossible, nor unheard of, I just don't want to let myself get stuck and without an education.

As the date comes closer though, the more I'm willing to risk it :l. I wish I knew what to do. I also would like an actual ceremony. It's kind of a little dream of mine to have a nice wedding. Not a big one, but a nice simple ceremony. I don't want it to be rushed, I've been waiting so long for it.

It really does make me sad knowing that I won't get to share those experiences with him. My parents got married 12 days before my dad went to basic training. My mom also dropped out of college to do so. I have always respected her decision and have never once thought lowly of her, but to this day she regrets not staying in school. She hasn't gone back to school because she's so stuck in routine and she's afraid of going back. I guess I'm just so scared that I'll end up living in regret too.

My SO mentioned the other day that he does want to/plan on proposing after basic training. I don't see how he could, but it makes me feel very happy knowing that he wants to. I guess some of what is stopping us is my dreams and me being stubborn on fulfilling them. I've sacrificed things to be with him here, having a rushed unplanned wedding is something that I'm not sure I'm willing to sacrifice. I don't feel there's anything wrong with that, it just sucks because I know deep down I'm pretty much keeping myself from being with him. Just trying to do the right thing, you know?

Sorry for the rambling. Just a lot of things going on in my head.